Punch (35.1858)

72

[August 14, 1858.

THE RAREY ZEBRA PATTERN—A SWEET THING
FOR THE SEASIDE.

PRODIGIES IN THE PRESENT TIME.

THE ANGLO-SAXON TWINS.

Connected by the Atlantic Telegraph.

Success at last sits, like a crown,

Upon our work gigantic ;
Behold the Telegraph laid down

Beneath the broad Atlantic.
Yankee doodle, &c.

Accomplished is the mighty job,
In spite of wind and weather,

So Jonathan, we now shall throb
With sympathy together.
Yankee doodle, &c.

The two great nations not in chains

Are now as one connected,
Whereby the cause of Freedom gains,

For 'twill be more respected.
Yankee doodle, &c.

United, brother Jonathan,

In firm amalgamation,
I guess we Anglo-Saxons can

If need be, whip creation.
Yankee doodle, &c.

The odds are very much increased,
By our more close communion,

Against the Soldier and the Priest,
With Despots linked in union.
Yankee doodle, &c.

Let but our forces be combined,
And we'll preserve from fetters.

A no small some of human mind,
In science and in letters.
Yankee doodle, &c.

Free Press, which every bigot hates,

Free utterance of opinions,
Shall live in the United States,

And British Queen's dominions.
Yankee doodle, &c.

May talk of lightning slick as grease

Discussions shortly finish,
And every chance of broken peace
To less than nought diminish.
Yankee doodle, &c.

N ow every squabble we have had
Is pretty nigh forgotten,

The Manchester Guardian relates the case of a gentleman, who, after having
experienced extraordinary sufferings for eight years in various parts of his body,
had a needle an inch and a half long work its way out of his leg, he not in the
least knowing how it got into him. The other dav a well authenticated shower

of toads took place. What next ? If grown men eject from their skins needles x if i • W a 5 '

which never ran into their flesh that they know, and which, so far as they: And deal m corn and cotton,

remember, they never swallowed, the needles must have entered them in some lanKee doodle, <EC.

marvellous manner; because needles, when stuck into people, generally hurt them: Two thousand miles beneath the sea,

very much, and sticking m the throat hurt them still more. We shall not be If you're inclined as I am

surprised to hear shortly that somebody has been throwing crooked pins off his I That wire will draw close you and me

stomach without being aware of ever having bolted them. Is it possible that j ^ those famed twins of giam

needles are thrust or taken into the body during fats of temporary insanity, when 1 Yankee doodle &c

all that passed is subsequently forgotten ? Who can be sure that he never was

mad when alone—beside himself with nobody else by the side of him—and did not So let "United freemen's cheers

then play upon himself the mad trick of inserting needles in himself ? This question Drive all the tyrants frantic,

will recur whenever we are visited with an attack of " pins and needles." The Telegraph as each one hears

Then again, how about the shower of toads P If it rains toads, what other living Has spanned the great Atlantic,

creatures may it not rain P Why not rain cats and dogs in reality—alive and Yankee doodle, &c.

kicking? There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio—reader that is—
than are dreamt of in your philosophy; and toads which descend from the sky are
some of those celestial things, and needles which come out of gentlemen whom they
apparently never went into are some of those things terrestrial. These things
are real wonders, things which cannot be satisfactorily accounted for on natural
principles like photographs and electrotypes and electric telegrams. They are
calculated to nourish a pleasing thought that the supernatural is not all humbug,
and to_ encourage the expectation that we shall one day have a genuine ghost
appearing regularly in public at certain times, and perhaps delivering popular
lectures on spiritualism at a scientific institution. Such a phenomenon would
somewhat dumfound the intelligence of the nineteenth century, which is perhaps a
little bigoted, although it may be in the right, on the side of incredulity, and may
have much the same reason for disbelieving in ghosts as the intelligence of other
centuries had for believing in them.

Balm oe Columbia—Directly gold was discovered in British Columbia, a Bishop
was appointed to the Colony.

Fresh from Belgravia.

A Belgravian Lady was expecting two visitors. _ The
one was her Paseyite confessor—the other her solicitor.
There was a double knock, a palpitating pause, and the
servant appeared at the drawing-room door. The Lady,
anxious to learn the truth, tremblingly inquired, " if it was
the professional gentleman ? "

" No, Marm," was the flunkey's rough reply, "it's the
confessional gent."

the ills that elesh is heib to.

Of all the world's maladies, the loss of money k tfcft

slowest in point of recovery.—The Victim of a Pickpocket.-