Punch: Punch (75.1878)

December 7, 1878.]

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

263

THE SUNDAY CLOSING BILL-IRELAND.

Master. "But you know, Dennis, you can get in your Whiskey for Sunday on the previous Evening."
Gardener. " Shuhe, yer Honour, wid a Pint of it in the House—salfd up—I'd niver get a Wink o' Sleep!"

SOMETHING LIKE A DUEL !

{Translated from the French.)

The following is a detailed and exact narrative of the affair of
honour at which MM. l'Avocat Patelin and the honourable Deputy,
Patapouf, assisted as principals. We who sign this paper were the
seconds of those Gentlemen.

M. le Depute Patapouf, in the course of a speech delivered before
the_ Assembly, found it necessary to declare that "black was
white." _ M. i'Avocat Patelin denied the accuracy of this assertion.
Upon being requested by M. le President of the Assembly to with-
draw this denial, M. Patelin expressed his unwillingness to do
so until M. Patapouf had in some degree altered his definition. He
moreover alluded to M. Patapouf as '' the individual who has recently
spoken." M. le President having explained that the terms of his
denial were unparliamentary, M. l'Avocat proceeded to a modification
of it, adding that probably M. le Depute was under the impres-
sion "that both black and white were grey," and that consequently
his statement was " colourably true." At this point the incident
in the Assembly ended.

Subsequently, M. Patapouf, after mature deliberation, on having
arrived at the conclusion that M. Patelin's explanation was not
altogether satisfactory, requested two of the Signataries of this
paper, MM. de la Garrotte and de la Blague, to sound M. Patelin
upon the subject. M. Patelin persisted in the assertion that some
people might consider black a different colour from white. Upon
this a hostile meeting became absolutely a matter of necessity.
After some negociations, M. Patelin nominated M. le Comte
de l'Eau Sucre and M. De l'Absinthe, to represent him. The
nomination was accepted.

The Signataries of this paper having now the management of this
incident in their own hands, drew out the following programme :—

1. The principals to fire one shot at one another at eighty

paces distance, with pistols of the cavalry pattern of the
First Empire.

2. The incident to be closed with the discharge of the weapons.

This programme was submitted to MM. Patelin and Patapouf,
who unconditionally accepted it. A further suggestion that the pistols
should only be loaded with blank-cartridge (emanating from both the

Erincipals), was peremptorily overruled by all the Signataries, who,
owever, added the following article :—

3. That in consideration of the distance of the principals from
one another, and the possible deviation of the bullets from
the line of sight, each second may wear a suit of shot-
proof underclothing, and shall be allowed to retire behind an
earthwork rising five feet from the level of the ground.
These preliminaries having been arranged, the meeting took place
on the Belgian frontier. One shot was fired, having for result the
death of a cock-pheasant, which had taken up a position for ob-
serving the proceedings on a distant tree.
The Signataries of this paper hereby declare :—

1. That M. le Depute Patapouf was right in his assertion

that "black was white."

2. That M. l'Avocat Patelin was equally right in declaring

that the statement in its nudity was open to question.

3. That the meeting which has taken place between MM. Pata-

pouf and Patelin was conducted according to the strictest
rules of such encounters.

4. That not the slightest stain rests upon the honour of either

M. Patapouf or M. Patelin.
After the duel the principals and the seconds breakfasted to-
gether. The cock-pheasant was carved by M. le Docteur Fracasse,
who had kindly volunteered his services in the event of any deplor-
able casualty.

( Henri de la Garotte, I For M pAPAP0Tn?.
Sio- 1 j Charles de la Blague. )
° i Le Comte de l'Eau Sucre, ) Vn„ M p.™™-™-

t-> )» t /•.'>■ Xof M. rATELIN.

[ De l Absinthe, Journahste. j
Dec., 1878. Restaurant du "High Life"

Avenue de V Opera, Paris.

Storm. Warning.—C'est le Premier's pas qui Cofde,