Punch (89.1885)

AUGUST 8, 1885.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

61

GAMP REDIVIVA; OR MUCH OVER-RATED."

TVn-E-EW ! where is my precious old pattens, and likewise my cotton umbrella ?
And only jest let me get at him, that Randolph, that bragian fella !

Wich I've stood it quite
long enough, drat him!
a saucy, owdacious young
scamp,

And now I mean giving him
toko, as sure as my name's
Saibey Gamp.

Eh ? keep on my hair ?
Don't tell me ! It is time
the old woman spoke out,
Or the monkey will smash
up our Party afore we
know wot we 're about.
Foller him, indeed ? Never !
No, Sairey is faithful to
men as is men,

But no young whipper-
snapper shan't rule in the
bu2zum once sacred to
Ben.

Ah, he—bless his curls !—
was a beauty, my Beakey,
the joy of my 'art,

"Wich it makes the old
woman feel sniffy to think
of him, manly and smart;
But Randolph, a hover-
grown schoolboy, a cheeky
young sparrer, him dare
To stick hisself up as a Benjy ? It's more than a mortial can bear !

They didn't ought never have let him, dear Sally and darling old Staffy,
Shove nose to the front, like a pup, just acos he was cheeky and chaffy ;

They ought to have snubbed him and smacked him, and made him go smartly to
heel,

Taught him never to snap at his betters, nor play with strange puppies, nor steal.
But they spoilt him with petting and fussing; old Saieey herself was to blame,
As did think him a sort of a new Bailey Junior, saucy, but game ;

And now he has chucked us all over, and gone to the front like a shot,

And if Saieey don't wallop him off, why, the Party will go straight to pot.
But old Saieey will do it, oh, trust her! her back and her pattens is up,

As ain't goin' to be gulled nor yet flummoxed by any sech imperent pup.

Take on with them low Irish tykes like some Radical mongrel ? No, no !
Not while Saieey can handle her gingham. It's wus than that Brummagem Joe !
Wich there ain't, arter all, so much difference, not down at bottom there ain't,
But to see sich a leadin' our Party 'ud madden the soul of a Saint.
" Tory-demmycrat" sounds nice and harmless, but if it means simply cold scran
Prom the Rad's broken-wittel bag, drat it! far better the Libs' Grand Old Man!
He's a chokin' off arf our best men, wich his demygog trash they won't
swoller;

There's Whitley and Hamilton shied, and a lot more good fellas will foiler.
Life and soul of the Party. Yah bah! If /let the young monkey alone,

It'll soon have no life left at all, nor no soul it can dare call its own.

But no. I must come to the rescue. I see it, I know it—I will!

He ain't never yet had to face a Umbrella wot's handled with skill.

Wh-u-u-sh! Whack ! If he don't drop his tail, and find all his smart

fireworks go damp,

When old Saieey is once on the job in good earnest, my name isn't Gamp !

TALES OF HOPE.

Lord Salisbury (according to his Mansion House deliverance) hopes that
Russia and England may preserve the peace and mutual respect, that Egypt
may progress, that the population of this country may advance socially, that
struggles for class power may cease, " and, above all, that the City of London
may retain, undiminished and unimpaired, its ancient magnificence." Levia-
than and little fishes! My Lord Marquis, there seems a little lack of " moral per-
spective '' here. A finer example of anti-climax was surely never produced, even
oy a Peer, a Premier, or a Saturday Reviewer! Lord John Manners' famous
couplet is here outdone.

" Let nations fight, classes to contest stoop,

But leave us Civic Show and Turtle Soup ! "

one might imagine your saying, if, like Lord Shebbeooke, you stooped to the
Weg-like weakness of " dropping into verse." Your " hopes," my Lord, do honour
to your head and your heart, but their order seems a little inverted. Surely,
surely that, " above all," must have been a slip of your eloquent tongue—oil the
perilously greasy slopes of hyperbolical after-dinner eulogy.

( Friendly Motto foe the Candahae Railway (Russians and English).—
' Suum Sibi cuiaue."

A (GARDEN) PAETY QUESTION.

The M.P.'s assembled on Parliament Hill,

At a swell Garden Party conducted with skill.
" Eh ? Parliament, M.P.'s, and Party ? Oh, dear !"
Sighs the reader. " I thought Dissolution was near."
Mr. Punch sympathises, but begs to explain
That this Parliament wasn't St. Stephen's again,
And that men sick of that may extend their most hearty
Approval to this—unpolitical—Party.

For you see Shaw-Lefevbe and Beamwell, and Lloyd,
Burdett-Coutts, Bodkin, Hubbaed, and Bryce were
employed,

Not in Party slang-whanging, such bricks quite beneath,
But in scheming extension to old Hampstead Heath.
The Parliament Fields and the Heath Park Estate,
If saved from the Ogres of brick, tile, and slate,

May be added thereto, if the price we '11 afford,

And can stir up that slow Metropolitan Board.
Mr. Punch thinks if this be not done, more's the pity.
He '11 do what he can do to help the Committee,
And holds that the people should leave nothing undone
To gain—whilst we can gain—a new lung for London.
He'd like, in long streets close and weary to tramp, 's
stead,

More green bosky acres adorning old Hampstead.
All lovers of Nature and friends of " the childer "

Should back Sha.w-Lefevre in baffling the Builder I

THE QUEEN'S ENGLISH.

In the official Court Circular, describing the reoent
Royal Marriage festivities, an apology was made for call-
ing Count Erbach ScHOENBERGf (whoever he may be)
Count Erbach of Erbach-Schoenberg, and announcing
that Hee Majesty had been taking a drive with her
newest son-in-law instead of his brother. Such mistakes
as these are unpardonable ; and to put the Public on its
guard for thef uture, it is as well to publish a table showing
the "fact" as shadowed forth by the Royal Record, with
the corresponding "real truth of the matter " :—

When the Court Circular says
that

The Queen rode on a
pony.

The Royal promenade was
before luncheon.

The Queen was accom-
panied by two Equerries.

The Princess Louise
called.

Prince Cheistian of
Schleswig-Holstein stayed
to lunoheon.

The Grand Duke of Hesse
has arrived at Osborne on
a visit to Her Majesty.

The Duke of Teck and
the Marquis of Loene have
been created Princes of the
Blood Royal.

The statement made in
several of the newspapers
that the length of the Arch-
bishop of Canterbury's
charge to T.R H. the Prince
and Princess Henry, caused
great annoyance to Her
Majesty, the Prince of
Wales, and the rest of the
Royal Family, is incorrect.

That the reporting of
the domestic trivialities of
Court life does not render
Royalty supremely ridi-
culous.

It may be concluded that

Her Majesty took a
drive in a Bath chair.

It was after that meal.

"On horseback" should
have been added.

ThePrincess Louise (Mar-
ohioness of Lorne) called.

Prince Christian of
Schleswig-Holstein stayed to
breakfast, twelve o'clock
snack, luncheon, five o'clock
tea, dinner, and supper.

The Grand Duke of
Hesse, his family, his suite,
his friends, his uncles and
aunts, and cousins and
cousins - german, have
arrived at Osborneonavisit
to Her Majesty.

Neither the Duke of Teck
nor the Marquis of Lorne
have been created Princes of
the Blood Royal, a dignity
reserved solely for Prince
Henry of Battenberg.

The statement made in
several of the newspapers
that the length of the Arch-
bishop's charge gave great
offence to Her Majesty
and the Royal Family, is
entirely accurate.

That such reporting un-
doubtedly does.

VOL. LXXXIX