DOI Heft:
August 31, 1878
DOI Seite / Zitierlink:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17733#0092
88
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[August 31, 1878.
ACROSS THE KEEP-IT-DARK CONTINENT;
OR, HOW I FOUND STANLEY.
{By the Author of " Coomicpassie," ami m Notamagdollar" " My!
Phillaloo ! " &c.)
Part II.—Chapter X. and Last.
Old Guide—New One—Kumkum—Gogo—Tidli—Winki—On Again
—Ma ps—Difficulties —Names —Elasticity — Marvellous— Won-
derful— Company—Rhigatturs—Reverends—Stra?ige—An In-
terview—A Discussion—Dryness—Shi/ness—Sli/ness— Where is
Stanley ?—The Note—The New Tribe—Black Mail—Mislaid
Letter—Back Again—Accounts—-Retrospect—Dispersion—As-
persion—Difficulties to the last—Final Tableau—End of the
Expedition.
OtJR Guide up to this time had "been, the honest and worthy native
Winki. He had joined us at Kurakuni, but left us at Grogo. Here
he introduced his young brother, Tidli Winei, who, he informed
us, would supply his place. At first I thought they must be twins,
as Tidli was so like Winki.
This morning we arrived at the Great Rhigattur Country. The
rivers here are wonderful. The district is mainly inhabited by the
various Teeto Talla tribes, who live entirely on the water.
The 11 higattvrs include all the different races on the numerous
water-courses. The sources of the rivers can be seen from the
mountains ; and though, being as they are, so beautiful, I had
scarcely the heart to call them names, yet I felt bound to include
them on my new maps (sixpence, plain; and a shilling, coloured;
and eighteenpence for the larger size, with more places in it), under
such titles as would at once remind the future traveller of the old
home, and the new Continent, while giving him an extra relish for his
enjoyment, viz., the source on my left, I called The Fresh Elizabeth
Lazenby; the one before me, The New Reading; the one on my
riglvt, The New Club ; a grand source, to the south, I christened
The Improved Worcester, and so on. I made McSaiuggins undo the
labels j -while the Printer's Boy, who had wanted to desert, and
sneak off, but had been watched by M'i'iontu the Detective, was
ordered to cut a few sticks—his own not included—to be placed at
different points, with the labels affixed.
The sources and re-sources of this Dark Continent are, I have
no hesitation in saying it, something fabulous! Where are the
enterprising people, who will at once start a Dark Continent Com-
pany, with me for the Manager ? Here as I sit on the top of one
of the highest mountains, I meditate on the elasticity of the country,
which I see actually stretching away before me for hundreds of
miles. There it is, stretching and growing, like a young baby of a
country, as it is.
As to the _ mines—close to the rivers—they are absolutely over-
loded ; and in the streams themselves you absolutely see the shining
ore on the surface. But I must be silent. Be still, my heart, until
I can form a Company.
These simple people have, at some time or other, imbibed a sort
of notion of Christianity; that is, from whatT can gather, Chris-
tianity as connected with the division of tribes into parishes. I
fancy that in very early days,—the days of the very early bird, I
mean,—a Dutch missionary trader went astray [here, lost on the
coast, with a cargo of Dutch metal. He was. I imagine, from their
hazy traditions, a Baptist, accompanied by his wife, Anna, Baptist,
The tribes are divided by the rivers into parishes, called Water-
kures, under charge of a sort of Reverend Overseer, called a
Waterkurit. The one thing remarkable in their legends is the
absence of all that is beneficent in the supernatural.
The Teeto _ Totalla tribes do not believe in the existence of any
but bad spirits. Yet they are superstitious, and believe firmly in
the efficacy of philtres—but they are all water philtres—and each
stream has its own charms for those who visit it,
The men of the Rhigattur tribe—including their Reverend Water-
kurits—are much addicted to spells on the river.
"And," I asked of their Chief Splashur—a sort of Episcopus in
partibus aquarum, or 'Bishop of Bath and Wells,' which is much
the same thing—as we sat after our quiet rubber, which succeeded
an evening bathe, and, as he was always losing, considerably, re-
stored my circulation, just then getting rather low, "do you not
believe m The Immeasurable Good ? "
He shook his head gravely—he has a large head, as have most
of these Teeto Tallas, owing, I fancy, to the constant water on the
brain—as their heads are full of it—and, after assuming his Dis-
cussion Cap, replied,
" No ; not in The Immeasurable Good: but we fully believe in the
Immense Well."
I was beginning to feel rather dry. Theological argument gene-
rally has that effect on me ; in fact, as a rule, I never commence
it until the third bottle after dinner. Besides, I wanted to convert
him. How much this poor man lost through his utter ignorance of
the supernatural!—not the bad in the supernatural world, but the
Good Spirits, the pure Spirits, which will do no mortal any harm !
" But," I went on, 1 • do you absolutely disbelieve in the existence
of spirits in this country."
" There are none," he replied.
" Then," I remarked slily, some one ' does ' your duties."
"No," he replied simply, "what duties there are for me to do, I
do myself. As a matter of fact there are none to do."
I didn't believe him, the old rascal, for his nose was as red as a
glowing coal. However, I was in a hurry to be off out of such an
anomalous country—a dry country full of water—and so I said,
"Well, your Reverence, you'll just square up for that last
rubber "—it had been double dummy—" and I'm off."
He couldn't. He oughtn't to have played. I knew it, and
threatened to expose him. He implored for mercy, as exposure
would ruin himself and family. "Would I," he asked, "take it
out in water ? " I reflected. I fancied I saw what he meant by the
twinkle of his old eye. I looked him full in the face, and said with
intention,
" I will take it out in water, and I will take it in in water, and if
you '11 only give me sufficient, I will promise to leave the country at
once, and not say a word to a soul on the subject."
He put his finger to his nose.
" I believe," he said, " in the existence of bad spirits ; but there is
also the Great Water Spirit, who is good and generous, and who is
only known to a very few here; you understand, jolly companions,
every one! "
" Exactly so," I returned, capping his quotation, " and we won't
go home till morning. I 'in fly."
He took me to his Water-Kurasee, and showed me in a secret cave
some water-kuraso, the knowledge of whose existence is confined
entirely to the superior clergy. After bargaining with him for a
couple of bottles, he then showed me into another cellar which he
said was the abode of the Good Water Spirit, Odevee.
" Good, ain't it ? " he asked, as I sipped it,
" Superb," I replied, handing my glass to be refilled. "Odevee
for ever! "
We drank each other's health. We toasted " absent friends, and
long might they be so ! "
"This is jolly," said the,Arch-Waterkurit, tossing off his fifth
glass.
"Very," I replied, keeping pace with his movements, " and so
quiet! Not a sonl to disturb ns."
I had just gone on to a fresh tap, when, from behind a cask, stepped
forward a figure, bottle in hand, and at first quite unrecognisable by
his best friends, being so completely disguised in liquor.
Recovering my self-possession, and uncovering in the presence of
a visitor, I took off my hat and said as distinctly as I could, my
accent having become affected by the constant use of outlandish
languages, " Mishter Shtanley, I pr'shume."
The man staggered forward. It was M'yionyu the Detective.
{Private Diary. I have made up my mind to get rid of M'yionyu on
the first opportunity. I took him as a detective on purpose to find
out Stanley or anybody else, and he is always detecting me. ^re-
monstrated with him this morning, but he says he can't help it; it's
in him, and that's how he makes his money. He got a good round
sum out of the Arch-Waterkurit, of whom he threatened _ to tell,
calling as witnesses myself and McSjiuggins, who,_ as a Ventriloquist,
can always command several voices, and we, in the interests of
morality, 'backed him up, and then when the Arch-Waterkurit paid
over the coin, and surrendered several bottles of Odevee on con-
dition of our secresy and leaving the country at once, Old M'yionyu
wouldn't divide until he said " we had got well away." Now he has
got well away, and I can't find him anywhere. The Ventriloquist
is still with me. Also the Printer's Boy. We daren'tngo back to the
Rhigattur Country as the Arch-Waterkurit, and all his officials
have been preaching against us, and the people are tremendously
incensed—though this, I believe, is an ordinary portion of the
religious rites.)
I haven't made much by this journey. Wish I could come up
with Stanley.
I should have gone on with it myself, but that I was preparing A
paper for the British Ass-Sociation, to be read when called for. It is
" A Note on a Perspiring Tribe slowly melting away nnder a Tropical
Sun on the Sterio Skoppico frontier." The people of this tribe are
known as Fotos. There are bad Fotos, good Fotos, and indifferent
Fotos—human nature being pretty much alike everywhere. Their
creed is divided into Positivism and Negativism. I am generally
opposed to anything resembling the Slave Trade, but as I was not
allowed to take a Foto, without paying for the privilege, 1 bought
one. Life is valueless among these strange people, and often in a
morning's walk have I seen as many as a hundred Fotos hung up m
a public place. . .
I am informed that their views of marriage are _ superstitious m
the extreme ; one of the parents giving her consent with reluctance, as
the sacrifice of a mother-in-law is considered an act of heroic virtue.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[August 31, 1878.
ACROSS THE KEEP-IT-DARK CONTINENT;
OR, HOW I FOUND STANLEY.
{By the Author of " Coomicpassie," ami m Notamagdollar" " My!
Phillaloo ! " &c.)
Part II.—Chapter X. and Last.
Old Guide—New One—Kumkum—Gogo—Tidli—Winki—On Again
—Ma ps—Difficulties —Names —Elasticity — Marvellous— Won-
derful— Company—Rhigatturs—Reverends—Stra?ige—An In-
terview—A Discussion—Dryness—Shi/ness—Sli/ness— Where is
Stanley ?—The Note—The New Tribe—Black Mail—Mislaid
Letter—Back Again—Accounts—-Retrospect—Dispersion—As-
persion—Difficulties to the last—Final Tableau—End of the
Expedition.
OtJR Guide up to this time had "been, the honest and worthy native
Winki. He had joined us at Kurakuni, but left us at Grogo. Here
he introduced his young brother, Tidli Winei, who, he informed
us, would supply his place. At first I thought they must be twins,
as Tidli was so like Winki.
This morning we arrived at the Great Rhigattur Country. The
rivers here are wonderful. The district is mainly inhabited by the
various Teeto Talla tribes, who live entirely on the water.
The 11 higattvrs include all the different races on the numerous
water-courses. The sources of the rivers can be seen from the
mountains ; and though, being as they are, so beautiful, I had
scarcely the heart to call them names, yet I felt bound to include
them on my new maps (sixpence, plain; and a shilling, coloured;
and eighteenpence for the larger size, with more places in it), under
such titles as would at once remind the future traveller of the old
home, and the new Continent, while giving him an extra relish for his
enjoyment, viz., the source on my left, I called The Fresh Elizabeth
Lazenby; the one before me, The New Reading; the one on my
riglvt, The New Club ; a grand source, to the south, I christened
The Improved Worcester, and so on. I made McSaiuggins undo the
labels j -while the Printer's Boy, who had wanted to desert, and
sneak off, but had been watched by M'i'iontu the Detective, was
ordered to cut a few sticks—his own not included—to be placed at
different points, with the labels affixed.
The sources and re-sources of this Dark Continent are, I have
no hesitation in saying it, something fabulous! Where are the
enterprising people, who will at once start a Dark Continent Com-
pany, with me for the Manager ? Here as I sit on the top of one
of the highest mountains, I meditate on the elasticity of the country,
which I see actually stretching away before me for hundreds of
miles. There it is, stretching and growing, like a young baby of a
country, as it is.
As to the _ mines—close to the rivers—they are absolutely over-
loded ; and in the streams themselves you absolutely see the shining
ore on the surface. But I must be silent. Be still, my heart, until
I can form a Company.
These simple people have, at some time or other, imbibed a sort
of notion of Christianity; that is, from whatT can gather, Chris-
tianity as connected with the division of tribes into parishes. I
fancy that in very early days,—the days of the very early bird, I
mean,—a Dutch missionary trader went astray [here, lost on the
coast, with a cargo of Dutch metal. He was. I imagine, from their
hazy traditions, a Baptist, accompanied by his wife, Anna, Baptist,
The tribes are divided by the rivers into parishes, called Water-
kures, under charge of a sort of Reverend Overseer, called a
Waterkurit. The one thing remarkable in their legends is the
absence of all that is beneficent in the supernatural.
The Teeto _ Totalla tribes do not believe in the existence of any
but bad spirits. Yet they are superstitious, and believe firmly in
the efficacy of philtres—but they are all water philtres—and each
stream has its own charms for those who visit it,
The men of the Rhigattur tribe—including their Reverend Water-
kurits—are much addicted to spells on the river.
"And," I asked of their Chief Splashur—a sort of Episcopus in
partibus aquarum, or 'Bishop of Bath and Wells,' which is much
the same thing—as we sat after our quiet rubber, which succeeded
an evening bathe, and, as he was always losing, considerably, re-
stored my circulation, just then getting rather low, "do you not
believe m The Immeasurable Good ? "
He shook his head gravely—he has a large head, as have most
of these Teeto Tallas, owing, I fancy, to the constant water on the
brain—as their heads are full of it—and, after assuming his Dis-
cussion Cap, replied,
" No ; not in The Immeasurable Good: but we fully believe in the
Immense Well."
I was beginning to feel rather dry. Theological argument gene-
rally has that effect on me ; in fact, as a rule, I never commence
it until the third bottle after dinner. Besides, I wanted to convert
him. How much this poor man lost through his utter ignorance of
the supernatural!—not the bad in the supernatural world, but the
Good Spirits, the pure Spirits, which will do no mortal any harm !
" But," I went on, 1 • do you absolutely disbelieve in the existence
of spirits in this country."
" There are none," he replied.
" Then," I remarked slily, some one ' does ' your duties."
"No," he replied simply, "what duties there are for me to do, I
do myself. As a matter of fact there are none to do."
I didn't believe him, the old rascal, for his nose was as red as a
glowing coal. However, I was in a hurry to be off out of such an
anomalous country—a dry country full of water—and so I said,
"Well, your Reverence, you'll just square up for that last
rubber "—it had been double dummy—" and I'm off."
He couldn't. He oughtn't to have played. I knew it, and
threatened to expose him. He implored for mercy, as exposure
would ruin himself and family. "Would I," he asked, "take it
out in water ? " I reflected. I fancied I saw what he meant by the
twinkle of his old eye. I looked him full in the face, and said with
intention,
" I will take it out in water, and I will take it in in water, and if
you '11 only give me sufficient, I will promise to leave the country at
once, and not say a word to a soul on the subject."
He put his finger to his nose.
" I believe," he said, " in the existence of bad spirits ; but there is
also the Great Water Spirit, who is good and generous, and who is
only known to a very few here; you understand, jolly companions,
every one! "
" Exactly so," I returned, capping his quotation, " and we won't
go home till morning. I 'in fly."
He took me to his Water-Kurasee, and showed me in a secret cave
some water-kuraso, the knowledge of whose existence is confined
entirely to the superior clergy. After bargaining with him for a
couple of bottles, he then showed me into another cellar which he
said was the abode of the Good Water Spirit, Odevee.
" Good, ain't it ? " he asked, as I sipped it,
" Superb," I replied, handing my glass to be refilled. "Odevee
for ever! "
We drank each other's health. We toasted " absent friends, and
long might they be so ! "
"This is jolly," said the,Arch-Waterkurit, tossing off his fifth
glass.
"Very," I replied, keeping pace with his movements, " and so
quiet! Not a sonl to disturb ns."
I had just gone on to a fresh tap, when, from behind a cask, stepped
forward a figure, bottle in hand, and at first quite unrecognisable by
his best friends, being so completely disguised in liquor.
Recovering my self-possession, and uncovering in the presence of
a visitor, I took off my hat and said as distinctly as I could, my
accent having become affected by the constant use of outlandish
languages, " Mishter Shtanley, I pr'shume."
The man staggered forward. It was M'yionyu the Detective.
{Private Diary. I have made up my mind to get rid of M'yionyu on
the first opportunity. I took him as a detective on purpose to find
out Stanley or anybody else, and he is always detecting me. ^re-
monstrated with him this morning, but he says he can't help it; it's
in him, and that's how he makes his money. He got a good round
sum out of the Arch-Waterkurit, of whom he threatened _ to tell,
calling as witnesses myself and McSjiuggins, who,_ as a Ventriloquist,
can always command several voices, and we, in the interests of
morality, 'backed him up, and then when the Arch-Waterkurit paid
over the coin, and surrendered several bottles of Odevee on con-
dition of our secresy and leaving the country at once, Old M'yionyu
wouldn't divide until he said " we had got well away." Now he has
got well away, and I can't find him anywhere. The Ventriloquist
is still with me. Also the Printer's Boy. We daren'tngo back to the
Rhigattur Country as the Arch-Waterkurit, and all his officials
have been preaching against us, and the people are tremendously
incensed—though this, I believe, is an ordinary portion of the
religious rites.)
I haven't made much by this journey. Wish I could come up
with Stanley.
I should have gone on with it myself, but that I was preparing A
paper for the British Ass-Sociation, to be read when called for. It is
" A Note on a Perspiring Tribe slowly melting away nnder a Tropical
Sun on the Sterio Skoppico frontier." The people of this tribe are
known as Fotos. There are bad Fotos, good Fotos, and indifferent
Fotos—human nature being pretty much alike everywhere. Their
creed is divided into Positivism and Negativism. I am generally
opposed to anything resembling the Slave Trade, but as I was not
allowed to take a Foto, without paying for the privilege, 1 bought
one. Life is valueless among these strange people, and often in a
morning's walk have I seen as many as a hundred Fotos hung up m
a public place. . .
I am informed that their views of marriage are _ superstitious m
the extreme ; one of the parents giving her consent with reluctance, as
the sacrifice of a mother-in-law is considered an act of heroic virtue.