Punch: Punch (89.1885)

6D

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

[August 1, 1885.

HAYMARKETING.

The interior of the Hay-market Theatre, Monday night, July 20,
on the occasion of the Bancrofts' Farewell, was a wonderful sight.

Mr. and Mrs. Bancroft {singing).

Farewell to the spot where so happy we 'ye been,

And now we are off to the Engadine. [Exeunt dancing.

The heat was intense : not a dry eye but wanted wetting, and the
other eye also after that.

" Warm, isn't it! " exclaimed the President of the Royal Academy,
to Sir Robrrt Rrowning—he isn't Sir Robert, but he ought to be ;
he's our Sir Robert until our own Robebt gets knighted, than
which there are more unlikely events that may happen in the Home
of Turtle and Fine Linen.

" Warm! " replied Sir Robert Browning. "I wish I were at
the sea-side ! "

" What! Walmer! " cried the President.

"Yes, even that," returned the Bard: "for I'd prefer to be
Browning in the sun to be baking under the gaslights."

"Host- about the Leger?" gasped Mr. John Hare to Captain
Hawley Smakt.

" Melton," answered the noble Sportsman, fanning himself with a
handkerchief.

" Ha! a hot favourite! " said Mr. J. H., booking the tip. Tre-
mendous heat! "

"Heat!" murmured the Captain. "It's equal to three

I don't know what most people thought of the bill of fare pro-
vided for our entertainment, but, personally I would, "on such a
night," to quote the Bard, rather have had selections from the
Robertsonian pieces than the first Act of Bulwer's Money, and a
scene from Boucicault's London Assurance.

It was interesting and amusing enough to see Mr. John Clayton
as a Butler—very much " out of place "—and Mrs. John Wood, as a
Maidservant, chunked under the chin by Mr. Charles Windham,
who played Sir Frederick Blount as if he were first cousin of Lord
Dundreary. Funny, of course, was also Mr. David James, who
seemed to have forgotten a considerable amount of whatever he
might once have known of this part. But what did it matter ? We
laughed, all of us. But criticism is out of the question on so excep-
tional an evening, and therefore I will suppose that all did their
best, and looked their best. I would rather have seen Mr. Hare as
Lord Ptarmigan, or Bean Farintosh than as Sir Harcourt Courtly,
and Mrs. Kendal as Dora, iu Diplomacy, than as that very
theatrical Amazon, Lady Gay Spanker.

I should say that, where all were so successful, Mr. Kendal's
"Yoicks! and who-hoop or Tallyho! "—or whatever the sporting
cries were that he gave vent to,—might have, as the slang goes now-
a-days, "taken the cake." It thrilled through Captain Hawley
Smart, who, had it not been for the oppressive atmosphere, would
with difficulty have been restrained from joining in a shout so dear
to the heart of every true sportsman. The only person who seemed
to take it cool was Sir Henry Irving, as he stepped lightly on to the
stage and delivered himself of some most appropriate lines, written
by Sir Clement Scott—(in these days, when everyone is being
Baronetted or Knighted, it is so difficult to refuse a title to those
whose names seem to be exactly formed to have a handle fitted to
them)—whereat all the house cheered, to be in return itself cheered
bv the entrance of Sir John Lawrence Toole, whose few words put
everyone in a bettex humour than ever.

Then the Curtain went down, and in a few seconds again arose,
showing a stage covered with floral trophies, telling, not as mere
flowers of speech, but in the very best language of flowers, of the
tribute of affectionate regard which evt-ryone present felt for the
retiring Manageress. The Manager had to come forward alone, and
speak for himself and partner.

I felt inclined to say, "Don't be down-hearted, Sir! 'don't cry,
Mr. Cooke !' This is not good-bye, but an revoir!" and, after all,
there 's not much to weep about in having finished work early, and
being able to retire in the very prime of life with a large fortune,
good health, and the best wishes of a vast number of genuine friends,
at a time when a majority of working men at the Bar, for example,
who have toiled and toiled, and had to keep up appearances, are only
just beginning to get out of difficulties, and to know the luxury of
an increasing reserve-fund on deposit. Bless my dear pockets, I only
wish I had half the cause for tears that my friend, Ex-Manager
Bancroft has, and I would weep for joy ?

The Bancrofts have done much for the Stage,: in fact, the mise-
en-scene at the houses where Comedy is played, owes its present
completeness entirely to them. They, and Mr. Hare with them,
introduced the natural style of acting, thereby supplanting the
theatrical tone and gestures of the old school, which Burlesques had
done good service in laughing off our Stage for ever. I wish them
health, happiness, ad multos annos, and am theirs very truly,

Soft Nibbs.

SELLING OFF ! ! !

SALISBURY, CHURCHILL, & Co.'s

GREAT SUMMER SALE!!

Now proceeding at the Conservative Stores, Westminster.
In consequence of Change of Management, Premises must be cleared
before November next,

At any Cost,

Preparatory to the introduction of the
New Season's Goods,

In the shape of an extensive and recherche assortment of
Neo ■ Tor y-Democra tic No velties.

Selling Off, at an Alarming Sacrifice, all the immense Surplus
Stock, and vast quantities of Cheap Goods, specially purchased, at
Lowest Sale Prices.

GREAT BARGAINS!!!

A few of which are quoted below:—

Fine Old Conservative Principles, going cheap (slightly out of fashion).
A large assortment of Party Promises (slightly damaged).

A Job Lot

Of Patriotic Bunkum, Fiscal Bow-wow, and Fair-Trade Fallacies to
be disposed of in large or small parcels at prices absolutely

WITHOUT RESERVE ! ! !

Balance of a Large Bankrupt Stock of Political Pledges
(Unredeemed) offered at Prices unprecedentedly low.

Astounding Changes and Absolutely Ruinous Redactions !.' !
Over Two Hundred Party Cloaks (Reversible) at any Price you like !

Also,

One Superb and Unique "Elijah's Mantle "

To be Sold to the Highest Bidder.

Large Stock of Hibernian Muzzles (extra strong), laid in by the
late Management during a period of panic, at the urgent advice of
the present Proprietors, GIVEN AWAY!!!!!!

Russian Leather Goods and Egyptian Bric-a-brac !

Immense Bargains! !

Also a number of Political Reputations (damaged), Violent Party
Speeches (disavowed), Promises (mostly broken), Long-tried Leaders
(deserted). Alliances (abandoned), Statements (unfounded), Statistics
(cooked), &c., &.o., iu one large Miscellaneous Lot, to he parted
with at any price—or none—to any Parties promising to cart them
away and say no more about it.

REMEMBER ! MUST BE SOLD ! !

For further particulars apply to the "Boy with the Drum"
(answering to the name of Randolph), at the door of the Conserva-
tive Stores, Westminster. [A dvt.

The Boy is Father to the Man. It is said, we believe, on most
respectable medical authority, that Sergeant Bumier, 2nd Lincoln,
the Crack Shot at Wimbledon this year, was passionately devoted to
bull's-eyes from his earliest childhood, and used to make scores of
them himself.

t$3T TO CORRESPONDENTS—In no case can Contributions, whether MS., Printed Matter, or Drawings, be returned, tmlees aocomp»ni«d
by a Stamped and Directed Envelope or Cover, Copies of MS. should b® kspt by tho Bonders