Punch: Punch (75.1878)

November 23, 1878.]

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

239

JINGO'S DUE.

Ye friends of Peace, if sore tried, ne'er forget

How much we 're all of us in Jingo's debt.

As Mars the War-God, Jingo to invoke,

Just served to turn a war-whoop to a joke.

The name of Jingo sticks like pitch and tar,

To bellowers for battle with the Czar •

'Gainst ranting fire-eaters it raised a laugh,

And, in reply to fustian, won them chaff.

Who knows but Europe all in flames might be,

0 Jingo, at this moment, but for thee ?

What bloodshed we should rue, what broken bones,

Ships sunk, and sailors sent to Davey Jones,

Hadst thou not, Jingo, made war's howl absurd.

Macdermott, thanks for teaching us that word !

A Recommendation.

A MATTER OF COURSE.

Elderly Belle. "Now, can you guess my age, Major?'
Gallant Major. "No, I can't; but you don't look it!

The organs of the Osmanli have set forth their reasons
for accepting as trustworthy the evidence given before
the Rhoaope Commission of atrocities committed on the
Turks by the Russians in Eastern Roumelia, and their
virtuous indignation at the abominable humanitarians
who decline to take the truth of that evidence for granted.

The Spectator this week gives us reasons for rejecting
the same evidence as untrustworthy. This is eminently
a case in which all would be disposed to appeal to the
authority of a Spectator. Let our readers weigh the two
sets of reasons, and say which carries most weight to
their minds.

Complex Conundrum.

What is the difference between the "irresponsible
frivolity" of a stump speaker at Rhyl, and "the hair-
brained chatter " of a post-prandial orator at the Mansion
House P

Answer.—The first was "inebriated with the exuber-
ance of his own verbosity;" the second was "verbose
with the exuberance of his own inebriation."

Definitions for a Civic Dinner.

Rectification of Frontier.—Carrying out your garden-
wall over the adjoining premises, so as neatly to take in
a slip of your neighbour's land.

Scientific Frontier.—The more or less impregnable
margin to a territory got by well-considered annexation.
A Eence in defence of stolen goods.

words should be conclusive to all well-regulated minds. I don't
think so!

Having now disposed of the Czar and the Ameer, I have only to add,
incidentally, that I strongly disapprove of Gambetta, and cannot give
my unqualified approbation to Prince von Bismarck. It appears to
me, too, Mr. Bung, that a decided improvement might be made in
the Government of Japan. I am sure that Captain Buenaby would
do that country a service were he to take a ride in that direction.
Captain Burnaby is so fearless that we cannot say of him—

" Post equitem sedet atra cura ;"

and we can only wish him as complete a triumph, over the Cau-
cuses of the Black Country as the Black Sea. And now, Mr.
Bung, as we have to get through a great deal of business before
lunch, I will merely remind you that Britannia is the pride of the
ocean, the ruler of the waves, and the tutelary goddess of that
gallant body of Britons who never, never, under any consideration
whatever, will consent to submit to the chain of slavery.

Mr. Bung. Thank you, Sir, but how about my licence ?

The Chairman. Oh, I quite forgot to tell you, that as the police
have given in an unfavourable report of the management of your
tavern for" the last twelvemonths, we have decided to refuse the "Pig
and Whistle " its licence this year. Good morning.

[Mr. Bung removed in hysterics.

A Gnome for Beaconsfield.

(By a Philologist of the New School)

ol TrpoaKwovvrts tt]v 'ASpaareiav o~o<pol,

jEschylus Prom. Vinct. line 935.

" Wise are the worshippers of a ' masterly inactivity.' "

THE GUILDHALL ORACLE.

" Only Once a Year."

" Sovereign and Statesman," when at one, are all;

If House of Commons sing, let it sing small.

But with the Monarch, as a Monarch second

In my allegiance, King Mob may be reckoned.

How poor a leader is a "paragraph

Anonymous" !—mere verbiage, empty chaff,

To make both Sovereign and Statesman laugh.

Those who talk at us their own folly flatter,

Their reas'ning, in two words, is—" hairbrained chatter."

Pronounce all views, save mine, of foreign polity,

He Judice, " irresponsible frivolity."

There, you've as much as Cits' brains can remember

Of " sense and truth " for this Ninth of November.

Next Best Thing1.

General Garibaldi's Caprera quarries are to furnish the stone
for renewing the streets of the Eternal City, which, eternal as the
City is, will wear out.

Not having as yet succeeded in flooring the Church of Rome, the
General is fain to fall back on paving the City.

quite unnecessary.

Mr. Barran (one of the Members for Leeds) has, we learn from
the papers, been talking about the Afghan Difficulty. There has
been quite barren talk enough on that topic already.