Punch: Punch (75.1878)

August 3, 1878.]

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

39

Lord Salisbury did his best to parry an attack lie
could not answer. " Secret agreements are necessary
before going into Congresses, or these would come to no-
thing, or worse—to war. The despatch to Lord Odo
Russell was not a farce. All we were pledged to was
not to fight for the Balkans, or for Batoum. The de-
spatch to Lord Odo pointed out the line of argument,
which actually led Russia to concede the garrisoning of
the Balkan frontier by the Turk, and the conversion of
Batoum from a war-station to a commercial port. _ "We
did the best we could for Greece, in urging her to patience
first, and in keeping her fat out of the fire afterwards.

The Earl of Morley, the Marquis of Bath, and Lord
Hammond vied with each other in saying nasty things
of our part in the Berlin Treaty, and the Anglo-Turkish
Convention. In short, it is impossible to imagine "a
triumphant arrangement" more severely criticised. It
is difficult to imagine what worse the Commons can find
to say of it next week than the Lords did to-night. And
the Government can hardly hope to find a more effective
apologist in Sir Stafford Northcote or Mr. Cross, than
they have in Lord Salisbury. Bad is the best.

{Commons.)—Sir W. Harcourt baited the Attorney-
General with a whole pack of troublesome questions
about Cyprus. Lord R. Montagu made himself dis-
agreeable to Sir Stafford Northcote about the despatch
to Lord Odo. Mr. P. Taylor announced that he would
not divide the House again on the marriage allowance to
the Duke of Connaught, on which he would leave the
country to pronounce at the next General Election, a
prudent example which Mr. Macdonald declined to
follow, and then the House got into Committee on the
Cattle Bill.

The best part "of the Evening Sitting was spent in
debate on the interesting [subject of Caffre Polygamy,
which Mr. McArthur wants the British Legislature to
do away with. Parliament has more pressing business
than interfering between a man and his wives—parti-
cularly savage man.

Legal Japanning.

The Japanese Government has appointed an English
Barrister, Mr. Tarring2 as Professor of English Law
at the University of Tokio.

It would seem that the Japanese are already not
tarring, but tarred, with the brush of English Law ;
for we see the name of a Japanese graduate of Tokio
among the winners of Scholarships at the last examina-
tion of our own Council of Legal Education.

SOUVENIR DE WIMBLEDON.

Adjutant (going his rounds at night). " Put out those Lights !

[Out go the lights.

Adjutant. " Stop that Music ! " [Music goes on.

Adjutant (louder). "Stop that Music, I sat!"

Voice (from inside (he tent). "It's no good, Sir! It's a Musical Box, and
we can't stop it ! It will go on for Ten Minutes more ! "

ACROSS THE KEEP-IT-DARK CONTINENT;

OE, HOW I FOUND STANLEY.

(By the Author of " Coomupassie," and " Notamagdollar^ " My !

Phillaloo ! » #c.)

Part I.—Chapter VI.

Pursuit—Situation—Sang-froid—Sketching—Jeu de Mot—Spearing
— Umbrella—Gulf—':tJump, pretty creature, jump! —The
Effort—The Flop—Escape—Diary—Landed—Old Friend with
Neio Face—Chart—Guide—Plans for Future—Gratitude—
Sleep.

M'yionyu was in a perfect vapour-bath of fright—not a rain of
terror, but a steam of it, as he ran, puffing and blowing, towards the
edge of the cliff, while the savage yells of his pursuers could be
distinctly heard in the distance.

With my usual sangfroid, I pulled out my note-book, and began
jotting down a few musical ideas suggested by the situation, which
was both dramatic and sensational, though, of course, on the stage,
M'yionyu would have to be idealised into a fragile heroine.

" Fly for your life!" I cried, from my covered and comfortable
seat in Compartment 10 of the Arkadia, while still making my notes
and sketching the scene (for the Illustrated, or Graphic—it didn't
matter to me which—or both) on the block that I always carry with
me for such emergencies as this.

" I can't fly! " his voice came back, piteously.

" Then, run!" we sensibly suggested.

"I am running!" he shrieked, breathlessly. "But they're
trying to spear me, and I haven't wind enough to get away! Do
stop! "

' Bum Spiro Spear-o ! " I called out to him, cheerily, as I gave

the last finishing touch to my graphic sketch; for even at this
supreme moment my spontaneous humour overcame every other
consideration—and, by the way, I really believe that the very best
bons mots I've ever made, have all been uttered under some great
pressure of immediate danger.

M'yionyu, however, is not of my calibre, and did not relish the
joke.

In another second the spears, flying like light'ning, were abso-
lutely dark'ning the air. I made this joke about " ligMning " and
" dark'ning " for theirs?! time on this occasion, just as old M'yionyu
dodged to avoid a spear that was aimed at his head ; but the move-
ment was not of so complicated a character as to enable him to
avoid a second spear, whose aim had not been at the same eleva-
tion, and he gave a bound that would have made his fortune as a
ballet-dancer, at the same time giving vent to so clear and high a
note, as would have secured him an engagement as first tenor at any
Opera-house in the world.

" How often," I reflected, " does mere accident evoke our natural
but unsuspected capabilities! " In M'yionyu's case it was his
ca£>er-bilities that were chiefly brought into prominence, though the
impetus of a spear showed that he had only to be taught to produce
his voice to make him a second Mario, or a Tamberlik Junior.

M'yionyu finding the number of spears increasing,—for the savages
were really treating him as if he were an Aunt Sally at a penny a
shy, with some reduction made on taking a quantity,—put up his
umbrella, but this only impeded his movements.

" Don't go without me ! " he roared.

"Whether we should be able to comply with his request, or not,
rested, as I pointed out to him, from my seat in the boat,—entirely
with himself.

He was nearing the edge of the cliff, about fifty feet above the
deep pond where we were afloat, which formed the opening to the