PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [September 21, 1878.
THE RISE AND FALL OF THE JACK SPRATTS.
Art and Fashion.
Part III.
Mrs. Spratt had not only learnt how to dress fashionably,
and to laugh at the peculiarities of old and trusty friends,
and to use vulgar, modern, slang expressions that would
have made the fastidious Chaucer turn in his grave ; but
she had also learnt how to get rid of that unconsciorisness,
which had once been as a sweet frame to her beauty, and
which had so nobly stood the test of those little round
mirrors in her husband's studio.
(Have our Lady readers ever contemplated themselves in
one of these ?)
During the early days of her married life, she had often
sat by her husband in the National Gallery, reading aloud
to him, as he copied those singularly seductive types of
female loveliness which the early Italian Masters have
made so especially their own; and she had shared in his
enthusiasm for them, and had often blamed herself for being
so utterly unlike.
There had been one picture in particular, the " Martyr-
dom of Cupid," by Ltjca Signorelli, in which Cupid him-
self, and the nymphs who persecute him are of a beauty
so overpowering that J. Spratt and the trusty friends
would always feel faint, and weak in their backs and legs,
through sheer excess of sensuous pleasure when they gazed
at it; and varied as those nymphs were in form, hue, and
feature, she could not claim the remotest resemblance to
any single nymph amongst them, not even when she tried
in a little round mirror.
Jack Spratt himself, who had fallen in love, courted and
married before he had ever seen an old picture, could not
but also feel at times that his wife was not quite such as
the early Italian Masters would have chosen for a model;
and he had been confirmed in this impression by the careless
remarks of his trusty friends, who had not yet gotten them-
selves wives of their own (and who, although they would
speak of each other's faces as "beautiful," "lovely,"
"divine," and so forth, were extremely fastidious in the
matter of modern female beauty).
This disenchantment had been the one slight drawback to
a happiness nearly perfect; but he had always been too
much of a Gentleman to reproach his wife with her physical
shortcomings; and had found both his consolation and his
reward in her gentleness, her gratitude, her admiration for
his genius, and her complete devotion to himself.
Moreover, although he could not alter her form, features,
and complexion, he had endeavoured to teach her most of
the early Italian attitudes, and she had proved a docile and
intelligent pupil.
But now all this was changed; for wherever she went
she was greeted with an admiration sufficient to turn an older
and wiser head than hers; Dukes, Bishops, Generals, Ad-
mirals, even Right Honourables vied with each other in
paying pretty compliments to the pretty Mrs. Spratt ; so
that she grew somewhat vain, and almost seemed at times
as though she were half inclined to give herself airs ; for in-
stance, she would innocently blurt out before the wives and
daughters of these great dignitaries (especially if they hap-
pened to be rather plain) that she would sooner be dead than
not be beautiful, and the wives and daughters did not
always relish these egotistical bursts of confidence.
Then there were the Royal Academicians, who also vied
with each other in spoiling her; the painters painted her,
one and all; and the sculptors sculpted, and the engravers
engraved ; while the cantankerous architects looked on with
smothered envy ; and gay young Associates, fellows of infi-
nite jest, enlivened the sittings with inimitable song, dance,
and story.
Not content with painting her, one famous artist, pos-
sessed of wide and varied information, and quite an authority
in such matters, solemnly stated that so beautiful a woman as
Mrs. John Spratt had not been seen for four hundred years !
It requires less than this to make a pretty woman The
Fashion—which Mrs. Spratt immediately became.
So that even that lily of lilies, born of the foam of the sea,
wafted hither from the Channel Isles by soft propitious
Avinds, immortalised by Millais and Poynter, and en-
shrined for ever (along with a good many others) in the con-
stant but capacious heart of Mr. Punch, was fain to abdicate
from her throne in favour of that rose of roses, Mrs. Jack
Spratt ; and, to her inexpressible relief, was permitted once
more to mingle with the gay and fashionable throng with-
out .attracting more notice than any other handsome and well-
THE RISE AND FALL OF THE JACK SPRATTS.
Art and Fashion.
Part III.
Mrs. Spratt had not only learnt how to dress fashionably,
and to laugh at the peculiarities of old and trusty friends,
and to use vulgar, modern, slang expressions that would
have made the fastidious Chaucer turn in his grave ; but
she had also learnt how to get rid of that unconsciorisness,
which had once been as a sweet frame to her beauty, and
which had so nobly stood the test of those little round
mirrors in her husband's studio.
(Have our Lady readers ever contemplated themselves in
one of these ?)
During the early days of her married life, she had often
sat by her husband in the National Gallery, reading aloud
to him, as he copied those singularly seductive types of
female loveliness which the early Italian Masters have
made so especially their own; and she had shared in his
enthusiasm for them, and had often blamed herself for being
so utterly unlike.
There had been one picture in particular, the " Martyr-
dom of Cupid," by Ltjca Signorelli, in which Cupid him-
self, and the nymphs who persecute him are of a beauty
so overpowering that J. Spratt and the trusty friends
would always feel faint, and weak in their backs and legs,
through sheer excess of sensuous pleasure when they gazed
at it; and varied as those nymphs were in form, hue, and
feature, she could not claim the remotest resemblance to
any single nymph amongst them, not even when she tried
in a little round mirror.
Jack Spratt himself, who had fallen in love, courted and
married before he had ever seen an old picture, could not
but also feel at times that his wife was not quite such as
the early Italian Masters would have chosen for a model;
and he had been confirmed in this impression by the careless
remarks of his trusty friends, who had not yet gotten them-
selves wives of their own (and who, although they would
speak of each other's faces as "beautiful," "lovely,"
"divine," and so forth, were extremely fastidious in the
matter of modern female beauty).
This disenchantment had been the one slight drawback to
a happiness nearly perfect; but he had always been too
much of a Gentleman to reproach his wife with her physical
shortcomings; and had found both his consolation and his
reward in her gentleness, her gratitude, her admiration for
his genius, and her complete devotion to himself.
Moreover, although he could not alter her form, features,
and complexion, he had endeavoured to teach her most of
the early Italian attitudes, and she had proved a docile and
intelligent pupil.
But now all this was changed; for wherever she went
she was greeted with an admiration sufficient to turn an older
and wiser head than hers; Dukes, Bishops, Generals, Ad-
mirals, even Right Honourables vied with each other in
paying pretty compliments to the pretty Mrs. Spratt ; so
that she grew somewhat vain, and almost seemed at times
as though she were half inclined to give herself airs ; for in-
stance, she would innocently blurt out before the wives and
daughters of these great dignitaries (especially if they hap-
pened to be rather plain) that she would sooner be dead than
not be beautiful, and the wives and daughters did not
always relish these egotistical bursts of confidence.
Then there were the Royal Academicians, who also vied
with each other in spoiling her; the painters painted her,
one and all; and the sculptors sculpted, and the engravers
engraved ; while the cantankerous architects looked on with
smothered envy ; and gay young Associates, fellows of infi-
nite jest, enlivened the sittings with inimitable song, dance,
and story.
Not content with painting her, one famous artist, pos-
sessed of wide and varied information, and quite an authority
in such matters, solemnly stated that so beautiful a woman as
Mrs. John Spratt had not been seen for four hundred years !
It requires less than this to make a pretty woman The
Fashion—which Mrs. Spratt immediately became.
So that even that lily of lilies, born of the foam of the sea,
wafted hither from the Channel Isles by soft propitious
Avinds, immortalised by Millais and Poynter, and en-
shrined for ever (along with a good many others) in the con-
stant but capacious heart of Mr. Punch, was fain to abdicate
from her throne in favour of that rose of roses, Mrs. Jack
Spratt ; and, to her inexpressible relief, was permitted once
more to mingle with the gay and fashionable throng with-
out .attracting more notice than any other handsome and well-