Punch (89.1885)

September 19, 1885.]

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

133

SEA-SIDE STUDIES.

By Duirib-Crambo Junior.

The Bell Buoy.

s

THE WAY "WE ADVERTISE THIS WEEK.

(Modem Sporting Specimens—very choice.)
T. LEGER I ST. LEGER!

BILL BUSTER, the Old Jockey, who was suspended for foul
riding, so far hack as 1874, and was warned off Newmarket
Heath, for life, in 1878, has now ready his final synopsis for the
St. Leger. Has been snubbed by more Owners and thrown out of
more Trainers' stables than any other Turf Adviser of the Age.
Follow 6n.ii Buster and the Queen's Taxes, not to mention the
Water Rates may follow you with impunity. Send at once Five
Shillings in stamps to Post Office, Ropehorough-on-the-Hill.

ARCHER! ARCHER!! ARCHER ! !!—F.red Aechee boldly
states that he has no connection with the Jockey of that name,
but is prepared to advise Noblemen and Gentlemen over the St. Leger.
Has several real certainties.

"Who sent 100 to 1 Chance for the Two Thousand Guineas ? "Why

ARCHER! ARCHER! ARCHER!

Fred Aechee sent Golden Ray, who started 100 to 1, and finished
absolutely last.

"Who has sent Paradox all the Summer for the St. Leger ? "Why
ARCHER! ARCHER! ARCHER!

Feed Aechee has persistently, from what he has seen and from
what he has heard, written up the chances of Paradox for the
St. Leger, disregarding the fact that the colt was never entered in
the race. F. A. challenges the world to produce a Tipster capable of
a similar feat.

Wisdom 1.

Boobies 2.

OLD MO., still in Portland, and not out, owing to lack of marks
towards diminution of sentence, till next July, when he hopes
to meet all his old pals at dear old glorious Goodwood, begs to state
that his business is carried on during his absence by his nephews,
Leey and Mo Junr., and Incivility, Bad. Language, and a Fight over
each race guaranteed. No connection with Cucumber Mo, who should
be avoided, as he comes of a bad lot.

The sport of kings: the sport of kings! the

sport of kings!

THE OLD RED, GREEN AND YELLOW FIRM.

Same Old Spot. Bottom oe Horsepond.

Cigarettes and Brandy, both British, for all British Backers! 1

TPXETER HALL. — GENERAL BOOTH'S PET LAMB.—
l j Drunken Dauiel, the Converted "Welsher (vide War Cry),
will be pleased to see those Sons of Mammon whom he knew in his
unrighteous days, and will be the first to let bygones be bygones, and
start afresh.—Address, Post Office, Doncaster.

MR. BENJ AM1N BOLTER has no need to disfigure the columns
of the Press with loud and vulgar advertisements, proclaim-
ing to the world how far superior he is to his fellow-men. He states
facts. He simply says—

That he is the Proprietor of the Whitechapel Vaticinator ;

That his Newmarket Correspondent was a Hairdresser's Assistant;

That his Special Commissioner was a Clown in a Circus ;

That his Pall Mall Flaneur was a Waiter at the " Spotted Dog,"
Bow, E.

And confidently leaves it to the Public whether he and his talented
Staff are not in the best position possible to ascertain facts from the
Noblemen and. Gentlemen who are the Turf's leading supporters.

A GENTLEMAN, of great experience on the Turf, and one who is
in all the really good things, wishes to meet with a Gentleman
of similar tastes to accompany him to Doneaster. No applicants
unable to put down £50 cash in the Firm need apply.—Apply by
letter to the Marker, the Burglars' Rest, Skittle Alley, Strand.

F

ACTS, NOT WORDS.

Thames Police Court, '82—6 months for assault,

Marylebone
Thames
Aintree
Epsom
Croydon

do.
do.
do.
do.
do.

'83—3 months
'83—6 months
'84—3 months
'84— 6 months
'85—6 months

do.
do.
do.
do.
do.

The above speak for themselves.* Slogging Samuel is now dis-
engaged, and prepared to settle any accounts over which Bookmakers
may have trouble with their clients. "Remember the Slogger's
Right." (Torn Brown's Schooldays.)

WHO'D HAVE HOCUSSED PARADOX. ?

WHO'D HAVE ROPED MELTONf

WHO 'D HAVE LAMED THE BARD f
"Why, old Jack the Tout, honest old Jack, if he'd have had half a
chance! Honest old Jack has had a bad time, but means going for
the gloves now and winning. Such a chance for downright plucky
sportsmen, with their hearts in the right place, has never occurred
before. Follow honest old Jack, and shout
" Bbeak the Ring !"

CAROLINES AND PENNY-A-LINERS.

The news received from Berlin that King Alphonso had written a
short and pressing letter to the German Emperor has naturally
excited public opinion as to its contents, and though the Times saj;s
that " nothing has transpired as to its tenour," and adds " that it is
affirmed that the Emperor has communicated it to the Empress and
the Prince Imperial, and that all three are very much _ impressed by
it," the following may be regarded as the authentic text of the
spirited document in question. Events move fast, and its interest
even now is somewhat on the wane; yet, as a factor in the present
complication, it is, no less than the prompt reply it elicited, and
which is subjoined below, not without its weight.

Madeid, September 14, 1885.

Deab Royal and Impeeial Cousin and Uncle,

What on earth is to be done ? Since my last the regrettable
incident, to which I will not further refer, has, of course, accentuated
the situation, and I fear, whether I will or not, I shall be forced now
to assume an attitude that will fill me with lively regret. It is
scarcely possible, in the face of the manifestation of popular feeling
here, to escape the necessity of telegraphing to the authorities to
make some demonstration on the spot. You see how I am placed.
Could I not rely on your goodness to order your own vessel to keep
well out of the way, if only for a few days ? This would seem such
a fortunate and desirable solution of the difficulty, which, believe
me, at least here, is most acute and pressing. I am writing this in my
Uhlan uniform, that I have put on, not with a view to appearing in
it in the balcony before the populace, but as a compliment to you,
through your Ambassador, whom I am about to receive in audience.
You see, therefore, that whatever obstacles beset me, I am still and.
always shall be, Your devoted and anxious Cousin and Nephew,

Axphonso.

Bebxin, September 16, 1885.

Deab Royal little Brother and Nephew,

1 am profoundly touched by your appeal, and you may
assuredly count on my most excellent good will. Explain your
wishes fully to Solms. Though our worthy Chancellor had not so
purposed it, our vessel will not trouble your ships, but proceed to
Singapore. Never mind the regrettable incident. Diplomacy will
smooth away the excrescences of the situation, and meanwhile keep
up your Spanish pecker, and trust loyally to your old and devoted
Grandfather and Cousin, William.

vot. lxxxtx.