Punch: Punch (89.1885)

24

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

[Jdly 11, 1885.

RIVER PUZZLE.

Your Punt-Polk sticks—you lose your Grasp of it. What are you to do ?

'epechly atter wut Brer Bison en Brer Fox
have said ey Brer B'ar en Brer Bull-
Frog.'

" So dey palaver longer wunner nudder, en
dey fotch along a sheep-skin, large en smooth,
en dey wrop it round Brer Wolff like it wuz
his own, and dey tell him to look like butter
wouldn' melt in his mouf, en Brer Rabbit
wuz settin' en de fence cornder a watching
un em."

" And did Brer Wolff bridle Brer Alli-
gator ?" asked the little boy, as Uncle
Remus paused.

" Dat's all de fur de tale goes—up ter
now," replied the old man. " He mout, en
den agin he moutent. Brer Wolff mighty
smart, but nex time you hear from 'im he
may be in trouble. You des hole yo' breff,
en wait."

A Perfect Cure.

Abmies and Custom Houses! So does
Bright,

Writing to Passy, the world's curses
classify.

In fact the hapless world would be all right,
If, with Free Trade and abstinence from
fight,

Bbight could but brighten it, and Passy
pacify.

query fob the " illustrated london
News."—Good picture that, in the last
number, of " Buss-fishing on the South
Coast." Only—which is Bass? and which
Bass is it ?—Sir Arthur or Hamer p The
latter not to be confounded by any 'Arby
for the Hamer of Hafghanistan. Are they
both there ? If so, they are not sufficiently
prominent. What a subject for Van Beers I

EGO AND NON-EGO ; OR, ALL MY I.

(.Result of attempt to read Herbert Spencer.)

" Here We Are," beyond all doubt.

That's a fact you feel you know.

True ; but try to make it out,

Ah, then, that you find no go.

Now—if anywhen elsewhere,

That is neither here nor there—

Here we are. How came we so ?

Came, you say; but then, by " came "

What do you suppose you mean ?
Answer you: " From sire and dame " ?

Prompt reply, more quick than keen.
How can one self come of two
Other selves ? Have I and you,

Each, halves put together been P

Half-a-Self is nonsense. One

Individual Self divide!

Stands to reason can't be done.

Part produced from either side,
I should be a tertium quid.

If I am so, call me squid !

Yet I must have once begun.

" Ego," I. " Non-Ego," you;

No-go that again would be.

" I" you say that you are, too;

Also that you are not me.

You 're another—put it so.

I began, how long ago ?

" Here We Are," a Mystery!

A Gentleman who, as a rule, goes to every
Concert throughout the season, had the mis-
fortune to skip one Richteb Concert, and
then went through an entire afternoon of
Wagner. He has since been suffering from
a severe strain.

The Gladstone Umbrella.

We've long been accustomed to "the
Gladstone Bag," and now, after Lord Rose-
bery's speech, some Liberal tradesman will,
probably, advertise the Gladstone Umbrella.
It will be a carriage one capable, like charity,
of covering a multitude of sinc-ere Liberals.
The caninised Latin inscription on the handle,
suitable to these dog-days, might be :—

Kosebery tu patulse standing-up sub-tegmine
brolly.

Lord Salisbuby's reign may be only a
" little summer shower " after all.

On the Cards.
All moribund Governments, nearing their
Styx,

Of Titles and Stars become liberal donors ;
And those who have lost by political " tricks "
Hope to win by political " honours."

A Suggestion to an Eminent Yocaxist.
—When next Mr. Sims Reeves apologises for
being unable to appear, he should not do it
by telegram, he should send a note. One of
his sweetest and best notes—he has still got
a whole chest full of 'em—would be required,
and, of course, the note must be a high one in
order to compensate the audience for its loss
of a tenor.

What is " the Musicax Pitch ? "—Any-
one, who is not a perfect equestrian, will soon
obtain an answer to this question if, as an
amateur, he will go to the Life Guards' Rid-
ing School and join "the Musical Ride."
Within the first ten minutes be will have
discovered what " the Musical Pitch " is, and
we hope he '11 like it.

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