Punch: Punch (89.1885)

September 12, 1885.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

131

INTERIORS AND EXTERIORS. No. 18.

INTERNATIONAL INVENTIONS EXHIBITION.

Everyone out of Town. It is left to the Executive Council and theik Country Cousins.

" HOOP-LA!"

In consequence of the possibility of Bicycles being used for scout-
ing purposes in -warfare, the following set of questions has already
been drawn up by the Military Authorities, for use at the next Sand-
hurst Examination:—

1. "What course would you be inclined to recommend for practical
adoption if, when the enemy's cavalry is charging down on you. you
find yourself suddenly and violently precipitated over the handle of
your machine owing to the front wheel coming off ?

2. State your method of tightening your cranks under a hot fire.

3. Do you consider yourself qualified to guide a machine with a
revolver in one hand and a sword in the other ? _ Mention how, under
such circumstances, you propose making practical use of your field-
glass f

4. What's your way of treating an enemy that shouts "Yah!
your back-wheel's going round!"

5. On arriving at the summit of a steep hill, and finding the enemy
in full possession of the ditch half-way down, what sort of patent
brake would you prefer to have attached to your bicycle ? Which
would be best—to shoot the hill, or shoot the enemy ?

6. At what precise moment in the decisive Battle of Coventry
did the British Commander flash the thrilling signal (by heliograph)
to all parts of the field—" England expects every man to oil his
machine " ?

7. Supposing that fifty howling savages are hanging on to your
coat-tails, and jobbing you with spears, would you feel a glow of
pleasure at remembering that an economical Government had failed

to supply your machine with one of the Patent 0 alvanic Death-
Dealing Backbones ?

8. Do you think the new Torpedo Tricycle likely to be most peri-
lous to the enemy or to its rider P

9. In riding through a dangerous country, where there's every
reason to fear ambushes, which do you think the safest seat on a
" Tandem "—in front or behind? Which would you offer to your
Commander-in-Chief if he requested a mount ?

10. In those numerous cases where good macadamised roads would
require to be made through dense jungle and over perpendicular
mountains before cycling scouts could begin to operate, what par-
ticular advantage do you think would result from their employment
in preference to a few light mounted skirmishers on horseback ?

At the Top of the (Willow) Tree.

Oh, Yorkshire and Lancashire both are big pots,
But Cricket's top honours again go to Notts.

Surrey, who hoped with its record to vie,

Found it one of those Notts very few can e'er tie.

Well, Surrey showed pluck,

So here's wishing her luck,

And first place when next Season's last wickets are struck.

The "Psalm or Lite" or the Swindles.—'" Let ns then be up
and ' do'-ing I"