Punch (89.1885)

DECEMBER 26, 1885.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

301

Part I.—January Jealousy.

The Serpentine was frozen over. The usual
motley crowd were disporting themselves on the
ice. Chestnuts were in season, and oranges could

The North-East Wind—A genuine
Christmas Numb-er.

be obtained very cheaply at Covent Garden. The
Pantomime was in full swing at Drury Lane.
In fact, it was thoroughly seasonable weather.
Edwin de Boots and Angelina de Slippers
were gaily exchanging vows of constancy as they
glided along on the Club Skates, when there was a
crash, an ejaculation of horror, and a disappearance.
In another moment the loving pair were under
water, and alone. But not for long. Suddenly they
were joined by an Italian, dressed in a slouch hat
and a disguise-cloak. " Discovered!" exclaimed
Angelina. "My hated rival!" murmured
Edwin. It was an embarrassing situation.

Part II.—February Fidelity.

It was Valentine's Day. The limited space at
our command will not allow of our explaining
how Edward and Angelina escaped from the
Serpentine, but escape they did. And now Ange-
lina, by some mischance, found herself in the Ser-
pents' Cage at the Zoological Gardens. " "What
shall I do ? " cried the unfortunate girl, as the
Cobras, the Pythons, and the Boas began to devour
her. " Trust in me ! " exclaimed Edwin, suddenly
entering the glass-case.

Part III.—March Morality.

It was very seasonable weather. An easterly
wind blew everything into the middle of the fol-
lowing week. flares were at their maddest. Edwin
and Angelina (the story of whose escape from the
fangs of the Serpents, only exigences of space prevent
us from unfolding) were walking down Piccadilly.
The young man entered a tobacconist's alone!
When he returned Angelina had gone ! Seized
and abducted by Count Jacko de Bootzo, she
was reclining in a storm on board his yacht in the
Bay of Biscay. The frail bark began to sink!

Part IV.—April Amiability.

The Row was beginning to be fashionable. The
man with the chairs was demanding pennies.
Angelina (whose adventures after shipwreck
in the Bay of Biscay would well repay recital did
the exigences of space permit) was seated under
the fast blossoming trees listening to the Horse-
Guards' Band. i'Let me tell you your fortune,
my pretty lady," said a ragged individual, be-
side her. But, in spite of his disguise, she
recognised him. " Edwin !" she exclaimed.
" My own darling!" Then she fainted. He
lifted her up gently into his arms, and vaulting

> OUT! OR, PUNCH'S HARDY

with his fair burden into the empty saddle of a
runaway horee, hurriedly quitted the Park. The
infuriated steed dashed down Piccadilly.

Part Y.—May Madness.

It was the Private View at the Koyal Academy.
All London was there. A crowd had gathered
round Edwin as he attempted to lead his fair
lunatic from the Kefreshment-room. " Ange-
lina," he whispered, "do you not recognise
me?" Her only answer was, with a wild laugh,
to attempt to stab him with a carving-knife. Then
she rushed into the Powder Magazine, near the
Serpentine, and seized a matchbox. The Sentry
Cwho had not observed her entrance) stood aghast!
Her next movement was to light a match!

PartYI.—June Juries.

The Central Criminal Court was crowded. The
Counsel lrr the Crown had summed up the evidence
which substantiated the Prisoner's guilt. There
had been told, in detail, the whole story that would
have appeared in these columns had only space per-
mitted of the narration. The Judge had done his
duty dispassionately. Edwin and Angelina, sup-
porting one another in each other's arms, with pale
lips, colourless cheeks, and weary eyes, anxiously
awaited their doom. The Jury consulted; then
they retired to their own room. On their return,
in answer to the question, " Are you decided upon
your verdict?" the Foreman replied, ""We are! "

Part YII.—July Jewellery.

It is to be regretted that space will not permit
of a recital of the escape of Edwin and Angelina
from Newgate and the condemned cell. They en-
gaged a yacht, and were cruising in the Mediter-
ranean. On account of the hurried manner in
which they had to collect a crew, their employes
were not of very good character. Perhaps the most
respectable of them was their mate, a Greek Pirate,
known as Kuthrotos. Following the plan given
them by the old Abbe, they soon discovered the
Island of Monte Carlo. Here, on entering the
cave, they found it filled with the most magnificent
diamonds. The next moment they heard a voice,
and felt the barrel of a revolver grazing their fore-
heads. "Move an inch, and I fire!" It was
Kuthrotos, the Greek Pirate.

Part YIII.—August Amusements.

Lucerne was crowded. The table d'hote at
the Sweitzeroff had never numbered so many guests.
The story of Edwin and Angelina's escape
from the pirates (which we are forced to suppress,
to make room for other articles) had constituted
them the hero and heroine of the locality. Edwin
and Angelina had ascended one of the loftiest
mountains in Switzerland, and from the summit
were admiring the delightful view. Suddenly
Edwin turned white. There was a slight tremble,
and then earth began to move. " Hold me firmly,
darling," whispered Edwin in Angelina's ear.
"We are going back on an avalanche ! " And he
told the truth !

Part IX.—September Splendour.

Count Jacko de Bootzo, who, it would have
been remembered, had taken a very active part in
the Servo-Bulgarian War, had we had space to re-
count his adventures, was once again in England.
He was mounting his horse to go out with his pack
of visiting cards, when a telegram was placed in his
hands. "'JPristihe exclaimed, beneath his
breath, and immediately returned to town. He
hastened to his magnificent chambers in St. James's
Street. All his papers had been taken! The will
was gone ! For a moment he lost his reason. Then
he became more calm, and rowed his eight-oar (he
was thoroughly English in his tastes) to Scotland
Yard. "I was expecting to see you," said Inspector
Booker, of the CriminallnvestigationDepartment,
with a smile. "I have traced the whole compli-
cated affair to a man and a woman. It is a long,
but deeply interesting story. Take a seat, and I
will tell it to you." Thusinvited all eager to hear the
truth at last, the Count dropped into a chair. The
Inspector refreshed hismemory with a, draught from
his note-book, and then began.

ANNUAL.

Part X.—October Oratory.

It was the Polling Day of the General Election.
Edwin and Angelina (whose extraordinary ad-
ventures Inspector Booker told the Court, in
confidence, and which we should have reported but
for the very small space devoted to fiction in these
columns) were, of course, the observed of all ob-
servers. After mutual explanations it is needless
to relate that they had become fast friends with
the last of the De Bootzo's. Consequently they
were deeply interested in his success. Naturalised
an Englishman, he had contested the county, or
rather, one of its divisions. "Mia Cara," he
murmured to Angelina, "the two o'clock train
will bring a thousand voters to vote against me."
" They shall never arrive! " exclaimed the lovely
and strong-minded girl. Then she entered the
signal-box and coquettishly chloroformed the
signal-man. The clock pointed to one minute
to two—in another sixty seconds the train (which
being on the South-Eastern Eailway was never a
moment behind time) would be due. "With a
whirl the engine approached. Angelina turned
the points, with a white scared face. Suddenly
she fainted. On the engine she had recognised
Edwin, who, all unconscious of his danger, was
laughing heartily!

Part XI.—November Necromancy.

Edwin was inconsolable. After learning the
harrowing incidents that would have been related
in our last chapter had there been room for them,
it is obvious that he was forced to feel consider-
able apprehension as to the safety of Angelina.
She was with the Greek Kalends in their own
mountains, a prisoner. "I will help you," ex-
claimed De Bootzo, and dragging him outside the
Crystal Palace, opened a secret door, discovered ten
flights of steps, passed through a stone passage, and
found themselves in a hall, where a Masonic Lodge
was being held. Edwin remembered the stories of
the Mysterious Brotherhood that had reached him
from time to time, in the shape rather of hints than
assertions. Now it was one of his friends who had
saved himself from scalping by North American
Indians by raising his right thumb; now it was
another who had been the constant guest at the
dining-table of the King of a third-rate Conti-
nentalPower by merely jerking his left fore-finger.
He perfectly trembled with curiosity. '' Before you
are initiated," said the "Worshipful Master, "I
will tell you all the secrets of our Craft." And
then he divulged all the secrets of Freemasonry,
in the following words.

Part XII.—December Delusions.

Christmas once more! The mistletoe and the
holly! All good things in season. Bills coming
in by the dozen. Never was there so much doing
at the dear old County Court! A mournfully old-
fashioned Christmas ! It need scarcely be hinted
that, after the many adventures our hero and
heroine passed through since the first entered
the Masonic Lodge, and the last fell among the
Brigands (adventures that only the exigences
of space prevent us from publishing at full
length), that they were happy to meet again in
the large Deception Boom of Haunted Hall, Ghost-
shire. They were holding high revel. All the
neighbours were invited for forty miles round for
ten o'clock, when they were regaled with weak
tea, Abernethy biscuits, and quartered oranges.
After a while Edwin recited to them. The host
was in the middle of one of his most unsuccessful
"humorous pieces," when midnight began to strike
on the old hall clock. Gradually the lights burned
blue, and went out. The guests shrieked, and some
of them fainted. There were many there who
would have gladly listened to Edwin's recitation in
preference to this. A ghastly light, and the Count
de Bootzo glided into the room. Angelina
shrieked, threw up her arms, and swooned. "Why
do you come here ?" asked Edwin, angrily, for
he was annoyed at being interrupted. " I come,"
replied the ghost of the Count, " to tell you all—I
know everything." And then, having assisted the
ladies and Angelina to resume their seats, he
began his narrative. And that narrative (as will
be seen in due course) supplied all the missing
links of the present story.

(To be concluded next year.)

VOL.^LIXXn.