Punch: Punch (89.1885)

62

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

[August 8, 1885.

OVER-PRESSURE.

(Thermometer 85° in the Shade.)

"Br the way, Cook, I ordered Threepenn'orth of Ice from the Fish-
monger's, Has it come?"

"Yes, Ma'am. Is it tor To-day, Ma'am?"

CANYASSING IT.

(National Portrait Select Committee—Adjourned Meeting.)

The final light of the adjacent Inventions Exhibition having at length
been extinguished, the adjourned meeting of the above Committee was once
more resumed, the portraits assembling, as on the previous occasion, in the
upper lumber room attached to the Galleries. As soon as the hour of mid-
night had. sounded on a neighbouring clock, the half-length of Sir Joshua
Reynolds, painted, by himself, was, as before, voted unanimously into the
Chair, and the proceedings commenced.

The Chairman, who, on rising, was greeted with some feeble and faded cheers,
said that he was afraid that since their last meeting, when they had assembled
hurriedly to discuss their narrow escape from destruction, owing to a con-
flagration in the three-and-nine-penny dinner department, with which their
destinies were so intimately associated—(laughter)—he had no very encouraging
information to submit to them. It was true that a " Mr. Plunket" (" Sir John
Popham, Lord Chief Justice, 1531—1607. Painter unknownwith warmth,
" Who Js he?") made some statement the other night, to the effect that
" something was going to be done," but he, the Speaker, thought that by this
time they pretty well all of them knew what that meant. (Groans.) Their
immediate destination, he believed, was Bethnal G-reen. {Renewed groans.)
He understood that manifestation of feeling. Every canvas in the room, how-
ever indistinct, realised that it was one thing to get into Bethnal Green, but
quite another to get out of it again. He therefore trusted that some suggestion
might be forthcoming, from the present meeting, to guide them as to what
steps they should collectively take, he would not say for their comfortable,
but positively for their decent habitation in the future. (Subdued cheers.)

1' King Edward the Third (tracing from a chapel fresco) " said, if he was
to give his opinion, he should vote at once for their removal bodily to The Hall
by the Sea. (Cries of " Oh, oh! ")

"Cardinal Pole (dimensions, 1 ft. 6 in. by 1 ft. 2 in.)" observed, that
though he was marked in the Catalogue " smaller than life," and only "seen to
the waist," he could not listen to such an unseemly proposition as that. (" Hear !
hear! " faintly, from Queen Joan op Navarre.) He could not, of course,

account for his traced Majesty's taste (laughter), but, as
far as he was personally concerned, he would just as soon
be hung up in the Holborn Restaurant. (Sensation.)

" Dean Swift (1667—1745, by Chari.es Jervas)" said
that, though only represented in a blue silk dressing-
gown, he did not care where they put him, as long as it
wasn't in the hall of the New National Liberal Club.
(Murmurs from 11 the Gunpowder Conspirators, half-
lengths, A.D. 1605.") He nad no intention of intro-
ducing politics into the matter, but he would like to
remind the company that, as this was a purely artistic
question, they had very little hope, unless the " spleen
and spite of party" intervened, of getting any help
from any Government whatever. Their probable finale
would be a conflagration—perhaps even a mock auction!
•—and, as there appeared to be a sort of perpetual
"Ranelagh"—or something—going on next door, he
voted that the Trustees be empowered to hang them up,
wherever they could find room for them, among the
coloured lamps. (Cheers.) Speaking for himself, he
should like to see the fun. (Laughter.) Certainly he
should prefer it to a return to Wardour Street.

";King Philip II. (1527-1598. Painted by Alonso
Sanchez Coello)" said that, many years ago, he had
passed (though the fact was not generally known) a con-
siderable time, in a shop-window in that locality, with
3s. 9d. in large chalk figures, marked boldly across him.
(Roars of laughter.) He was usually taken for a bad
likeness of Macready as Hamlet, still—the experience
was by no means a pleasant one. Seeing that he was a
full-length portrait of some value, he thought he ought
to occupy some conspicuous position, if it were only
on the advertisement hoarding at Knightsbridge.
("Hear.' hear!") If his personal taste were con-
sulted, he would like to be cut down,_ and end his
artistic days as a swinging sign at some quiet and retired
public-house. (Much laughter.)

" The Earl of Chesterfield (K.G., 3 ft. by 1ft. 2 in.)"
remarked that he strongly resented the intrusion into
family life which had dragged him, together with the
last speaker, from his ancestral Gallery to be damaged,
destroyed, and, finally, consigned to some East End
dust-bin by an unintelligent and parsimonious system
of government. If he had known how posterity would
have treated him for his literary feat, his now famous
Letters to his Son would in all probability have been
addressed, though in very different terms, to Mr.
Plunket himself.

[" The Five Children of King Charles the First, with
a large Dog, after Van Dyck," who had been for some
time interrupting the proceedings'with unseemly behaviour,
were here turned out of the room amidst a good deal of
general merriment.']

Upon order being restored, the Chairman said he had
just received from his noble friend, " Charles Brandon,
Duke of Norfolk (E.G. 1485. Painter unknown)," a
paper which he would read to the Committee. It was a
brief form of Advertisement for a suitable domicile to
accommodate them, that the noble Duke suggested should
be inserted in a couple of daily papers, and perhaps also
in one respectable weekly. It was as follows:—

TO THE BENEYOLENT AND ARTISTIC-RARE
OPPORTUNITY.—A Collection of National Por-
traits, which is about to leave its present situation
through no fault of its own, is anxious to meet with
some intelligent and appreciative caretaker who would
be willing to furnish it with a safe, convenient, and
appropriate home, in consideration of the prestige attach-
ing to association with a priceless accumulation of his-
toric memorials. The site should, if possible, be central
and generally accessible to the public; but a fitting,
secure, and suitable domicile would meet the present re-
quirements of the Advertisers. No objection to a good
airy County Lunatic Asylum where the pictures could
be hung well out of reach of the patients. N.B.—No
communications can be entertained either from Travel-
ling Show Proprietors, Marine-Store Dealers, or existing
Authorities at South Kensington. Would be glad to
hear from a generous-minded Millionnaire a little off his
head on the subject of Art. Apply, personally or by
letter, to the Secretary of the Canvas Committee, the
Back Kitchen and Scullery Department, S.W.

On the conclusion of the reading of the above adver-
tisement, the Chairman having; taken the sense of the
meeting, it was unanimously decided that three insertions