Punch (72.1877)

50

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

[February 10, 1877.

NOTES FOR THE QUEEN'S SPEECH.

Satisfactory to be able to open Parliament in person. The cream-coloured horses, State-Coach (re-gilt
and newly fitted up), Life-Guards, Beefeaters, and Cap of Maintenance, material supports to the stability
of a Constitutional Monarchy.

Observe that the time of meeting was appointed for a day in February as late as could with decency
be chosen. Trust, therefore, rjarticularly as Easter falls early, that time will not be wasted in unprofitable
discussions and unproductive Motions.

Parliament shall be informed as soon as possible when the Easter recess will commence, and what will
be its duration—a question of absorbing interest on which it is gratifying to know that perfect unanimity
of feeling exists.

Foreign affairs, and, towering above everything else, the giant Eastern Question, will occupy your
attention. Treat it with as much patriotic and as little party spirit as possible—openly and straight-
forwardly, without bravado, mystery, or circumlocution, and with no reference to the retention or
acquisition of place and power.

The debut of the Earl op Beaconsfield and the return of the Marquis of Salisbury will impart more
interest to the proceedings of the House of Lords than they ordinarily command at the commencement of
the Session. We shall all (including the Chinese Embassy and the Artists for the Illustrated Newspapers)
await the first appearance of the noble Earl, in the robes of a Peer, with the liveliest curiosity. Mr. Punch
has taken a hint from those rival conjurors, the Girards, for a picture of Lord B.'s first appearance on
his new stage.

The House of Commons will have a new Leader in Sir Stafford Northcote. It will be no surprise
if he acquits himself in that onerous and responsible position with credit and renown. He will need
encouragement and support; for as Chancellor of the Exchequer, his task is too likely to be difficult
and disagreeable. It is unfortunate that a Conservative Government and a cheerful balance-sheet can
hardly be looked upon as co-existent possibilities.

With regard to Legislative Measures, if you cannot advance, do not retrograde; if you cannot go on
building, do not pull down. If it is the opinion of the majority that political and educational legislation
has been carried to the limits of safety, tarn your attention to Social and Sanitary Improvements, and
thereby better the health and increase the comfort and happiness of millions.

If it is possible, prove to the country that it possesses a satisfactory Naval and Military force.

Reduce the risk of Railway Accidents, and abate the disaster of destructive floods.

Pass a Burials Bill. Make more stringent regulations as to Vaccination.

Do not countenance jobs or favouritism.

The Empress of India invites you to consider questions affecting that empire with greater earnestness
and larger attendances.

If you find yourselves hesi-
tating between your dinner
and your country, give your
country the benefit of the
doubt.

Rein in your hobbies, forego
your crotchets, suppress your
grievances, guard against
personalities, do not invest
trifles with too much import-
ance, and above all watch the
clock.

Let us all hope that this
"Conference" on the banks
of the Thames will have a
happier issue than the one so
recently concluded on the
shores of the Bosphorus.

THE RIGHT WOMAN IN
THE RIGHT PLACE.

We clip the following from
a well-known daily paper—

TTNMAN AGE ABLE YOUNG
vJ LADIES, and those requir-
ing attention, are KECE1YE1) by
a Lady of very great experience.
No limit as to age. Very high
references.—Address, &c.

and commend it to the
guardians of the follow-
ing Ladies, who, if not all
"young," are at least "un-
manageable."

Miss Maud Mauleveber,
sixth daughter of Sir Gray
Mauleverer, decayed baro-
net, who will not listen to the
suit of Lord Trenoodle, but
prefers the hand of her cousin,
Lieutenant Cockletop of the
Guards, who has nothing but
his pay and his debts, his love
for unlimited loo and the turf,
and his taste for good wine,
good dinners, and good weeds.

Miss Auricoma Fnz-
George, who has a good
figure, no voice, and no brains,
and who on the strength of
these qualifications undertakes
the management of the De-
collete Theatre, under the
patronage of the Hon. Laun-
celot Looseftshe.

Miss Belinda Basbleu,
who, on the strength of pos-
sessing a large inkstand, plenty
of " outsides," a faculty for
stringing together idiotic
rhapsodies, and a melancholic
temperament, insists on
writing three-volume novels.

Miss Gussy Gaby, who
persists in sending to "her
dear old Punch " that " quite
too awfully funny thing"
which her darling Hugh said
the other evening,—the said
" funny thing " being about
as humorous as the whistle
of a railway - engine,— re-
questing its return if not
accepted, but invariably for-
getting to enclose a stamped
and directed envelope.

bar silver.

When you 're tipping an
Eton Boy, or the Head Keeper
at a Great Battue House.