Punch: Punch (75.1878)

July 20, 1878.]

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

17

I am afraid it will be too long to walk. How far is it P
Four hundred miles ! Which is my way F

First turning to the left and second to the right. It will take me
some time getting to Madrid, and as you say you are going to stop
another train, perhaps I had better bid you "good-night."

A SCANDAL TO SCOTLAND.

| Hech, Sirs, Ministers and faithfu' members of the Kirk—and a'
the Kirks—whom scoffers call the unco' righteous—what say ye to
Sir Coutts Lindsay offering to open the Grosvenor Gallery gratis
on Sundays ? To think that the fu it step to the desecration of the
Sawbbath, by admitting the Public to exhibitions of works of Art,
should have been taken by a Scotchman ! In the meanwhile the
Secretary of the Working Men's Lord's Day Rest Association, Mr.
Charles Hill, has testified against the snare for souls about to be
set by opening a door to let poor people in to see pictures on the
Sawbbath Lay. He requests Sir Cot/tts Lindsay to have his Gallery
opened free on the Saturday afternoon instead of on the Sunday.
A3 this would involve a sacrifice of shillings to Sawbbatarianism,
it is an invitation in which you, perhaps, would know better than to
join. Moreover, it might be objected to by the Jews, if the more
zealous Jews had only the modest assurance of the Sawbbatarians
of the Lord's Lay Rest Association. But you will warmly concur
in what follows from the pen of those Sawbbatarians' not at all over-
officious officer:—

"The Saturday half-holiday has been given to millions for the express
purpose of affording time for recreation without trespassing on the day of holy
rest. The opening of the Gallery on Sunday is calculated to injure the
religious character of the day and to impair it as a day of national rest from
labour, and to teach the people that the Sunday is a day for mere sightseeing
and amusement instead of a day for rest and religious exercises."

As Scotchmen you can appreciate the logic of declaring that to
open a picture gallery during a part of the Sawbbath is calculated to
teach the people that the Sunday is a day for mere sightseeing and
amusement, instead of a day for rest and religious exercises. You
can see how certain it is that peeple cannot possibly go to church,
and afterwards visit a picture gallery as well. AVith you, no doubt,
Mr. Hill and his employers are prepared to give an affirmative
answer to the question if it is sinful of a nobleman or a gentleman
to allow visitors to inspect his private collection of paintings on the
Sawbbath ?

Here is further argumentation after your own hearts :—

" The Sunday opening of the Gallery must involve a certain amount of
additional labour on the part of attendants, and increase the work of public-
house and refreshment-house keepers, who will be required to supply persons
who come from a distance, with liquors."

Is not sitting, or standing, or walking about, sinfully laborious ?
Are there not six days during which people may practise the voca-
tion of feeding the hungry, and supplying the thirsty with drink,
without profaning the seventh ? And is not the seventh the hrst r
and does not Mr. Hill speak as a Hillel when he says that—

" It will also be a direet violation of the religious sentiments of the country,
and of that command, read from ten thousand pulpits every Sunday, ' Remem-
ber the Sabbath-day, to keep it holy.' "

For are not the Sunday and the Sawbbath Lay convertible terms ?
and was not Man made for the Sawbbath, and not the Sawbbath for
Man—according to your Evangel ? And will not the opening of the
Grosvenor Gallery on Sunday be, relatively to that dogma, what our
friends of auld lang syne call the thin end of the wedge ?

A Saving in Show.

( One of the subjects announced for discussion at the forthcoming
Social Science Congress is, "How can Street Architecture be best
improved with a view to Economy ? " Chiefly, one would think, by
reducing the extravagant ornamentation of shops to the modest
requirements of good taste. Tradesmen occupying premises so
adorned would not find it necessary to recoup themselves for rent
out of their customers' pockets.

In Paphian Bowers.

Leep little game! To win us fruit of Wars,
And yet from warlike complications screen us !

They said he 'd hurl us in the teeth of Mars—■
And, lo ! he lands us in the arms of Yenus!

appropriate.

Mr. Baring, we read, has been sent to hoist the British Flag at
Cyprus. It should have been Mr. Belling.

WHY WE HAVE GOT IT.

(Unauthenticated Version.)

AS there appears to be still some
doubt as to the origin of the now
famous Anglo-Turkish Conven-
tion, and its concomitant territorial
concession, it is with much satisfac-
tion that Mr. Punch finds himself in a
position to throw full light
upon the subject. The fol-
lowing significant State
Papers have reached him
from a source as to which
he asks no questions, and
therefore publishes them on
the mutual principle, from
a sense of what he owes
the public as an organ of
publicity, and vice versa.

I.

From M.R.H. D-e of

C-dge, Horse Guards,

-London, to the E-1 of

B——d, Berlin.

Your telegram to hand.
Sorry you don't know what

C*A *svJIPSf"v**N—*£rr_ to do with them. They
^cssy march capitally; but I

can't go and inspect them
again. It would look ridiculous. Besides, we had it dreadful in
the Mediterranean. Fact. The thing can't be done. Bring them
over to Hvde Park, if you like, and I rll look at them there—or, why
not send them to Jamaica ? Come, there's something in that, eh ?

ii.

From Sir S-d N-e, Whitehall, to the Marquis of 8-y,

Berlin.

We called a Council over it once, and are quite unanimous. He
must not try a triumphal entry on an elephant, followed by all the
Indian troops. The public won't stand it. We're in for fifteen
millions as it is. Glad there is no fighting. Send them back to
Bombay quietly as they came. I'll tell the House. It will be
rather fun, and give us something to do.

iii.

From the Mayor of Margate, Kent, to the Earl of B-d, The

Kaiserhof.

Greatly honoured by your distinguished suggestion, but, even
utilising all the bathing-machines, fear we could not manage it
instantly. Will submit your " Lockyard, Arsenal, and Central
Imperial Citadel Scheme" with permanent garrison of twenty thou-
sand native troops in the " Fort," to the Town Council. Meanwhile,
why not try Westgate-on-Sea ? or even the Goodwins ? Shall I
write ?

rv.

From Messrs. Moore and Burgess, St. James's Hall, to the British
Plenipotentiaries, The Congress.
Thanks for idea of series of Monster Concerts, but don't see our
way to getting them all on to the platform. Then, who's to pay for
the evening clothes ? We '11 think it over.

v.

From the Manager, Royal Aquarium, Westminster, to Her
Majesty's Plenipotentiaries, Berlin.
The Manager of the Royal Aquarium, Westminster, presents
his compliments to Her Majesty's Plenipotentiaries, and while
thanking them for their kind offer, begs to inform them, that all his
arrangements being made, he will find it quite impossible to run
the Indian troops" for a short season after Beluga, or even
to introduce them, as suggested, with Mr. Farini's performance of
Mile. Zazel.

vi.

From Sir A. H. L-d, Constantinople, to Lord S-y, Berlin.

All right. If you can't place them at the Canterbury, thing is
settled here. England takes protectorate with defensive and offen-
sive alliance. Draft of Treaty by post. You can send them all off
to Cyprus as soon as you like.

domestic darwinism.

Natural Selection :—Marrying for Love,
Struggle for Existence :—Marrying without Money.