Punch: Punch (75.1878)

September 21, 1878.]

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

131

STERN NECESSITY.

What a lot of Shooting you have this Yeah, old Fellow ! Must cost you no End ! "
Ah! those Dogs, you know. I was obliged to take something for them!'1''

THE PUBLIC WHEEL.

Hoio to preserve it on the Road: being a few simple Mules arranged
for the guidance of the accommodating Bicyclist.

Let the proprietor of every " sixty-four inch " machine take care,
in the first instance, that his approach shall not be noiseless ; and to
effect this, let him—

(1) Attach a large hand dinner-bell to each of his feet;

(2) Give a prolonged blast on a full-sized trombone whenever he
turns a corner;

(3) Carry no luggage but a self-winding bird-organ and a loose

public prejudice; at one moment stopping'to argue politely with a
nervous Lady in her brougham, at another patting aggressive little
street Arabs fondly on the head, and amusing them with a display of
red railway flags. By these and other artifices, and by the exercise
of a firm resolution never to be encountered on the high road at all
except when carrying his machine in bits in a blue bag in the dark,
he may be sure that gradually the temporary objection to his presence
Avill disappear, and that he will be welcomed as an inevitable institu-
tion by a genial, generous, and easily satisfied public.

SXIP AND SNOB.

Chinese gong: and It may be generally true that there is no accounting for tastes,

(4) Drop fog-signals immediately he sights an approaching ! but here, in the shape of a newspaper advertisement, is an instance
omnibus. of taste referrible, obviously, to an excess of avarice, and a deficient

This last precaution will probably prepare the horses for the i sense °f decency
appearance of anything ; but should they still show a restive spirit: mHE AWFUL THAMES COLLISIOjST adds another dreadful cata-
on making out the. advancing machine, let the proprietor instantly \ JL strophe to the already long list of fearful accidents that has lately come
dismount, and, assisting the conductor and passengers to blindfold 1 upon us with startling effect. From such heart-rending scenes it is well we
the creatures and take them gently, but firmly, out of harness, glide ' can turn away to a subject that affects the comfort and appearance of every

away cautiously, and promise to send a policeman. I Gentleman. Snobbins & Co.,-Street, who are always in the forefront

The true Bicyclist being, though a pleasure-seeker, above and ! wita new ideas> have for the Autumn Season a treat in store for their Patrons
before all things a gentleman, let him never forget that, when passing in a new k'ml °/ °loth> c*Ue.d *e " BEAVERSKFN, very light moderately
through a town, village, or hamlet, he shall- warm and perfectly wonderful for wear, buits, m best style, from Two to

° - , ' . Four Guineas.

(1) Wear a silk-faced frock-coat, light pantaloons, lemon- mi.-' . ■ *i £ -u i -^ ±-l i ± -j a m.
coloured kid gloves, and a chimney-pot hat; This utilisation, of such a calamity as the late accident on the

(2) Bow with finished ton to a costermonger as to a Countess ■ Rlver for advertising purposes is almost too cynical to be worthy of
w anc| 5 so? even sordid and shameless lauors of the baser sort. In order not to

(3) When run over by a careless tandem or a well-appointed give.them the notoriety which they probably would, like, a slight
four-in-hand, make some such good-humoured remark as, ! llommal f^^ion-of which, perhaps, the propriety is visible-has
" Oh, don't mention it! » or, " I really am so very clumsy been made m tlie aW exampfe °f dls£ustmS Puffe^-

this morning ! " -

If badly hurt and put on a stretcher, let him try even to 'make a

joke. An allusion to his being " a ne'er-do-wheel," or to the fact Domestic Economy.

that the " bicyclist's, iceal doesn't always follow from the driver's It has been suggested that the way to reduce the butcher's bill

whoa,' is sure to tell immensely under such circumstances, and give lies in managing to make both ends meet; but for too many poor

him a character for not being such a bad fellow, after all. This is Curates, and working-men almost equally poor, that meeting is in-

highly desirable. compatible with any meat at all, and therefore with any butcher's

Lastly, let Mm do his best on every possible occasion to disarm bill whatever.