Punch: Punch (75.1878)

PUNCJH, Oli THE LONt)ON CHARIVARI [J^y 20, 1878.

NO SINECURE.

Proud Mother [to the new Governess). " And here is a Pencil, Miss Green, and a Note-Book in which I wish you to write down

all the clever or remarkable things the dear children may say during your \v~alk."

MIXED EMOTIONS.

{By One who wasn't put up to it.)

Hooray ! It's a coup, and a glorious lark ;

It baffles the Bear, and our traitors it dishes.
(But why need he keep us so much in the dark,
When he knew we adored him as Albion's ark,
And lord of the loaves and the hshes ?)

Superb ! And the very identical thing-—

As we always declared—that was urgently wanted.
We 're proud and delighted his triumph to sing.
(But we might have been spared the superfluous sting
Of the mem'ry of charges recanted.)

Ha ! ha! How the Gladstonites grudge him his fame!
He has "played" them so calmly, and " stumped" them so
sweetly.

It's lovely to see them ! (But still, all the same,
There was no sort of reason for hiding his game

From us—his sworn friends—so completely.)

We knew, and declared, he'd a scheme in his head

For righting John Bull and the Muscovite humbling.
If our readers refer—— (Well, no matter ; least said
Soonest mended. They'd find much expression of dread,
And extremely inopportune grumbling!)

His triumph is ours, for we backed him all through.

(Let enemies sav he has sold us and shaved us ;
From praise based on what 'tis his game not to do,
And blame built on stories that turned out untrue.

The straight tip in time might have saved us.)

a bad exchange.

The best fruit America ever sent Ireland—the Potato. The worst
Ireland ever sent America—the Orange.

PLAY !

Pardon the inquiry, gentle reader, but have you such a thing as
a spare thousand-pound Bank-note about you ? If so, you cannot
well do better than invest it in the purchase of a bit of freehold land,
which is offered for a playground near St. Peter's, London Docks.
The poor children there live far from any Park where they might
play, and have no better recreation than the making of mud-pies, or
the projection of small missiles at strangers who approach them.
These little bratlings are brought up in the midst of bricks and
mortar, and know no more of playing cricket than of_ playing the
piano. A childhood without play is not a pleasant thing to think
of; and a thousand pounds in this case would suffice to stop the
thought of it.

While thinking of the matter, the happy thought occurs to me,
that the children round St. Paul's might help those round St. Peter's.
It would be a pretty gift if the children of the West were to give
this precious playground to the children of the East. Were little
Charles and Clara to consent to go without new playthings for a
month or two, and to be put upon short commons as to sugar-plums
and strawberries, and were other little Charleses and small Claras
to do likewise, a sufficiency of sixpences and shillings and half-
crowns to buy the playground for St. Peter's might, by judicious
combination, very readily be raised.

Weaving his Crown.

Twine Cypress with his Strawberry leaves ? Not now

'Tis for funereal, not festal days.
Look, for fit garland to entwine his brow,

Not to Greek Laurels, but to Turkish Beys.

A REVIVAL.

Op the Precious Stones that used to be found in Cyprus nothing
has been seen or heard for generations. Thanks to English occupa-
tion, there must be at least one Garnet, there, by this time.