Punch: Punch (75.1878)

58

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

[August 10, 1878.

EDUCATION.

Inspector oj Schools. "It strikes me that Teacher of tours retains little or no
Grasp upon the attention of the Children,—not Hold enough, you know,—not Hold

enough "-

Lancashire Magnate (who takes great interest in the Educational Movement). "Not Hold
enough ! Lor' bless ter—if she ever sees Forty again, I'll eat my 'at ! ! "

M'yionyu (whose business it is to know everyone's private affairs), had informed her that I
was a bachelor.

" Queen Uganda loves the Great White Colonel, and will come with him to the end of
the world! " she exclaimed enthusiastically, at the same time throwing her dusky arms
round my neck, and shaking her nose-ring in my face, to the infinite amusement of the
Printer's Devil from Fleet Street.

Now I said to myself, " Now or never ! I must dissemble ! "

Unfortunately the Prince, her son, was ambitious, and encouraged his mother in this
sudden idea of hers, which, as far as my personal appearance is concerned, was neither
strange nor unusual. In fact—but we are on a delicate subject—and all I have to say is,
that I remembered the mission to which I had devoted myself.

"JPardon me, Queen," I said, quietly, "but I must hnd Stanley! "

"I will find Stanley, too!" she said,
simply.

"You shall!" I replied. "You shall
take the route to the South, while I take the
route to the North. Then at a certain point
we'11 meet again. Farewell!" And, tipping
the wink to my followers, who had been
carefully putting together the compartments
of the Arkadia, and to which Old Scratch
the Dark Horse had been already trans-
ferred, and was drawing it down to the sea,
I raised my handkerchief to my eyes, de-
clared my heart was breaking ; that parting
was such sweet sorrow, that I would go
away, and come to-morrow, — and then
made for the boat like mad. In a second
a something whizzed by my ear !

A spear! It came from her son, the
Prince ! It was the only weapon left on
the island. "We had taken all the rest,
which we had collared either as payment
for the Show, or when left at the doors
with the cloaks and umbrellas, including
those thrown at M'yionyu. As far as
spears could go—and they can go pretty far
—we were safe.

" Uganda ! " he exclaimed.

" Uguse! " she cried.

And in another second they were weeping
in each other's arms.

The Gozlingi, with tears in their eyes,
met to debate the question of what should
be done with the Great White Colonel,
who had spurned Uganda's offer.

Fortunately the Gozlingi never proceed
to deeds without a regular debate, or, as
they call it in their language, a kakkel.

In the midst of the formal preliminaries
we silently rushed Old Scratch (as good a
mare as ever drew bathing-machine) down
the shingle, with the Arkadia in tow, and
in another second, without a word or a
whisper, we had unharnessed and stabled
the faithful animal, my crew had taken
their places at the oars, and, with a hearty
cheer (not above our breaths), we dashed,
with a will, into the Lake.

We were all there; and with a grateful
and a beating heart I lighted a cigar, and
reclined on the cushions, while the Printer's
Bov turned on a Selection from Offenbach ;
and McShuggins playfully threw his voice
overboard as far as the shore, startling the
Gozlingi, by making Queen Uganda sud-
denly sing, " Ah, que faime les 3Iilitai?-es,"
with admirable effect.

They all jumped to their feet; and as Ave
sailed awav almost out of sight, McSiiug-
gins braced up his ventriloquial powers for
one final effort, and sending his voice right
in amongst them, he made the Queen say
to Uguse, "Mr. Stanley, I presume!"
How we all laughed! And how happy and
merry we were as Ave sailed away from the
simple, soft-headed people of Mossi!
(To be continued.)

Paying for a Pearl.

The name of Margaret is generally known
to signify Pearl. How comes it that Mr.
Plimsoll, or Mr. Burt, or some other oppo-
nent of the Duke of Connaught's Estab-
lishment Bill, failed to observe that the
Princess Marguerite of Germany aa-ould
prove a pearl of great price to Mr. John
Bull ?___

Level Crossing betaveen Dover and
Calais.—For further particulars, apply to
Neptune and the Calais-Douvre.

Classical Sea-side Trip—Dance of
Mermaids.