Punch (89.1885)

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JULY 4, 1885.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. i

THE REVOLUTIONARY SQUADRON.

(Some Later Particulars Communicated.)

If there has hitherto been, in certain quarters some doubt ex-
pressed as to the exact meaning' of the word "Revolutionary,"
when taken in connection with the carrying out of an apparently
simple Programme of Nautical Manoeuvres, there cannot be any
longer the remotest question as to its perfect applicability to the
recent doings in Bantry Bay. In fact, the experience of the last
few days has, to use the words of the now astonished but still gallant
Admiral in command, " so completely revolutionised and turned
topsy-turvy all preconceived ideas of Naval Tactics, and their neces-
sary adjuncts, as heretofore understood at Whitehall," that, while
retaining, under pressure, the important post he at present fills, he
cannot, in view of the forthcoming Demonstration promised shortly
for opithead, refrain from throwing out a few admonitory hints to
11 ?nsoPhisticated brother Commanders: who may, possibly be
C? t UP011 figure more or less prominently before the Public on
that interesting occasion. That these worthy Salts may the more
u- readily apprehend the precise nature of the unexpected
difficulties they may be called upon to encounter, the thoughtful
AirSf r • ' sailor-like fashion, condensed his recent experience
oil: tne Irish Coast into the shape of some simple and practical
Rules, tHe_ value of which, not only in mimic warfare, but more
especially in actual operations in the presence of an enemy, must be
geen at a glance by the merest outsider. A few of the more strik-
ing important of them are subjoined. They are as follows :—
1. As a rule, never go into action, if you can possibly help it, with

your ship bottom upwards.

2' i- S^pp^ed by the Authorities with proper despatch vessels,
in any p essing emergency fall back upon a torpedo boat, and if this
orumP UP atonoe, as it probably will with rough usage, like brown
paper> quisiticn the nearest port for a coal-barge or two, and man
^e-i?„T+v;„any ,W£!:r correspondents who happen to be on board.

oJa o, ™ fi mto your own dingy after dark and take the
men rf ir, as y°u oan yourself to the nearest marine post-office.
?" c°mmand of one of H.M.'s first-class four-masted

¥fr,c an enemy, prepare for aetion by instantly

-,e whole of her rigging, sails, spars, and tackle, and
bodily ng it away in the Senior Officers' Mess-room. Here let
it 0 C01lvenient lengths and conveyed to the furnaces.

v e>0Cmrse ^is l>alldy device, not only may the smashing
in of tne snip supper-decks and decimation of her crew be pleasantly
ayoi<ie<i, Dut an additional knot an hour be comfortably added to her
usual pace; a gain, which, when she makes but seven and a half

under full pressure, though pursued by nine armed cruisers whose
normal rate is never under eighteen, may be regarded as a distinct
and consoling advantage, not only to her crew and officers, but even
to her constructor and country.

4. A properly constituted modern Fleet should have its corpus or
body of heavy ironclad fighting power, and be supported by a con-
tingent of swift cruisers, supplemented again with scouts as feelers,
followed by a silent swarm of torpedo oraft. A British Admiral
suddenly meeting this formidable array, should, if in command of
three grotesque and thinly-armoured vessels of an extinct type,
supplied with bursting muzzle-loading guns, instantly strike up
" Rule, Britanniaon the band of the Marines, if it happens to
be on board, and give the order to " Scuttle and fill." If, however,
at the time he should be powerfully supported, after the latest
approved fashion, by a couple of lightly-armed Boulogne steamers
and a converted Thames lighterman or two, it may then become
almost obligatory on him to endeavour to draw up some sort of plan
of action. If, notwithstanding this decent show of defiance, he is
sent to the bottom before he has time to put anything on paper, he
will, still not omitting the order to the band of the Marines to give
" Rule, Britannia ! " go down quietly, and like a man.

5. On taking up a position on a new Station, the first thing to be
done is to ascertain the correctness of the Admiralty charts. This
may be accomplished by sending one of the most valuable ships of
the Fleet over an indicated rock. If a hole is instantly knocked in
her bottom, and all the steam-pumps within fifteen miles are hard
at work on her for three days and nights to keep her afloat, it may
be taken for granted that the chart is fairly correct.

6. The daily explosions of gas in the coal-bunkers should, if pos-
sible, be timed to come off in the evening, as a considerable saving
in the item of lighting could be effected by such an arrangement.
Moreover, they would accustom the crew to most of the sensations of
a successful night-attack by hostile torpedoes. When discipline
rather than surprise is the object, the catastrophe might be preceded
by the order, " Pipe all hands for a blow-up."

7. The captain of a turret-ship, on finding that though he may
manage to give his turret one good turn, it may suddenly get jammed
and absolutely decline to give him another, should instantly unship
his screw, reverse the position of his engines, and spin his ironclad
as well as he can round on its own axis. Thus not only revolving
the matter in his own mind, but the whole of his crew in the face of
the enemy, he may manage, by a well-sustained all-round fire, to
square the immediate difficulty.

Such are the brief rules, and it cannot be doubted but that, by a
careful adhesion to one or more of them, the Spithead display will,
on the whole, be a brilliant and instructive affair.

vol. LXXXIX.