Punch (72.1877)

76 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI, [February 24, 1877.

SAWBATH RECREATION.

Gentleman from N. B. {he had sent his Presbyterian Butler to a service at West-
minster Abbey). "Well, Dugald, what did you think of it?"

Dugalcl. "Aweel, Sir, it was mair like Heev'n than Airth ; but e—h.
Sir, it \s jxjst an awfu' way o' spennin' the Sawbath, yon 1 ! "

a grace as ever I saw, and much chuckling thereat among my Lords of the Oppo-
sition. Pleasant to see how friendly their Lordships be on both sides, and how
smooth-spoken, and my Lord Granville one of the pleasantest, yet can give
a smart rap with a smiling face. And after, the same Lord mighty curious to
know why, in the papers touching the Eastern Question, was no word of my
Lord Salisbury's conversations with Prince Bismarck, and President Mac-
Mahon, and the Due Decazes, but did assume it was for convenience of the
public service, to which my Lord Derby did agree. So I could not see why my
Lord Granville should ask the question.

My Lord Derby did add, wisely, that some talk with foreign Ministers was of
no account, and such it was good to publish : but some of grave account, and as
to that sort the public were best kept in the dark. "Which puzzled me.

{Commons.)—More questioning of Ministers: and one Samuelson, a brisk
man, asking if my Lord Beaconsfield, when he spoke so warlike at Guild-
hall last December, had in his pocket the letter of His Majesty the Czar of
Muscovy vouching his will for peace, Sir Stafford Northcote did answer
him so shortly and roundly as moved the laughter of the House ; meaning
that my Lord Beaconsfield did look on the Czar's letter as but a canard,
or Muscovy Duck, which is the name they give now to flams on public matters.
But how the Czar would stomach his letter being so. taken, I wonder.

Then Mr. Fawcett, a mighty clear-spoken man in matters of Finance,
and sharp-sighted for all he is blind, did move to reappoint the Select Com-
mittee, that has sat for three years inquiring into Indian Finance, but never yet
got so far as reporting, so that I was reminded of the hen that laid so many
eggs she could never come to the hatching of any. For their reappointment he
did give mighty good reasons, and indeed when a man thinks over all he said,
the one reason against such a Committee would seem to be that its work can
only be well done in India; and asks rather for a great Minister of Finance
than the best Committee that ever did hatch a Blue Book, which, as yet, this
Committee hath not done, only taken more evidence than anybody will ever care
to read.

And to this effect spoke one Smollett, a rough-tongued man, but ready, and
a hard hitter all round, and would have had the House vote to leave off all
spending on public works in India, and cease to distinguish between ordinary
and extraordinary expenses in, its reckoning. Which methinks were a starving
of the horse to save the cost of his feed. And was smartly rapped over the

knuckles by a mighty briskyoung Lord George Hamil-
ton, of the Indian Secretary's Office, that it was a
pleasure to hear how trippingly he spoke, and yet to
the point; so that it was pretty to see how well he had
learnt his lesson; and the House did cheer him mightily
when he went into the Indian accounts, and showed a
brave array of figures against Mr. Fawcett, and made
out things in India hopeful and thriving, save for this
famine and fall in silver, and was for no Committee, so
the House did say no to Fawcett by 173 to 123, and to
Smollett without a division, all being against him save
himself, and methinks he is one of that sort that do often
find themselves in a minority of one.

Wednesday.—Being Ash Wednesday, the "Lords sat
not at all, and the Commons not till two, for which I
was glad, being' already wearied of my week's work,
and knew not before they sat so late, and talked so
much.

A Bill to guard the mouths of thrashing-machines—
and might, methinks, be extended to the House of
Commons, where be many machines with mouths that
grind chaff, and so waste time.

One Parnell moved a Bill to enable buyers of Irish
Church lands to spread their payments over fifty-two
years, and to pay nothing at first buying. Which
methinks was cool, even for an Irish Member to ask;
and the House would none of it, though the Irish Home-
Rule Members of one mind for once. So the Bill was
thrown out by 150 to 110.

A Bill, moved by one Wilson, to forbid the Sale
of Drink on Sundays in England and Wales. The first
child, methought, of Mr. Smyth's Bill, and much debate
whether leave should be given to bring it in or no, and,
in the end, leave given, which I was sorry for.

Thursday {Lords).—Nought worth noting but my
Lord Duke of Argyll's notice of Question for next
Tuesday on my Lord Salisbury's instructions, and if
the Government propose to do aught, and what, in fur-
therance thereof.

{Commons.)—More questions. Mr. Ward Hunt did
explain to Sir George Campbell how Hobart Pasha,
an English Captain, commanding the navy of the Turk,
having been struck off the list and pay of his rank in
1868, was in 1874 restored to the same, but no reason
given. And in Our Office methinks, in my time, we had
not restored one of our Captains who had taken service
with the Infidel. But now 'tis otherwise—only land-
officers may not so serve without leave first given; which
puzzles me, to find a reason why what is sauce for the
land-bird should not be sauce also for the sea-fowl.

To Sir William Harcourt Sir Stafford jSTorthcote
did explain how Sir Henry Elliot did leave Constan-
tinople like the other Ambassadors—being ordered home
to report, but not in disgrace, and was sick—whereat no
wonder, with the sickening work he hath had.

Then one Rylands, a man of a rasping tongue, to move
the rejection of the Prisons' Bill, for bringing of prisons
under the control of Government; and much brave talk
of Local Self-Government, which is, indeed a grand
thing to talk of : and one Chamberlain, the stout and
high-stomached member for Birmingham, and Mr.
Newdegate, a solemn-spoken gentleman of Warwick-
shire, and Sir Walter Barttelot, a lusty Sussex
Baronet, did follow on the same side; _ and pretty
to see how the two country gentlemen did sleek and
stroke down the Birmingham man, but all to no pur-
pose, for the House, thinking the Bill needful, and no
check to local self-government? however it might be to
local jobbery, and like to bring better governing of
prisons, did vote the Bill by 279 to 69.

^Friday {Lords).—Mighty grave talk of business to be
done hereafter, but none done yet. And sure, Lord
Beaconsfleld performs his new part as solemn as ever I
see.

{Commons.)—The night's work begun by a question of
Sir C. Dilke —and sure never was such a questioning
as nowa-nights, and, methinks, little reason for Members
to call " Question ! Question! " as they do, seeing the
questions do come without calling. And so Mr. Bourke
to his reply, that the Government do mean to answer the
Muscovite despatch, when the time comes, and they know
what to say, and what the other Powers are of a mind to
say. And then to Committee of Supply, but first
Gladstone to call attention to our treaties with the
Turk and others, and to consider how we stand bound