Punch (72.1877)

190 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [April 28, 1877.

OUR ARMY RESERVE.

Sergeant of Pensioners {marching party of the Army Reserve into Camp—approaching the Guard). " Now, my Men, pull yourselves

together ! you 're not so drunk as you think ! 1 "

has left his footprint in the snow. I telegraph over this news at
once, as I know the puhlishers are all rushing en masse to buy
his works, and I want to know what they '11 give for one of his
foot-prints ? The print is a proof—of his having been here ; and
I'll swear to it—for a consideration. My friend at the livery
stables will receive tenders and forward them to yours truly by
Private "Wire. On we go again to Khiva.

sides, if our Hiding Kepresentative has gone wrong, we are sure that the
gallant officer above mentioned will be only too delighted to telegraph to
him all such necessary directions as "Go ahead!" "First turning to

the right!" " Halt! " and so forth.....Since writing the above, a

map of the country, drawn by our Representative, exhibiting its strong
and weak points, and showing the route he is now taking, has been
delivered by his agent, the Livery-Stable Keeper. "We were out at the time,
but our Confidential Boy in the front office took it in, and gave the man five
shillings on account. It will be on his own—the Confidential Boy's —account
if the map is not both genuine and authentic. The Boy quite forgot to ask
about Private Wire, but he says that the man who generally brings the MS.
has a " millingterry hair." Still—the Boy is to blame.

Latest Intelligence.—Boy in tears. His mother has arrived. The five
shillings belonged to her. Further complications. Kesult in our next, as we
must go out (by the back door) and call on Captain Burnaby. "We are
most anxious to see the horse that he has ridden so much on. It must be
his hobby.—Ed.

Erin's Three Graces.

{New version of a well-known Epigram.)

Three Members in three different counties born,
Dundalk and Meath and Cavan did adorn :
The first in rude vulgarity surpassed ;
The next in stubbornness ; in both the last.
Force of obstructiveness no more could do—
To make the third, she joined the other two.

The Latest Form op Lunacy.—Faith in the Crescent.

THEN AND NOW.

Things are not what they used to be in days not distant far—
Old fogies were no striplings then, when Nicholas was Czar.
And people dreamt—how came so strange a fancy to extend ?—
That Russian rule was tyranny, and conquest Russia's end.

" Atrocities " in Poland, deeds of bigotry and ire,

Were told, and even credited, of Alexander's sire!

The " Nuns of Minsk " a by-word were that passed beyond a doubt.

John Bull believed the story of the Sisters and the Knout.

The Cross against the Crescent when good Nicholas unfurled,
The bombs of France and England on Sebastopol were hurled.
Against him, with the Otto mite the Western Powers took part,
And thwarted him, and baffled him, and broke his gentle heart.

The Turks were then our trusty friends, our true and good allies.
We all thought Turkey in the scale of Nations on the rise.
Alas, these good opinions Britons backed with British gold:
Investors lent the moneys which they '11 ne'er again behold.

But now in vain may Turkey to Britannia look for aid.
The Muscovites the Porte's domain can unopposed invade,
So they assail our interests not, for anything we care,
'Tis almost a Party question if we should not help " the Bear."

Bulgarian horrors were the cause which, sole and simple, wrought
On the Oriental Question all this change of British thought.
Mere righteous indignation bids us throw the Moslem o'er,
Bleed not e'er a drop to save them; lend them ne'er a penny more.

a poke through a parchment.

It is said that the " Tripartite Treaty " of 1856 gives the parties
to it " no loophole." True; but there appears to be a hole in it
through which another party will be able to fire.