Punch: Punch (89.1885)

August 8, 1885.]

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

63

LORD DE ROTHSCHILD'S EGYPTIAN SOOTHING-SYRUP. FEEDING-TIME; A LITTLE TREAT ALL ROUlfD

of it should be sanctioned forthwith, -when, after a vote of silent
thanks, proposed by Sir Godfrey Kneller and seconded by a Dutch
gentleman, supposed, according to his own account, to have been
responsible for the legs in the celebrated full-length of Sir Robert
Walpole, the assembled Portraits quietly separated, and, in the
now fast approaching daylight, noiselessly resumed their accustomed
places.

THE THAMES AND ITS TRIBUTARIES.

The tributaries of the Thames were once pellucid rills
And. rivulets to the river that, descending from the hills,

Their tribute paid in current coin so fair, of former days,

That the "Silver Thames" in poesy was a stock and a standing
phrase.

But now such other tribute other tributaries pour

Into the Thames, that thence its flood like silver flows no more ;

Rather a copper currency its turbid water seems,

Polluted for pellucid are its tributary streams.

The channels which Town Councillors their scavengers bid flush,

On Thames's bosom disembogue large subsidies of slush.

The Thames derives such tribute from the sluices and the drains,

And riparian gasworks' gutters, rich of Kingston and of Staines.

Filtration frees the fluid of its odour and its hue.

Clears the coffee-coloured mixture, ere ye tea and coffee brew;

So the beverage that on Londoners each Company bestows

Gives the nostrils no offence, although 'tis paid for through the nose.

The liquid that Thames River with its tributaries yields

How meet withal to irrigate and fertilise the fields!

But oh, to tipple how unfit for e'en a thirsty dog,

Much more for any man to gulp or mingle with his grog!

Oh, for some able engineer the tribute to arrest

Which tributaries, Father Thames, pour out upon thy breast!

Oh, for an Act of Parliament to moderate the price

Of water dear and nasty, and insure it cheap and nice !

Suitable Site j?ob a Police " Court."—The Area. 7J?'K