DOI issue:
August 3, 1878
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17733#0049
August 3, 1878.]
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVAEI.
45
SPECULATION ON CYPRUS.
a mong the disadvantages
/\ objected to Cyprus is
/ \ its want of a natural
/ \ harbour. This defect
/ \ should be promptly
I \ remedied by the erec-
/ ^ tion of a factitious
^.v*__^-- harbour. Everything
/ *s P0SS1kle 1° British
/ xy~~~Sllsk li lull!' i enterprise and capital,
z^^,/ , / ', But the powers of the
.^^tBllN^iIlM ^^^^Wlflj1!'I most enterprising
^^'^^'iwA British _ Government
-Cms- '\M\mll}f^'%^^^^^W^'/ are limited by con-
Jill , ipiM* MjffljRwpS^^^ii siderations of supply.
wmi'i-'.^Ml ^''WmLniw^P^^-.^M^^ The House of Com-
tMmmm 'Ir^alffl^ * li|pf^ mons, even -with, its
<^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^l^ ' iffl^^ Ministerial majority,
tJ*^- tional income-tax
^^-^ harbour for Cyprus.
As that would be a
work of such magnitude that it could be accomplished only by the
agency of a Joint Stock Association, the constitution of such a body,
with command of the requisite resources, is contemplated already.
A Prospectus will be published in due time, under the title of
the "Cyprus Harbour Company (Limited)." That statement will
be headed with a list of Directors, including the most eminent
names in the commercial world, and a due proportion of well-
known Members of Parliament, and distinguished Officers in the
Army and Navy. It will embody a glowing account of all the par-
ticulars requisite to demonstrate the safety of the investment. Its
promoters will look up in the Court Guide, the Post Office Direc-
tory, the Law List, the Medical, Clerical, and aU the like Catalogues,
the names of persons likely to be in possession of small savings, for
which they would be glad of the highest possible interest, who will
be duly provided, in the Prospectus sent them, with neat and handy
forms of application for shares. By this device will be obtained
subscriptions, expected to go some way to complete the advertised
paid-up capital of three hundred millions.
The Cyprus Harbour Company (Limited)," will be started im-
mediately on the revival of commercial prosperity confidently
anticipated to result from the Treaty of Berlin. The Directors will
be utterly incapable of attracting shareholders by concealment or
fallacious representation of the Company's prospects. None who
invest their cash in reliance upon) the Company's Prospectus, need
fear to find in a few months that the concern has been wound up,
and that its promoters have absconded with the money.
PICK'S POCKET PICKED.
It is, or used to be, a maxim of Law that there is no wrong with-
out a remedy. What remedy, then, has Mrs. Pick, a lady committed
for trial at the Sessions on a charge of picking pockets, by a magis-
trate whose decision was apparently determined by a purblind eye
to a pun ? Eor the Bill against Mrs. Pick was thrown out by the
Grand Jury, and a thorough investigation of the case has since
proved the accusation utterly groundless and false. And what
remedy has Dr. Pick, Mrs. Pick's husband, for having had to find
£1000 bail for his wife, and pay about £240 law expenses in her
defence ? None whatever, it seems, except such as may be obtained
for them by a Committee, headed by the Earl of Shaftesbury, the
Countess of Russell, and Miss Florence Nightingale, who "have
taken the matter up, and now appeal to the public to express their
sense of injustice by subscribing to a testimonial." But ought
injustice of this kind to be left to be redressed by voluntary sub-
scription ? Have not the victims of false accusation a rightful claim
on the public for damages to the amount of the pecuniary loss to
which they have been wrongfully subjected in the public interest by
stupidity or error in the administration of justice ? As the case
stands, it is not that Mrs. Pick unlawfully picked anybody's pocket,
but that Dr. Pick's pocket has been picked by the Law.
A Cheap Pony.
We are all familiar with learned pigs, but the following, from the
Manchester Evening News of the 24th inst., suggests a new accom-
plishment, not in a pig, but in a pony :—
lONY WANTED, 11 or 12 hands, suitable for collecting rents :
about £6 ; also a Trap and Harness for same.
P
THROWING THE SHOE.
The Indian Troops, their European mission accomplished, are
transferred to Cyprus, whence they will probably, in due time, be
re-shipped to India. Mr. Punch has not yet heard whether Her
Majesty's Government contemplate the commemoration of their
Visit to the West by the erection of a monolith on Primrose Hill, the
Goodwin Sands, or some other appropriate site. If they do, he is
very happy to put the following inscription at their service :—
THIS IS TO COMMEMORATE
the importation into Europe
of a Portion of Her Majesty's Indian Forces.
Arriving quite unexpectedly,
to the immense surprise of Sir Stafford Noethcote,
one morning at Malta,
by the direction of a Genius
who regarded the effect produced by their Uniforms
rather than the amount claimed for their Travelling Expenses.
They afforded to" the Weeklv Illustrated Papers
material for a Series of Admirable Sketches,
and cost the Country
Three Quarters of a Million !
Violating unconsciously by their advent
the bill of rights,
and so earning, for all time, the genial gratitude
of Mr. Gladstone.
They were not paraded at Wormwood Scrubbs,
or utilised for sentry-duty in St. James's Street,
thus escaping a Shilling Ovation at the Crystal Palace,
and possibly
an acquaintance with other new and not less startling features
of Western Civilisation.
They obliged H.R.H. the Duke of Cambridge
to encounter the Mediterranean in rough weather,
and to admit,
in a subsequent Despatch
that their bearing was striking and soldierly.
SO, having more than fulfilled
the Expectations of those who imported them,
and who, after having transferred them to Cyprus,
found themselves considerably embarrassed
what next to do with them,
they were re-shipped, quietly and unobtrusively,
to the general Mystification of Europe,
for the Land of their Birth ;
Whence,
though they have merited the Admiration of Some,
and the Respect of Many,
and have left behind them
An Election Cry to All,
it is to be hoped they will never again visit
the Western Dominions of their Imperial Mistress,
who, through the mouth of Punch,
gladly bids them Adieu !
not Au Re voir !
A CASE FOR A COMPOSER.
The plot of Bellini's most popular Opera might, perhaps, have
been modified had the librettist been acquainted with this interesting
case related in a local paper :—
"An extraordinary case of somnambulism is reported from Headley. A
young woman of the neighbourhood got up in her sleep on Sunday night, and,
taking a carving knife from the kitchen, went to the fowl-house, where she
cut off the heads of six fine cocks, and fourteen hens. She afterwards killed
five choice rabbits, and concluded her somnambulant proceedings by mortally
stabbing a favourite donkey."
These deeds of a sleepwalker seem suggestive of graver incidents,
which, dramatised, and set to music, might have formed a La Son-
nambula of an intensely tragic character. The final catastrophe
.of the piece is obviously figured in the heroine's concluding act;>
of "mortally stabbing a favourite donkey." The analogue_ of
that cherished animal would, of course, have been a hapless Elvino,
fated to fall by the hand of his somnabulic sweetheart.
after reading the debate on the vernacular press act.
" Of gagging Acts I, too," quoth Toole, " may brag;
The best part of my Acts is always gag ! "
Mrs. Tait's Lawn Party.—The Bishops' gathering at Lambeth.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVAEI.
45
SPECULATION ON CYPRUS.
a mong the disadvantages
/\ objected to Cyprus is
/ \ its want of a natural
/ \ harbour. This defect
/ \ should be promptly
I \ remedied by the erec-
/ ^ tion of a factitious
^.v*__^-- harbour. Everything
/ *s P0SS1kle 1° British
/ xy~~~Sllsk li lull!' i enterprise and capital,
z^^,/ , / ', But the powers of the
.^^tBllN^iIlM ^^^^Wlflj1!'I most enterprising
^^'^^'iwA British _ Government
-Cms- '\M\mll}f^'%^^^^^W^'/ are limited by con-
Jill , ipiM* MjffljRwpS^^^ii siderations of supply.
wmi'i-'.^Ml ^''WmLniw^P^^-.^M^^ The House of Com-
tMmmm 'Ir^alffl^ * li|pf^ mons, even -with, its
<^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^l^ ' iffl^^ Ministerial majority,
tJ*^- tional income-tax
^^-^ harbour for Cyprus.
As that would be a
work of such magnitude that it could be accomplished only by the
agency of a Joint Stock Association, the constitution of such a body,
with command of the requisite resources, is contemplated already.
A Prospectus will be published in due time, under the title of
the "Cyprus Harbour Company (Limited)." That statement will
be headed with a list of Directors, including the most eminent
names in the commercial world, and a due proportion of well-
known Members of Parliament, and distinguished Officers in the
Army and Navy. It will embody a glowing account of all the par-
ticulars requisite to demonstrate the safety of the investment. Its
promoters will look up in the Court Guide, the Post Office Direc-
tory, the Law List, the Medical, Clerical, and aU the like Catalogues,
the names of persons likely to be in possession of small savings, for
which they would be glad of the highest possible interest, who will
be duly provided, in the Prospectus sent them, with neat and handy
forms of application for shares. By this device will be obtained
subscriptions, expected to go some way to complete the advertised
paid-up capital of three hundred millions.
The Cyprus Harbour Company (Limited)," will be started im-
mediately on the revival of commercial prosperity confidently
anticipated to result from the Treaty of Berlin. The Directors will
be utterly incapable of attracting shareholders by concealment or
fallacious representation of the Company's prospects. None who
invest their cash in reliance upon) the Company's Prospectus, need
fear to find in a few months that the concern has been wound up,
and that its promoters have absconded with the money.
PICK'S POCKET PICKED.
It is, or used to be, a maxim of Law that there is no wrong with-
out a remedy. What remedy, then, has Mrs. Pick, a lady committed
for trial at the Sessions on a charge of picking pockets, by a magis-
trate whose decision was apparently determined by a purblind eye
to a pun ? Eor the Bill against Mrs. Pick was thrown out by the
Grand Jury, and a thorough investigation of the case has since
proved the accusation utterly groundless and false. And what
remedy has Dr. Pick, Mrs. Pick's husband, for having had to find
£1000 bail for his wife, and pay about £240 law expenses in her
defence ? None whatever, it seems, except such as may be obtained
for them by a Committee, headed by the Earl of Shaftesbury, the
Countess of Russell, and Miss Florence Nightingale, who "have
taken the matter up, and now appeal to the public to express their
sense of injustice by subscribing to a testimonial." But ought
injustice of this kind to be left to be redressed by voluntary sub-
scription ? Have not the victims of false accusation a rightful claim
on the public for damages to the amount of the pecuniary loss to
which they have been wrongfully subjected in the public interest by
stupidity or error in the administration of justice ? As the case
stands, it is not that Mrs. Pick unlawfully picked anybody's pocket,
but that Dr. Pick's pocket has been picked by the Law.
A Cheap Pony.
We are all familiar with learned pigs, but the following, from the
Manchester Evening News of the 24th inst., suggests a new accom-
plishment, not in a pig, but in a pony :—
lONY WANTED, 11 or 12 hands, suitable for collecting rents :
about £6 ; also a Trap and Harness for same.
P
THROWING THE SHOE.
The Indian Troops, their European mission accomplished, are
transferred to Cyprus, whence they will probably, in due time, be
re-shipped to India. Mr. Punch has not yet heard whether Her
Majesty's Government contemplate the commemoration of their
Visit to the West by the erection of a monolith on Primrose Hill, the
Goodwin Sands, or some other appropriate site. If they do, he is
very happy to put the following inscription at their service :—
THIS IS TO COMMEMORATE
the importation into Europe
of a Portion of Her Majesty's Indian Forces.
Arriving quite unexpectedly,
to the immense surprise of Sir Stafford Noethcote,
one morning at Malta,
by the direction of a Genius
who regarded the effect produced by their Uniforms
rather than the amount claimed for their Travelling Expenses.
They afforded to" the Weeklv Illustrated Papers
material for a Series of Admirable Sketches,
and cost the Country
Three Quarters of a Million !
Violating unconsciously by their advent
the bill of rights,
and so earning, for all time, the genial gratitude
of Mr. Gladstone.
They were not paraded at Wormwood Scrubbs,
or utilised for sentry-duty in St. James's Street,
thus escaping a Shilling Ovation at the Crystal Palace,
and possibly
an acquaintance with other new and not less startling features
of Western Civilisation.
They obliged H.R.H. the Duke of Cambridge
to encounter the Mediterranean in rough weather,
and to admit,
in a subsequent Despatch
that their bearing was striking and soldierly.
SO, having more than fulfilled
the Expectations of those who imported them,
and who, after having transferred them to Cyprus,
found themselves considerably embarrassed
what next to do with them,
they were re-shipped, quietly and unobtrusively,
to the general Mystification of Europe,
for the Land of their Birth ;
Whence,
though they have merited the Admiration of Some,
and the Respect of Many,
and have left behind them
An Election Cry to All,
it is to be hoped they will never again visit
the Western Dominions of their Imperial Mistress,
who, through the mouth of Punch,
gladly bids them Adieu !
not Au Re voir !
A CASE FOR A COMPOSER.
The plot of Bellini's most popular Opera might, perhaps, have
been modified had the librettist been acquainted with this interesting
case related in a local paper :—
"An extraordinary case of somnambulism is reported from Headley. A
young woman of the neighbourhood got up in her sleep on Sunday night, and,
taking a carving knife from the kitchen, went to the fowl-house, where she
cut off the heads of six fine cocks, and fourteen hens. She afterwards killed
five choice rabbits, and concluded her somnambulant proceedings by mortally
stabbing a favourite donkey."
These deeds of a sleepwalker seem suggestive of graver incidents,
which, dramatised, and set to music, might have formed a La Son-
nambula of an intensely tragic character. The final catastrophe
.of the piece is obviously figured in the heroine's concluding act;>
of "mortally stabbing a favourite donkey." The analogue_ of
that cherished animal would, of course, have been a hapless Elvino,
fated to fall by the hand of his somnabulic sweetheart.
after reading the debate on the vernacular press act.
" Of gagging Acts I, too," quoth Toole, " may brag;
The best part of my Acts is always gag ! "
Mrs. Tait's Lawn Party.—The Bishops' gathering at Lambeth.