Punch: Punch (75.1878)

42 PtJNCH, OK THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [Aucjust ?,, 1878.

OUR RESERVES.

Colonel of Volunteers {having clubbed the Battalion several times during the Drill). " Has y' were !—'Alt !—Mark time ! The 'ole

will bear in mind that my woed o' command is merely *a caution ' !-"

[A remark with which the 'ole of tlie Regiment entirely agreed.

THE "PAS DE DEUX."

" She did praise my leg being cross-gartered."—Twelfth Night.

Beaconsfield (in the pas de triomphe, complacently -'contemplating his
gartered leg). Well, Cecil, my boy, we are going it blazingly !

Salisbury (aside, not so complacently). Methinks a pas seal I should
rather more relish.

Beaconsfield. An excellent fit, and becomes yon amazingly.

Salisbury. A Garter 's the thing a fine leg to embellish.

Beaconsfield. Humph ! there I confess you have rather the pull.

Salisbury. You need not begrudge it, it 's nearly my only one.

Beaconsfield. Well, surely the cup oi your triumph is full.

Salisbury. I was thinking of Deeby, that outcast and lonely one.

Beaconsfield. It serves him quite right; he lost faith in my lead.

Salisbury. While I— (aside)—never thought to have you for my
leader!

Beaconsfield. The man's a disgrace to his chivalrous breed.
Salisbury. He has met with the fate that befalls the seeeder.
Beaconsfield (aside). Ah! there he speaks feelingly. (Aloud.) Out of
the race !

Salisbury. Far better indeed to have been a non-starter.
Beaconsfield. How smartly you countered him;—straight in the face !
Salisbury. Well, he '11 have to wait long enough for the Garter.
Beaconsfield (pirouetting). By Jove, they look well! Not a bad pair
of legs r

Salisbury (walking round). Ah! dancing is better than kicking
each other.

Beaconsfield. Of late ours has been like a dance among eggs.
Salisbury. Yes, but now we 've free fling. Shall we just try
another ?

Beaconsfield (rather blown, but resuming his step). By all means.

'Tis a pas de deux worthy of Yokes.
Salisbury. Ah ! Yokes et prceterea nihil, Ave '11 say.
Beaconsfield (making a wry face). Oh! sneer as you like, but I

canH stand your jokes.
Salisbury (acidly). Well, I own my dear Earl, you're the joke of the

day.

Beaconsfield. Much better ; that 's more in your natural form.
Salisbury (cutting a caper). Tchick ! Houp-la ! That wasn't a bad
pirouette.

Beaconsfield (puffing). A-h-h ! I'm older than you, and the weather
is warm.

Salisbury. Pooh! pooh! there is life in the old Dizzy yet.
Beaconsfield. One more then ; but mind, let us foot it together.
Salisbury (aside). Ah ! yes, that's his cue. Am I hero, or martyr ?
Beaconsfield (aside). Aha ! does he wince at the gall of the tether ?
Salisbury. Now for it! Keep step ! One would not fly this garter !

\_Left footing it.

An Irish. Bull in Action.

In the neighbourhood of a certain Irish city, which we need not
identify, an unfortunate herdsman, at a place suggestively named
Killbarry, was, the other day, gored to death by a bull. His master
gave evidence before the Coroner's Jury* among other witnesses,
which clearly proved the man's death by the horns of the animal.
The Coroner's recommendation to him is worth quoting for its highly
patriotic and national character. We recommend it to the admira-
tion of Messrs. Biggae. and O'Donnell :—

" Coroner.—I must ask you to part with the animal. Ship him. He is
not fit to have about the place. If you sell him here you will likely have
some more Irishmen killed. Ship him, and, if he is to kill any person, let it
be an Englishman." !!

Race and Ribbon.

Fkom the Winner, just weighing, look back to the Starter,
One name, if not one race, the blue ribbon shows;

From a Countess of Salisbury came the first Garter,
The last to a Marquis of Salisbury goes.

Appropriate Dbink (for the Earl of Beaconsfield and 3£arqtiis of
Salisbury at the Guildhall Luncheon o?i the 3rd of August.—"B. and
S.-—iced, if you please,—but not split."