Punch: Punch (89.1885)

August 29, 1885.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

99

THE ROWERS ON THE LEA.

(Air—" The Miller on the Dee")

Thebe went a party forth to row

Upon the River Lea;

They started off as blithe as larks,

And sang most merrilee ;

And this the burden of their song

For ever used to be—

" "We envy nobody in the world,
But don't they envy we 1"

"lYou're wrong, my friends! " the
Boatman cried,

" As wrong as wrong can he ;
No boating now is to be had

Upon the River Lea,

The fishing too has gone to grief,

The anglers sniff—and flee;
And why ? Because the stream's a
sewer,

As you will shortly see."

The party laughed in merry scorn,

They took a boat so free;
" We love to row," they all declared,

" Whate'er the water be,
No noisome odours shall prevent

Oar vespertinal spree;

It is the Londoner's delight,

This limpid River Lea ! "

Alas I Within a brief half-hour,

They sang, but not in glee,
" We envy folk upon the bank,

But they don't envy we !

For why ? We feel inclined to faint,

We 're sick as sick can be;

We've all got germs of Typhoid from
This rowing on the Lea ! "

THE S. A. MANCEUVBES.

(From Our Own Correspondents.)

A brisk engagement has occurred
between the Derby Corps of the Sal-
vation Army and a body of insurgents.
There seems to have been serious
fighting.

Army accused of making an undue
use of their band in kicking up a row.
Summonses issued against some of
them for disturbing the peace; the
Authoritiesnotrecognisingtheir claim
to belligerent rights.

Last night the Corps made another
demonstration. Were followed to the
market-place by tag-ra^-and-bobtail,
whose movement was, in the mean-
while, confined to a reconnaissance.

The Salvationeers, arriving on that
ground, one of their mounted officers
fchook a stick at the police. Signal for
commencement of hostilities. The
Corps immediatelycharged by themob,
their drum smashed, their infantry
bonneted, their cavalry pulled to the
ground, and their squad in general
scattered. Corps fallen back on bar-
racks, bombarded by crowd, flinging
addled eggs and dead cats, throwing
stones and smashing windows. Tre-
mendous uproar.

The elite of the Salvation Army
constitute a crack regiment, entitled
the " Salvation Life Guards."

( Have the Salvationist forces any
'' Sappers and Miners " ? We are not
aware, but their silly and ridiculous
demonstrations tend altogether to sap
and undermine, if not to revolt, every
idea of reverence. Their perform-
ances in the streets with their ban-
ners, drums, and tambourine girls
are, in fact, only fit for a Booth.
Well—save us from the Salvationists!

VERB. SAP.!

If Sir Richaed Cboss, our new Not-at-all-at-Home Secretary, had stopped it at the outset,
we should have been spared the spectacle of an eminent Cardinal, an Archbishop, some Bishops, and
Clergy, all with their lingers in a mud-pie. Scarcely a journal appears^ without some report, or para-
graph, about Societies for the Protection of Girls, while so-called " religious papers " recommend the
establishment everywhere of Vigilance Committees. If this state of things continues, we shall need
several well-organised Societies for the Protection of Men to guard "man, poor man," against such
evil-speaking, lying, slandering, and black-mailing, as will be engendered by these Schools for
Scandal called Yigilanoe Committees. But who is to watch these irresponsible spies ? Undoubtedly
the Not-at-all-at-Home Secretary, with the Public Prosecutor, wide-awake for once, at his elbow.
Vigilance Committees can only exist where the Law is powerless. The public has been favoured with
some very clear expositions of the moral views of these self-elected Custodians, and the Armstrong
case afforded sufficient ground for the intervention of the Strong Arm of the Law.

A MIDSUMMER NIGHT'S DREAM.

Modem (Irish) Version.

Titania...HiBEENu. Bottom..." The Stupid Pamt." Puck...Lord Randolph Chubchhj,.

Bottom sings:—

Snug in the Liberal nest! A laik

The Cuckoo thus to play!

With the Rad Sparrow, which doth mark
But dares not say me nay.

For, indeed, what can his vaunted wit now avail against what he deems Lut, an it wer3, a foolish
bird ? Can he give me the lie, though he cry " Cuckoo! " never so ?

Titania. I pray thee, gentle Party, sing again !

Mine ear is much enamoured of thy note,

So is my mind resolved with thee to vote,

And thy fair promises perforce do move me
To swear that—for awhile at least—I love thee.

Bottom. Methinks, Mistress, you should have little reason for that; and yet, to say the truth,
reason and love keep little company together nowadays. But I can gloze upon^occasion.

Titania. Thou art as wise a3 thou art beautiful. [ Winks.

Puck. Ah! these two are now at one!—

I foresee no end of fun!

For those things do best please me
That befall preposterously.