Punch: Punch (75.1878)

156

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

[October 5, 1878.

UNEXPECTED GRATUITY.

Waiter. " Beg pardon, Sir, but I think you've made a Mistake. This
is a Halfpenny ! "

Old Gent {grandly). " On dear no—not at all, not at all ! I never

ANGELINA ON HER TRAVELS.

My own dearest Blanche,

In spite of my promise to write to you twice a day from the moment of
my leaving' London for the Continent, in company with Edwin, to the hour of
my return, I have really found it utterly impossible to send you a single line,
although we have been away now very nearly six weeks. The fact is, we have
been so busy that we have had time for nothing. As it is now raining heavily,
and Edwin is fast asleep, I will devote my unusual leisure to telling you whore
we have been, what we have seen, and what we have been doing. As you have
never been out of England, my love, I am sure you will be amused, and I think
I may really add, instructed by my descriptions.

We had a most fortunate passage over. You know Edwin is a barrister,
and has to defend all sorts of dreadful people at the Old Bailey. He says that
the thieves on board evidently recognised him as a " friend in need," and conse-
quently allowed our boxes and impedimenta (Edwin gave me that word) to
escape molestation. Be this as it may, we certainly lost nothing—not even a
watch. Were we not lucky ?

Nothing of importance occurred on our road to Paris until we reached
Amiens. The train stopped for ten minutes there, and we got such very nice
mashed potatoes at the Buffet. I shall never forget them.

1 am sure you would like Paris. Such a beautiful place ! _ Such shops !
There is one establishment on the other side of the water just like that large
place in Westbourne Grove. I got some very nice mittens there, which you
shall see on our return. We went to the Exhibition, too. It was rather
amusing, but we came across such a number of badly-dressed people that it
was quite a relief to get away from it.

Having now described Paris, I will tell you what we did next. We went
to Switzerland. 1 was just the least bit disappointed with it. The country is
very hilly, and rather damp. I found some trouble in walking (you know
I am fond of high heels), and my feathers came wofully out of curl. Leaving
these drawbacks out of the question, the place was rather nice. We got a
very good table-d' hote at Lucerne, and there was a capital band at Ouchy.
Edwin talked about staying a couple of nights at a hotel on the top of the Bighi.
At the last moment he found that the place was bankrupt, and said that, on the

whole, the company of a man in possession of a cloud-
capped mountain might possibly produce a feeling of
dulness. _ I was so glad when he gave up the scheme.
I hate climbing. Not that there is much climbing on the
Righi. You go up in a railway. But a railway is not as
comfortable as a lift.

Having now told you all about Switzerland, I pass on to
Italy. We thought it rather pleasant, although we could
not find any respectable wine but Marsala. At Florence
we came across an excellent English chemist's shop,
where we found we could get the best Bond Street per-
fumes. _ There were some pretty pictures, too, at one
of the Fine Art Galleries. Of course we went to Rome,
and saw everything. Edwin was very pleased with the
place, as he ascertained that he could buy the Times and
the other English newspapers at a library just opposite
our hotel. We went to Milan, too, and saw the Cathedral.
It was very nice, and reminded me rather of St. An-
drew's, Wells Street. Of course wc "did" Yenice. It
is rather difficult to describe. However, imagine what
the effect would be were they to build stone houses on
either side of the Regent's Canal, and you will get some
notion of the sort of thing. We got some good ices at
Florian's. The table-d'hate at the Europa was certainly
above the average.

Having now told you all about Italy, I will finish my
letter by giving you a few rough notes from my Diary
of other places we visited. As you one day may also
take a tour, you may really find them very useful:—

Antwerp.—The place where Reuden invented his hat.
Patterns are to be found in the picture galleries.

Brussels.—The capital of Belgium, and a good place
for buying boots.

Cologne.—You can get genuine Eau de Cologne here,
but you will find it a bore to carry home.

Dieppe.—A place where they dress three times a day.
There is some sea in the neighbourhood, which is used in
fine weather for the display of bathing costumes.

Geneva.—On a fine morning you can see Mont Blanc
from the window of your hotel. Rather pretty watches.

Heidelburg.—Mind you don't go up to the Castle-
it 's awfully fatiguing.

Madrid.—P^eaHy much better hotels than might be
expected.

Naples.—Rather nice. Yesuvius pretty.
Padua.—Interesting, if you are fond of that sort of
thing.

Pompeii.—Sweet.

Wiesbaden.—Rather dull since they have put a stop
to the gambling.

There ! I think I have written you quite enough;
and as Edwin is awake, and it has ceased raining, I
must bring my letter to a conclusion. However, my
own darling, I am sure you will readily own that there
is nothing like foreign travel for improving the mind.
Good-bye, and write soon. That's a dear, tell me all
the news—I mean what you are all wearing. Ah!
there's Edwin calling for me! Once more, good-bye.

Your ever affectionate friend,

Tuesday. Angelina.

P.S.—I don't send any address, as we are always on
the move. Don't forget to write.

To His Grace the Duke of Bedford.

{Addressed by respectable Covent Gardeners and thereabouts.)

We beg your pardon, but grant, your Grace,

One favour. Do alter this filthy place

Called Covent Garden—our neighbourhood's curse ;

We assure you 'tis getting worse and worse.

'Tis loathsome by day, and noisome by night,

And a word from your Grace would set it right.

It might be such a magnificent place !

But now 'tis to London a thorough disgrace.

Surely, the nuisance to remove,

Your Grace's property 'twould improve.

an awkward name.

'Arry, on a marine excursion, hearing mention made
of the two sea-birds, the Great Auk and the Little Auk,
inquired if the Little Auk was a Sparrow-' Awk.

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