Punch (72.1877)

June 2, 1877.]

243

HAPPY THOUGHT.

Nurse. " Well, Master Tom, and so the Twins are going to be Christened to-morrow. What shall we call them?"
Tom (mindful of his Mother's fashionable proclivities). "If we want to please Mamma, we'd better call them Marshall and
Snelgrove ! "■

you did well. Follow my advice, and lay it off at evens on the third
on my list, which, if I am any judge of form and quality, will
show a clean pair of heels to a few of the level-made heavily-
backed ones.

There was a private trial'the other morning. Your old Uncle got
on the muscular colt (you know), but had to get off again. The colt
has such a strong propelling power about the hind quarters, that
anyone with his back turned to him, unconsciously, for five minutes,
would be a probable starter in about two-twos if he didn't look out.

_ Don't be alarmed by any reports about a cough. / was standing near
him, and coughed. They thought it was the horse. It affected the
betting men deeply. They have tender hearts. The tenner you
sent me I have invested for you, and it will be as satisfactory a
tenner to you as Mr. (tie's tenor, Gayarre, is to him. I know the
ropes, and you can read between the lines. As for the Cracks—your
old Uncle can see through them. "Watch the race closely, and if, at
the right moment, you judiciously, but boldly, put the pot on the
horse that is in advance of the first three at the judge's chair
(I myself will give you a wink at the exact second—so look
out), you will be on velvet for the remainder of your days, and have
no further need for any tips from your venerable Uncle who signs
himself now and ever, The 0ld Obadiah.

P.S.—I told your Aunt I had important business in the City to-
day, and couldn't be back till late. Will it spin, Obadiah, will it
spin't

"The Wane of Glory, and the Wax of Fame."

Madame Tttssatjd (or " Toosore," as the Million call her) has
added to her Gallery in Baker Street likenesses of the Czar and the
Sxtltan, Mukhtar Pasha and General Ignatieff, in belligerent
attitudes, ready to come to blows—at least in wax. It is to be hoped
none of them will run in the hot weather: or, if they do, that it
will be to melt in each other's arms—as a happy omen of peace in
prospect.

CELEBRITIES AT THE DERBY.

The success, socially and financially, of two energetic literary
gentlemen who last May impersonated wandering minstrels on the
Hill at Epsom, has given rise to a multitude of imitators among
our first intellects, who have made their arrangements to mystify
the Million at this year's Derby.

As no noble sportsman or sportswoman' is likely to abuse our
confidence, we do not hesitate to indicate some of the disguises
chosen for the occasion.

Mr. W. E. G-e may possibly be discovered under a Russian

cap and beard, selling Rahat-lakoum or Turkish Delight.

Earl B- d will be with difficulty recognised manipulating'the
three-card trick, and defying you to spot the Knave of Clubs.

Sir R. P-l has hired the turban and table of the King of

Stone-breakers, and will be seen every ten minutes smashing rocks
with his fist.-

The Marquis of S-y will most probably don the particoloured

dress and hunch of Mr. Punch, and will conduct a favoured band
of Eastern serenaders.

Mr. Wh-y will disguise himself as a gipsy fortune-teller, and

thus frustrate the designs of the Jesuits, who have an agent in
every vehicle destined for the Hill.

Messes. B-r and P-l have serious thoughts of encasing

their manly forms in fleshings, and appearing as the Baffling Brothers
of St. Stephen's in their great obstructive entertainment.

Major O'G-n will go in for divarsion in the dress of the

Irish gentleman who dances jigs with a shillelagh under his
arm.

Doctor K-y will exhibit the Fat Lady and the Living Skeleton,

as illustrations of the change that has taken place in the form and
features of " the unhappy Nobleman now, &c, &c."

The Patron Saint of Ostlers.—St. Titus Oates.