Punch (72.1877)

Apbil 14, 1877.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

167

OUR TARS OF THE FUTURE.

Dear Punch, I to swimming quarters, their noses pointed to the nearest friendly

I hope that this letter, and the illustrations it contains, i port, and the word given to strike out in the order and at the pace
may save our gallant tars from any scare about the Whitehead tor- J best suited to the wind and weather. Cutlasses and axes would be
pedoes. Suppose our ships are destined to be blown to smithereens ! served out to baffle any attempt of the enemy to catch them in nets,

by a submarine shock, or'smashed by a floating gun-carriage. The j and'provisions would be carried in watertight caissons. There would,
worst that could happen would be that the crews would have to of course, always be the chance of their "getting a ship" by the way.
take the water. Of course they must be fitted for that element— | I think the future of the British sailor in war-time promises to be of

required to put on Boy ton dresses before going into action, and
trained to perform the usual movements in blue water as coolly as with
dry deck-planks under their feet.
The moment their craft goes from under them they would be piped

NO SMOKE WITHOUT FIRE.

Deae Me. Punch,

I eead the other day, in the Western News, of a difficulty
that occurred at a marriage m Stoke Church, Devonport. The ring
was found missing at the critical moment! This, I believe, has
often happened before, but somebody has usually had presence of
mind to find a substitute. On this occasion no ring could be found
among the whole party, and the bride and bridegroom were going
away—the one grumbling, the other scolding, when, happily, the
missing link was discovered, in the bowl of the bridegroom's pipe,
which he had been ill-bred enough to bring to Church in his pocket
on that day of all days!

Surely, my dear Mr. Punch, this thing is an allegory—a warning
against the use of the nasty filthy pipe by new married men, lest in
that bowl, though not inebriating, the link between man and wife—
as yet too tender to stand smoking—should disappear.

I am, dear Mr. Punch, your disobedient servant,

A Smoked Wife.

how to cuee an imprudent attachment.

Materfamilias. What is to be done, my dear? He positively
doats on her!

Paterfamilias. Well, we must try to find him an antidote.

the most amusing character—little more, in short, than a brief cruise
in an iron-clad, followed by a prolonged period of aquatic sports and
pastimes. I am, Mr. P., yours ever,

A Buoyant Spieit.

SWIMMING IN THE CITY.

It may not be generally known that among the Institutions of the
City of London there exists a special Society for the cultivation of
the manly art of swimming. This is the London Swimming Club,
quartered at the City of London Baths, Barbican, E.C. Onthe'part
of this Association, the Secretary, Me. J. Whailey, announces their
offer "to instruct gratuitously all non-swimmers, or to recommend
professional instructors to those who can afford to pay for tuition,"
and also—

" To assist the large wholesale houses of the City in forming swimming
clubs among their employes, having been exceedingly successful in similar
efforts in the East and West India Dock Company, where all candidates for
employment must either swim or undertake to learn in a stated time."

There is an obvious sphere of usefulness for a Swimming Club
in any Company employing persons about a Dock who may
tumble into it. Their assistance must also be serviceable to shops
and City employes, who often get into hot water, but not so often,
as they might to their own advantage, into cold. The principals of
some of those houses, besides, would be glad to learn how, under
any circumstances, to keep their heads above water.

Food eoe the Staeving Bulgarians.—The "Provisions of the
Protocol" !