Punch: Punch (89.1885)

December 26, 1885.]

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

305

head. The Spirit dropped beneath it, but, though Sceoogestone
pressed; it down with all his force, he could not hide the light which
streamed from under it in an unbroken flood upon the ground.

******

State III.—The Second of the Three Spirits.
"lam the Ghost of Christmas Present," said the Spirit. " Look
upon me!"

Sceoogestone respectfully did so. It was a pleasant enough
spectacle. Broad, beaming, of substantial bulk—nothing vague or

A Genuine Christmas Present.

vaporous about it. A jolly giant, with a bare chest, a blazing
torch, an empty scabbard, a big steaming bowl, a ruddy face, an
opulent pile of seasonable cheer.

"This is better," thought Sceoogestone—1"less shivery and
reproachful; more genial and restful. Spirit," said he, submissively,
" conduct me where you will. I went forth last nigbt on compulsion,
and I learnt a lesson which is working now. To-night, if you have
aught to teach me, let me profit by it."

Far they went, and much they saw—amongst toiling artisans in
smoky towns, and newly-enfranchised labourers in rural places ;
things unexpected—startling, suggestive lessons, which Scrooge-
stone could not but ponder and lay to heart, with results which may
be visible anon. He saw visions of troubled Churches and perturbed
parsonages, spectres of furious squires and jubilant rustics, shadowy
pastures cropped by phantom cows, shifting crowds, cockney and
bucolic, driving in opposite directions, clamouring in conflicting
causes, exulting over rival victories. He beheld one trusted hench-
man raising a spectral banner of revolt, another drifting like a wind-
driven mist in the direction of the enemy. Brooding over these,
Sceoogestone again remembered the prediction of old Bendizzy. He
looked about him for the Ghost, and saw it not, but, lifting up his
eyes, beheld a solemn Phantom, draped and hooded, coming like a
misty shadow along the ground towards him.

******

Stave IV.—The Last of the Spirits.

" I am in the presence of the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come ? "
said Sceoogestone.

The Spirit answered not, but pointed forward with its hand.

" You are about to show me the shadow of things which have not
happened, but which will happen "

"If the lessons of the Past are not applied to the possibilities of
the dim and distant Future," interrupted the Spirit.

"Lead on!" said Sceoogestone. "Lead on! The night is
waning fast, and it is precious to me, I know. Lead on, Spirit!"
******

Stave Y.—The End of It.

Whatsis Spirit showed him,and taught him, Scroogestone confided
only to the discreet bosom of his faithful friend, frank counsellor,
and wise warner, Mr. Punch. Save that it showed him dark danger
in the frozen North, possibilities of dread disaster in the sandy East,

confusion in the dusk-skin'd South, wild disorder in the "moist and
melancholy" "West; a nation falling to Chaos in the pursuit of
Chimseras, a Kingdom shaken by weak surrender to daring dis-
loyalty, a smirched honour, a splendid reputation sullied, and a
noble mausoleum clouded by :late-falling shades of shame, let
nothing be said here and now of the spectral fore-shadow-
ings of the Last of the Spirits. But if you had seeD the twain,

" a Merry Christmas to You! "

William: Scroogestone and Mr. Punch—as you may in the picture
—hobnobbing over a Christmas bowl of the latter's namesake, you'd
have concluded that the Three Spirits had not wholly wasted their
labours, that the recollections of their friendly visitations lent a zest
to Sceoogestone'a enjoyment of a fourth Spirit—that in the Bowl,
and that Mr. Punch hoped the best from the influence of the warnings
of Bendizzy's Ghost upon the future of William Scroogestone.

PUGNACIOUS PENMEN.

[Two French newspaper editors fought a duel a few days ago, and M.
Scholl the dramatist, and H. Labruyere a Communist journalist, also
went out together.]

We are told that they manage things better in France,
But the journalists there lead each other a dance ;

If one man " slates " another for what he has done,

It is pistols for two, and then cofiee for one :

Or the small-sword's called in to decide which is right,
By a dig in the arm, that's the end of the fight.

How too funny 'twould be could we tell in our rhymes,
How the Telegraph boldly assaulted the Times,

When Arnold and Buckle fell out; how Frank Hill,

Of the stern Daily News, should try Mudford to kill,
Who holds rule o'er the Standard; or pink, in a pet,
Fbederick Greenwood, who rules the St. James's Gazette.

'Twould be fun if a challenge were savagely hurled
'Gainst the owner of Truth by E. Yates of the World;
If Hutton and Townsend, that long-winded pair
Of Spectator renown, should fight Vanity Fair ;

While fierce T. G. Bowles would his work have to'do
With Saturday Pollock and pistols for two.

We may write on opponents and call them hard names,

But we do not go in for these duelling games;

If an argument needs to be backed up by such
Foolish deeds, then be sure it's not worth overmuch:

Let the Frenchmen go out, and endeavour to pink
Brother journalists,—we fight with goose-quill andjink.

A propos.

Distinguished Naturalist. Have you ever known a dog fond of
oysters ? I have.

Person (who can't be serious for a moment). Really ? Well, I
don't think I 've ever'seen a dog tackle an oyster; but, the other day,
I saw one trying to eat a muzzle.