Punch: Punch (89.1885)

August 8, 1885.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

71

some for me. Oh, yon must wear your
ormolu with a difference! Here's ink-
stands. I would give you some monkeys
holding lamps, but they are out of fashion!

Reginald. Her wedding-presents have got
on her nerves. Poor Diapjtenia !

[Produces casket, with complete set of
diamonds and sapphires.

Diaphenia [recovering herself). Dear,
dear Reginald, this is something like!

[Dries her tears. They embrace.

Mrs. Wilton. Bless you, Reginald !
Bless you, my children!

Curtain.

HARASSING THE HOY AS.

Pitt the poor Malagasy,

In his semi-tropic isle,

For the Frenchman still persists in
His old buccaneering style !

Yes, twelve million francs are asked for,
And the Hova now must quail;

Up at Antananarivo

_ Will be told the awesome tale.

".These proud natives must not beard us ! "
Argues thus De Freycinet.

" We have right—we 're highly moral—
"Whatsoe'er the Saxon say !

".And, you see, we 've got the men there,
And good General Miot ;

So for Tonkin sell we '11 make up
By a glorious Hova-throw ! "

But, suppose the plucky native
Be victorious, after all;

Or French voters turn out peaceful;
There'd be wormwood for the Gaul!

"LO! AND BEHOLD!"

It has been observed, with sincere regret,
that about Richmond and Twickenham
Old Father Thames is getting dreadfully
low. Can it be through the company he has
been keeping on River-Bank Holidays ?
Very much afraid so. A French admirer of
Richmond wrote to.Old Father Thames :—

" They are unkind to you, mon pere,
Because you are not what you were.
You don't hear us abuse the Seine
Because there is a dearth of rain."

And Father Thames sent him this reply

" I'm not surprised; you 're French, and so
Water with you is always I'eau."

There's life in the Old Boy yet.
something ought to be done.

But

Hyde Park.

Notice.—To Noblemen and Gentlemen
frequenting the Row, all Rows forbidden
except Rows of Chairs. No Rowing in which
punching of heads is included, will be
permitted, though Rowing on the Serpentine
is allowed, but tho Rowers will have to
pay for a,ny damage done to the sculls.

No_ objection to pistols and coffee, but
fighting like coal heavers I will not have in
my Park, I swear I won't, by Geobge.

Truth told a story last week of a
case of Faith-healing at Yeovil. The sub-
ject was one Emanuel Davet. Was the
ease substantiated by a body of evidence
sworn on oath, or by only one " Davey."

TROPICAL.

Maid (to Irish Milkman). "Mrssis says she's sure there's been a great deal o'

Water in the Milk lately, and that if "

Pat. "An' oan ye Wander at it, my Dear? Small Blame to the Cows this
Thur-esty Weather, poor Orators !"

PERILS OF THE PAVEMENT.

Sib,—Can the rider of a bicycle be pulled up for driving furiously in the streets? He can;
but, according to his Worship Mr. Bushby, he cannot be convicted of that offence in a Police
Court, because in such case the Magistrate has no jurisdiction. If so, then, as sensibly sug-
gested by Mr. Hicks, the Home Secretary clearly ought during the recess to " prepare a Bill
for the better regulation of street traffic with reference to vehicles of all descriptions." Yes,
all; and particularly those in which reckless nursemaids, not minding where they push them,
are accustomed to wheel heavy babies over the toes and against the shins of passengers, chiefly
selecting old bachelor passengers. Wanted, a special provision to prohibit the furious driving
of perambulators. I am, Sir, yours sweetly, A Loveb op Babies.

Our Annual'Autumn Puzzle.—Where to Go?