Punch: Punch (75.1878)

306

PUNCH, OH THE LONDON CfiAElVABL_[January 4, 1879.

A RETORT COURTEOUS.

New Parlour-Maid. "Here's a Letter, Ma'am, if you please !"

New Mistress. "Pray, Mary, are you not accustomed to see Letters handed on a TnAY?"
Neiu Parlour-Maid. "Yes, Ma'am. But I didn't know you was!"

A QUALIFIED WELCOME.

To leave you a-shivering here were a sin :
So, as there's no choice, I must e'en take you in!
"lis a hlackish look-out that before you you've got!
Your parent turned out an extremely bad lot,
And if you inherit ancestral defects,
The Ratepayers' Board may well say it objects
To the burden in store. What a bothersome bout
We have had with the year that is just slinking out
Like a furtive defaulter ashamed to be seen!
It brought us but little save trouble and teen,
And though one would scarce, while it's moribund, vex it,
One's happy to speed the old nuisance's exit.
How ought we to welcome the incoming guest ?—
Well, at least 'tis a change, and perhaps it were best,—
Though you come on the heels of the fog and the frost,
Like a poor little foundling in mid-winter lost,
And although your appearance scant evidence bears
That you 're one of those angels who come unawares,—
To give you a welcome; 'tis hard to find ground for it
In aught one can see, look one ne'er so wide round for it.
But john Bull has some tips he would like to impart,
Before for next twelvemonth we make a fair start.
Don't kick up a row ! He is so sick of shines,
That his mind more than ever to quiet inclines.
Y our precious progenitor scouted poor Peace,
And scarcely allowed us a moment's surcease
Of shindies abroad, or of squabbles at home,
And the natural Nemesis clearly has come-
In bad morals, bad manners, bad temper, bad trade,
Bad weather, bad health—bad all round, I'm afraid.'
A spirited policy poked up the nation,
Whose " Spirit," I fancy, needs "rectification,"
n e^-iTre than 0ur fr0I1tiers. Oh, if the New Year
Lould but banish the spectres Suspicion and Fear,

Conceit, and Cantankerous Vanity, then

We might see Peace on earth, and Good Will among men;

The shout of the Jingo might cease from the land,

And the howl of blind hate, with their haste hand in hand.

Then Bogeys were banished, and Bugbears o'erthrown,

And the trumpets of party and faction unblown ;

Then spite might be dumb, and contention might cease,

And the world have a taste of the blessings of peace ;

Young Shaver, we hope, as we must take you in,

That you won't add your voice to the general din.

Y^ou arrive in bad times and detestable weather,

But, since for a while we must toil on together,

Though laid at our door like a waif by the late

E/irclamented bad bargain, old Seventy-Eight,

If you '11 learn better ways, and not kick up a shine,

We will e'en make the best of young Seventy-Nine.

" The Same Concern."

Dear Mr. Punch, Stocum Pogis.

Passing along Oxford Street, the other day, my eye was
attracted by a shop-window, in which was exhibited a gorgeous
array of Church properties and ecclesiastical brass-work, including
a gigantic three-branched candelabrum. The adjoining shop bore
the legend, " Oxford Nursing Establishment." It occurred to me
that probably the two shop-windows really belonged to one and the
same concern, so that the little Oxford nurslings, after being
brought up at the one, might go for their playthings to the other.

Yours faithfully,

A Protestant Old Fogey.

seasonable benevolence.

Dame Nature set a good example to the generous this Christmas.
The frost itself began to give on Boxing-day.