Punch (72.1877)

158

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [April u, 1877.

PUNCH'S ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.

V.

Blest, but too brief, eight days' repose !
From Eastern Question Easter rest—

From Biggar's snarl, and Parnell's prose-
Obtrusive bore, obstructive pest!

And if M.P.'s throw down their hands,

And Ministers require relief,
What must Punch do, who meets demands

For weekly Liebig, oft sans beef?

Punch, who, besides the alchemic art,

Wit from the witless to distil,
Must play, perforce, the Showman's part,

And use the puppet-mender's skill.

And after sifting from his lead—
Tons'-weight—the grains of silver rare,

Must deal with many a wooden head,
Now grievously the worse for wear.

Touch up the puppets high and low,
Give point to patter, chant and chaff;

And so turn out the puppet-show,
That it may draw at least a laugh.

Wherefore, for the eight days' rest Easter has given him, Punch is
truly thankful; and now returns to his weekly grind, like a giant
refreshed.

Happier than their Essence-ExtractorMembers were not bound
to be back punctually by the day—why is there no Parliamentary
devil to dog the heels of lazy M.P.'s ?—so not more than a hundred
had turned up when business begun at half-past four on Thursday,
April 5.

Sir Stafford Northcote promised Mr. Forster a speedy sight of
the Protocol. We have all enjoyed that treat by this time, and found, as
we might have expected, that it binds Russiato nothing, rather, in-
deed, may be said to bind the Powers in Russia, inasmuch as it com-
mits those who have signed it to a joint profession of concern in
the better government of the Christians under Turkish rule. The
simultaneous declaration of Count Schotjvaloff—happy name !—
promises a movement of demobilisation on the part of Russia,
only in the event of certain very improbable "ifs"on the part
of Turkey. And a declaration on the part of Lord Derby declares
that England is not to be bound by the Protocol, in the only event
which can render action under it necessary, i.e.; if Turkey does not