Punch: Punch (89.1885)

174 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [October 10, 1885.

THE GOLF-STREAM

Flows along the Eastern Coast of Scotland during tbe Summer and Autumn.

(Vide Report of British Association—Section V.)

THE OPEN DOOR!

True, stern restraint on Freedom jars;
We have no fondness, even at need,

For those stone walls and iron bars
Which form no part of freemen's creed.

But that's a creed that's shaped for men,
Not human-visaged beasts of prey;

For these the shackle and the den,
Not mastery of the public way.

Who rails at bonds ? The vicious brute
Whose yearning is to tear and rend!

Free teeth, free claws shall doubtless suit
The wolf who'd pose as Freedom's friend.

Grim cruelty must bide the cage
Though loud its thousand throats may
roar,

For tigerish hate and wolfish rage
There cannot be an open door.

The bolt is loosed, the bar is dropped,
For sullen silence reigned within,

Daunted by chains the brute had stoppsd
Its ramping fierce, its furious din.

Throw wide the gate ! And what avails ?
The captive is unchanged of mood,

And its first step beyond the pales
Means angry menace, thirst of blood.

No ; sweet is freedom, and to bind,
For freemen, an unwelcome tabk ;

But what is it that hides behind
The shelter of that cunning mask ?

Red savagery, whose cruel glee
Gloats o'er the evil power it craves.

When Tyranny alone is free
Where is there safety—save for slaves ?

SHOWING THEIR HANDS.

Dr. Poggi, in the Paris Figaro, undertakes
the divination of the characters, political
and otherwise, of the French Candidates,
from their hand-writing. Why this is
worse than thought-reading. How would
some of our Candidates, such as Sir J. C.
Lawrence in North Lambeth, who haughtily
decline to submit their claims to any other
arbitrament than that of the poll, like this
preliminary test applied to them? If the
cry were " Hands all round," in this sense,
certain constituencies might, perhaps, get
rid " (money) bag and baggage," of uninvited
Candidates, who, like the Old Man of the
Sea, are more tenacious than welcome, more
bumptious than well-beloved.

A Questionable Convert,

Jones, staying where the country beer is bad,

Declares he has been driven to adoption
Of Wilfrid Lawson's last teetotal fad,

That is, the principle of Local Hop-shun I

" happy thought ! "

Mr. Gladstone (on the Sixpenny Telegram).
" Only twelve words, including address. That's
really very cheap. I '11 send all my Midlo-
thian Addresses by^ telegram I " (Chuckles,
and sits down to write fresh Address.)

Messrs. Nisbet & Co. announce, among
their new works, " Four Centuries of Silence,
by the Rev. R. A. Redford." Yes, but why
break it now '(

CANZONET BY THE CHANCELLOR.

(Air—"A Landlady in France.")

Now I think I've done the trick,

As the Yankees say, right slick,

Done it quite pretty considerable tar-
nation 0!

In our small affair with Spain,
By contriving to obtain
His good Holiness the Pope's kind me-
diation 0!

Should his Holiness decide
In our favour, Spanish pride
Will have not the slightest cause to be
offended 0 !

If his voice the Spaniards gain,

We can then shake hands with Spain,
And our trumpery dispute will be well-
ended 0!

For the Carolines I care
Not a fig, a straw, a hair ;

'Tis no question of a valuable dominion 0!
Fit to make a fuss about;

I shall quietly back out,

Without prejudice in popular opinion 0 !
Then I compliment the Pope ;

And the Catholics, I hope,

Will accept the timely olive-branoh I
tender 0!

So that Windtborst and the rest
Will be favourably imprest,

And their services politically render 0!
To Canossa I should go,

People prophesied; but no!

I have travelled in a different direction O.I
I have only gone to Yap,

Which I care for not a rap,

And I calculate my policy's perfection 0!