Punch: Punch (89.1885)

306

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [December 26, 1885.

MUZZLE DAY. DECEMBER 101 1885.

" It's an III Wind that blows Nobody good " I So at least the Cats think, who abe having* it all their Own Way I

THE WAITS!

A Mebky Christmas I All I no doubt;

And those within seem vastly merry.
Meanwhile, 'tis precious cold without!

Chilled fingers, nose-tips like the cherry,
They find, who 're trying the experiment,
Are scarce conducive to much merriment.

Music hath charms! Of course, of course.!

But when the instruments all jangle,

When this seems cracked, and that sounds
hoarse,

And tune and time are in a tangle.
Soothing the savage breast—or warming—
Seems quite beyond its powers of charming.
WTiew ! what a wind ! Leader, play up!

Let's give 'em something brisk and rousing:
Perhaps they '11 ask us in to sup,

Or share awhile their gay carousing.
Something with less of shake and run in it!
This wait-ing game has little fun in it.

How they are going it inside!

There's little Randolph toasting Sollx'J
Their very shadows swell with pride,

Their laughter rings out bright and i oily.
How different it might have been!—

Tip 'em " The Wtaring of the Green ! "

If that won't fetch 'em, nothing will;

And if we can but play together.—

Well, well, we '11 try it. Tune up, Bill !

An outside berth in this cold weather
Suits none of us. Let's hope the fates
Won't keep us waiting long as Waits I

"The Stoby
Upper Story.

03? the Heavens." — The

ON UNIMPEACHABLE AUTHORITY.

To the recent authentio revelations afforded
by certain well-informed portions of the Press
as to Mr. Gladstone's attitude and policy
in regard to the Nationalist Party in Ireland,
the following may be added with confi-
dence :—

It is now no longer a secret that Mr. Pab-
nell and Mr, Gladstone have met. The
meeting which was not intended to come to
the knowledge of Lord Salisbury, took place
in the woods near Harwarden, on Saturday
last; the Irish Leader attending for the pur-
pose disguised as the local postman, the late
Premier also donning a woodman's smock for
the purpose of escaping detection. A highly
satisfactory and friendly understanding has
been the result of the interview, and there
is now no doubt, but that Mr. Gladstone
will immediately on the very first opportunity
that presents itself, take office relying on the
support of the Parnellite "Vote. The measure
of concession he is disposed to make is ample,
and will more than cover the Nationalist de-
mands, a circumstance that has caused his
Irish collaborateur the liveliest gratification.
Complete,; severance and disruption of all
National and Imperial ties, is to form the basis
of the arrangement. Perfect liberty of action
will be left with the Sister Parliament to deal
with'' vested land interests," and as it is calcu-
lated that this may lead to some protests from
a noisy minority dispossessed of their property,
a well armed and equipped Constabulary, able
to supply the place of the removed Military,
will form a prominent feature in the new
scheme of Government.

In the event of England going to war with

any' European'Power or Powers, a benevolent
neutrality is not necessarily to be imposed on
or expected from the Irish Republic, the con-
duot of whioh will be guided by the circum-
stances of the case as they arise; but a foreign
army will not be allowed to use Irish soil as a
basis for its operations, without twenty-four
hours' notice of the fact being given by the
Republic to Her Majesty's Government. It
is calculated that this will provide for any
eventualities likely to occur. With regard to
minor provisions, it is satisfactory to learn
that, though immediately on the assembling
of the Irish Parliament for its first session, the
Authorities of Trinity College, Dublin, will
have to look out for themselves, Mr. Glad-
stone has stipulated that Lord Cabnabvon
shall, either in disguise, or in any other con-
venient way that shall seem fit by the Repub-
lican Authorities, have a safe-conduoton board
the mail packet for Holyhead. Indeed, all that
the far-seeing prevision of a cautious and
circumspect Statesman can provide against
has been carefully thought out, and embodied
in the forthcoming agreement, the ratification
of which must be eagerly looked for by
earnest partisans on both sides of St. George's
Channel.

ON A POETASiTER.
{By a Ratid Reviewer.)
" New Poem, by Sir Bow de Wow," I read
That old announcement with a thrill of dread.
A Critic spake and lo! my fears diminished.
" These," says the Scribe, " are finished

poems." Oh!

These blessed tidings mitigate my woe.

Thank Heaven, they are finished!