Punch (72.1877)

Mabch 10, 1877.]

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

107

A DECIDED OPINION.

Proprietor of Shootings (" in the course of Conversation'''). "Yes, but you know, Sakdt, it's difficult to choose between the

scylla of a shy tenant, AND the ChARYBDIS of-"

Sandy {promptly). " Aweel ! Gie me the Siller, an' Anybuddy that likes may hae the tither ! "

for which tickets of non-admission are given on their being de-
posited.in the hall! ! Is it conceivable that here in England, in the
very heart of our big trading city, one man should be possessed
of so enormous, so unlimited a power ! ! ! ! Yet so it is. A captain
who has a ship to insure which is likely to be knocked about by the
Breakers,_ goes to the Brokers. The Official Lloyd gives him an
introduction, for which he pays handsomely.

The business is divided between the Underwriters (who won't
insure for anything like the amount, and who are, more or less, safe
and comparatively honest) and the Overwriters (who will insure to
any amount, on receiving a bonus as encouragement-money). And
these are speculators, and unseaworthy to the last degree.

It was to a firm of Overwriters that Don Jose di Salamanca, the
Spanish Stevedore, and Co-owner of the Albert Boss, applied.

" What's she laden with ? " inquired Mr. Hickory, of the firm
of Hickory, Dickory, and Docque.

" Grain," replied Don Jose. " Will you take her ? "

"We will take her," replied the other, slily winking at his com-
panion. " Cum grano salts."

" How much ? " inquired Mr. Docque.

" Five hundred thousand pounds," replied the Stevedore, firmly.

A thrill went round the entire room, and several timid Under-
writers lost their assurance for the moment.

"How much to do it?" asked Mr. Walker, junior partner in
the same firm.

" Fifty thousand pounds," replied the Don.

The Overwriters regarded one another suspiciously. It was not
Don Josh's first transaction. The Overwriters paused. The Under-
writers trembled ; and even Lloyd himself felt a shudder pass
through the gold lace of his hat-band.

******

{To be continued.)

The Czar is said to be longing for a " golden bridge." We
thought it was a Golden Horn on which his wishes were fixed.

TO MARCH.

{A Snarl in Season.)

The " roaring moon of daffodil and crocus."

So sings our Laureate—How these bards provoke us

With their periphrasis and hocus-pocus !

Roaring ? That s true ; with dusty blasts that choke us ;

But while to wrath your mad March airs provoke us,

Your flowery fancies seem a bitter jocus,

And snow-drops chilly sarcasms ! Wherefore poke us

With spring flowers, while 'gainst Winter frosts we stoke us ?

The floral charms of March who cares to focus,

Except in Covent-Garden ?—charming locus,

Where alone Spring-time does not freeze or soak us ;

In Mackintosh where we've no need to cloak us,

From " roaring moon of daffodil and crocus! "

Taking the Consequences.

Mr. J. Read, of Rose Cottage, Ipswich, sends to the Anglian
Times an indignant letter, complaining of the fines imposed on him
by the Ipswich Magistrates for refusing to vaccinate his children.
The gist of his letter is in the following sentence :—

"The amount I am unjustly ordered by the Great Unpaid to pay to the
borough of Ipswich, I will gladly pay, and thank God I am free from the dogs
of vaccination. I have been hunted about like a madman would be chased,
but henceforth I can rest with my family in Ipswich, for every one of my
unvaccinated children have had the small pox, and therefore by law free, all
six of them."

This is indeed, as the Editor remarks, paying such a price for
freedom as few parents would care to pay.

Usepul Military Exercise for Cabmen (suggested by a Victim).
-Judging distances.