Punch: Punch (75.1878)

September 28, 1878.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

137

Mr. Gravestone. About £650. Then, of course, there will he our
commission, which will bring up the total to a trifle more. Shall I
make out your account, Sir ?

Mr. Bull. Thank you. [Produces cheque-book, and settles.

Elderly Member of the Firm [who has been dozing, waking up ivith
a start). I really beg your pardon. You were saying, I think, that
you would like to buy some United Hottentots-

Mr. Bull {putting on his hat, and leaving the office). No, thank
you. I won't have any more of them to-day !

[Exit, to explain matters to his Wife. Scene closes in as the
tape marks " 1215. United Hottentots, 12T|."

A SABBATARIAN SUCCESS.

T

he Blackpool and Fleet-
wood Gazette narrates at
large the particulars of a
munificent act of charity
performed at Blackpool by
the Managers of the Winter
Gardens at that town, with
the assistance of the Rev.
C. H. Waenwright, Yicar
of Christ Church. The
Managers announced that,
for the benefit of the dis-
tressed survivors of the
Thames Collision, they
would give a concert of
sacred music at the gardens
on Sunday afternoon—ad-
mission sixpence a head.
Mr. Wainwright threat-
ened that, if they did so, he
would prosecute them under
the Sabbatarian Statute 21
George III. The Managers
therefore concluded, as our
American Cousins say, to
give their Concert admission
gratis; a collection to be
made after the performance,
or rather, as a good work
done on a Sunday, it may be called, the Service. By this ex-
pedient they obtained £157, to be transferred to the Mansion House
Fund for the charitable purpose abovementioned.

iSTow this sum very much exceeds the amount which would have
been taken at the doors, and, for the difference—the excess of the
money they got over what they expected — they may thank the
Reverend Gentleman ; for if he had let them alone, and not inter-
fered to prevent them from executing their benevolent intention in
their own way, they would have netted so much the less for the
relief of their suffering fellow-creatures, and so much the less misery
would have been unrelieved.

If he has duly considered this, Mr. Wainwright must feel highly
gratified with his attempt to prevent a performance of a devotional
character with a pious object, which he, although a Clergyman of
the Church of England, and not a Scotch Presbyterian Minister or
old woman, deems a desecration of the Sabbath."

The Public at large, too, as well as the Blackpool people, have
reason for gratitude to the Rev. Mr. Waenwright. In a letter
addressed, in view of the intended Concert, to the Editor of the
abovenamed Journal, he explains why he objected to sacred music,
designed for the succour of destitution, on a Sunday afternoon. In
that beneficent design he beheld only a snake in the grass, otherwise
our old introductory acquaintance of the lever kind. " The truth,"
he says, '' is the Directors are trying to introduce the thin end of
the wedge, to test how far the Public are prepared to support Sunday
entertainments." By causing them to find a legal way of giving a
Sunday Concert, he has not only furthered the introduction of the
wedge, but helped to drive its thin end in considerably farther. In
so far he has promoted the cause of innocent and rational Sunday
recreation; and we must not look a gift horse in the mouth, even
although religious intolerance may possibly be found under his
tongue.

In the Cellar.

Lord Beaconsfield {to his Butler). Let the old Port stand. Don't
shake it on any account.

Butler. If you please, my Lord, do you think it will be any the
better for keeping ? {Smelling a bottle.) It's rather gone already.

Lord Beaconsfield. Put it into a cradle. If it isn't worth drink-
ing, we can use it for cooking purposes. I '11 try the new Cyprus
to-night. [Exit, to dress for dinner.

ADIEU TO THE AUSTRALIANS.

" The Australians have completed their victorious career among our County
Clubs. Since their first memorable match at Lord's, in May, -when they
beat the M.C.C. by ten wickets in a single day, they have played well nigh
in every part of England, and their hard work has been rewarded by astonish-
ing success."—Newspaper Report.

The Australians came down like a wolf on the fold,
In a trice the M.C.C. were caught, stumped, or bowled :
Not a batsman 'gainst Spofeorth " the demon " could stay,
And the match, a rare marvel, was won in a day.

They have travelled since then many cricketfields through,
From Swansea to Sheffield, from Cambridge to Crewe ;
And though here and there scoring a casual " duck,"
They have everywhere shown us good play and good pluck.

They have given us rare proof that the noblest of games
May be learned near the Murray as well as the Thames :
That courage, good temper, and patience abound
Whether commons or " Lord's" be the cricketing ground.

So a hearty Godspeed on their homeward-bound way
To the gallant Eleven whose watchword is Play! "
With their comrades we '11 make ever free of our soil,
Captain Gregory, Bannerman, Blackham, and Boyle.

QUEER FISH AT WESTMINSTER.

Q. What is an Aquarium ?
A. A place ^devoted entirely to the
exhibition of^every variety of living
Fish in their native element.

Q. What, then, may the Visitor
to see at the Westminster

A. He may ex-
pect to see Fish.
Q. Will he ?
A. Yes; if he
looks about very
carefully.

Q. But if not?
A. Then he
will see a Two-
Headed Night-
ingale (which
doesn't sound like
a fish); a Party
of Dwarfs; the
valuable and in-
teresting Mr.
Stokes on Me-
mory (he 's not a
fish, and doesn't
even come from
Stoke's Bay—
which might be

his title were he to turn Turk, i.e. Stokes Bey) ; the Performing
Fleas (not fish, certainly) ; the Articulating Telephone and Micro-
phone (I don't think these are fish ?) ; Portraits of Members of the
Berlin Congress (fishy, perhaps); then there's Uncle Tom's Cabin
(this sounds as if it had something to do with the sea, at aU events,
if not with fish; and it might be a cabin on board a fishing-smack—
but it isn't); then there are Poole, Zanlo, and Poole (two Pooles
—getting near fish this time) ; Paulo's Comic Ballet; the Rolmaz
Trio (haven't an idea what this means, but of course it might be
fish) ; the Skating Troupe; Wheeler's Prismatic Fountains; a
Vocal and Instrumental Concert; and—with what joy the announce-
ment is made—" Zazel. Free !! "

The notes of admiration are thrown in gratis. She is to be con-
gratulated on her freedom. Where 's Farent ? In chains ? 'No.
Here is a line about him which is a puzzler :—

"Parent's Zazel Twice Daily."

Is he, indeed! He's Zazel twice daily. Odd. He is evidently
the queerest fish in all this Marvellous Show. Never mind; if it
isn't fish, at all events the Manager makes it so ; and all's fish that
comes just now into the net profits of the Aquarium.

oh ! oh !

In most countries the field-labourer is the Happy Peasant. In
Kent he is the Hoppy Peasant.