Punch: Punch (89.1885)

204

PUNCH, OE THE LONDON CHARIVARI

[November 28, 1885,

ESSENCE OF MIDLOTHIAN ISM.

Extracted from the Diary of "W. E. Gladstone, M.P.

aven't had time to
write my Diary
up from day to
day. Must jot
down recollec-
tions of the fort-
night. A pleas-
ant journey up.
Made a few
speeches at the
stations, hut did
it in moderation.
Made up the ave-
rage on arriving
at Edinburgh.
Last time drove
straight off to
Dalmeny. But
now got in pretty
long speech im-
mediately upon
arrival at Edin-
burgh. Rather
nervous at first.
Couldn't get
figure of Grand
Cboss out of
mind. Exceed-
ingly thoughtless
of him to say
what he did at
the particular
epoch he uttered
it.

"I wonder,"
said he, " what
Mr. _ Gladstone
is going to say in
Midlothian, be-
cause I am ready
to answer him."

That would have
been enough to
upset altogether
In mind's eye all the time I was s

a speaker less practised than myself. _

there was Grand Cross's spectacled face, with his head cocked a little on one side
like contemplative sparrow listening to every word and ready to answer it.
Shook me a bit, I own, especially at first speech. Partly got over it, with
practice ; but trust Cross won't do it again.

Wednesday, llth — Spoke in Free Assembly Hall this afternoon. Discourse
on Disestablishment. Hall crowded partly with grim Dissenters wanting to hear
me declare for Disestablishment, partly with determined Churchmen prepared to
go over to the enemy if I did, and then Grand Cross always at my elbow ready
to answer me, whatever I say. What can a man do ? Necessary that I should
speak for an hour. Equally necessary that I should say nothing. Can I do

that ? I '11 try Have tried, and think 1 succeeded pretty well.

Audiende cheered all through. A little hitch once when I spoke of Church
Question not being at the door, but at the end of a long vista. Disestablishment
men growled. But if I'd said the reverse—question at doors not at the end of
a long vista—Churchmen would have growled. So it comes to the same thing.
Explained that when I said question at the end of long vista, meant it only in a
Pickwickian sense and immediately changed the subject. This seemed satis-
factory, for they cheered again, and things amicably arranged themselves.
Fancy I took the right line, walking exactly in the middle of the road, leaning
neither towards Establishment or Disestablishment.

Thursday, 12th. — Here's the papers. Let's see what they say. Fancy
they '11 descant on the skill and dexterity with which I avoided difficulties. I
know how it will run" Mr. Gladstone had a most difficult task to perform at
Edinburgh yesterday. Hurried, on the one hand, into a precipitate declaration
in favour of Disestablishment; held back, on the other, by an influential party
who threaten to throw their vote into the Conservative Ballot-box if he
encourages the hopes of the Free Churchmen; the Right Hon. Gentleman steered
a middle course, happily escaping alike the Scylla of Disestablishment and the
Chary bdis of the Church." That's the sort of thing, especially Scylla and
Charybdis. I have known them in all circumstances through more than fifty
years of newspaper reading. [Opens batch of newspapers and reads.] Halloa!
What's this ? Both sides down upon me. " Mr. Gladstone has put a heavy
strain upon the fidelity of the Liberal Party in Scotland," say the Free Church
papers. " It is all very well for Mr. Gladstone," say the Church papers, " to
declare that Disestablishment is not a question for the new Parliament. How
can he guarantee that, and what pledge does he give that the new Parliament
may not be dissolved in twelve months', a new Parliament summoned, and

Disestablishment carried with a rush? " [Throws down
papers.'] Pretty hard lines these. Thought I would
please everybody, and instead seem to have riled every-
body. Grand Cross will make a nice thing out of this.
Shall go out and cut down one of Rosebery's trees.

Sunday Morning, 22nd.—Here endeth the Fourth
Campaign. Spoke on Tuesday and again last night.
Enthusiastic audiences. Seem to have got over difficulty
about Disestablishment. Are quarrelling among them-
selves and leave me alone, which is pleasant. It's hard
work this battling with prejudices. Wonder how Salis-
bury likes it. Randolph doesn't mind. There's a
lightheartedness about that youth that enables him to
meet successive days and varying circumstances with an
entirely new manner. What he said yesterday has no
controlling influences over what he may say to-day, still
less to-morrow. But the Markiss is a serious man and
must feel the peculiar circumstances of his situation.
Wonder if he really believes he has any chance of being
kept in Office. Suppose he hardly can. Within a month
I shall be Prime Minister again, and all the old familiar
toil will weigh me down once more. How long will it
last ? Well, a year at least, and then I '11 think it over
again. Sometimes not quite sure that I shall not exceed
Paimebston's record, and I'm a good many years off
that. In the meantime here's the Fourth Midlothian
Campaign over, and I am feeling as jolly as a sandboy—
though what are the precise pursuits of a sandboy, and
why they should conduce to excessive jollity of manner,
I cannot conceive. Must inquire into that. Knowledge
might be useful some day.

Now's Grand Cross's chance. He hasn't answered me
yet, but he's been listening attentively, and I suppose
before the week's out I shall be crushed.

A FLYING VISIT.

The Cavendish Rooms. If names go for anything, this
ought to be the place for a smoking-concert—an idea we

suggest to Mr.
Broce Wild-
bbook, whose
entertainment
here last Wed-
nesday delight-
ed a crowded
audience. Imi-
tations of Ib-
ving are over-
done, and are
better left un-
done, but Mr.
Wildbrook's
was so well
done that it
was one of the
dishes most
relished by his
patrons. He
ought to suc-
ceed with Ma-
tinees about
Christmas-
time. There are not many popular entertainment com-
petitors iu the field; and if they are in the field at
winter-time, they will be " out in the cold," which won't
affect a Wild Brook, unless there's a tremendous frost.
We wish him piping times in the Cavendish Rooms, and
this must be taken, of course, as a puff.

Cavendish and Bled's-Eyb.

Piping Bullfinch. "Wonder if smoking's
allowed ? "

Routledge's Pocket Library.—We've only just come
across one of these volumes, and seeing it was intended
for carrying in the pocket, we at once pocketed it. Any-
one calling at the establishment of Gkobge Routledge
and Sons can become possessed of a similar volume in one
of three ways: (1) by asking for it, and it being given
him as a present; (2) by adapting it to his own pocket
when neither George Rotjtledge or any one of the Sons is
looking ; (3) by simply—very simply—paying for it. The
third volume, just out, is Hood's Comic Poems. We have
not seen the preceding volumes, but if like this in type
and binding, they can't be bettered. We hope the firm
has sent a Christmas Copy to Lord Randolph. His Lord-
ship might select, for recital, " I'm going to Bombay."

TO COEBESPONDEHTS In no case can Contributions, whether MS., Printed Matter, or Drawings, he retarned, unless accompanied

by B Strmnftd and Directed Envelope or Cover. Copies of MS. should be kept by the Senders,