Punch (72.1877)

196 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [May 5, 1877.

not leave friends and relatives free to use at burials in parish
churchyards such Christian and orderly observances as to them
might seem fit.

To this complexion it must come ; but bigotry and exclusiveness
die as hard as ever ; and on Thursday they had a field-night; though
it is to be noted as a cheering sign of the times, and a proof that the
harvest-time of common sense and Christian charity are nigh, that
both Archbishops, in principle, and the Bishop of Oxford by his
vote, supported Lord Granville's Resolution. There was a great
crowd. The Bishops overflowed their benches. There were old
ladies, besides those who were present virtute officii, young ladies,
intelligent foreigners (including the Christian Greek and the Hea-
then Chinee), a large muster of the Commons, and many eldest
sons of Peers—supporting, as is their right and duty, the Throne
on the steps thereof.

It was as much a matter of course that the Resolution should be
lost (141 to 102 was a small majority against it for the Peers) as it is
that it will be carried in due time. Do not the Bishop of Lincoln
and the Earl of Dartmouth oppose it ? Do not the Marquis of
Salisbury and the Archbishops pray a settlement, ere an offer of
worse terms come with worse,—i.e., better,—times ? But the Con-
servative Tarquin will not listen to the Sibyl; so her books are
withdrawn from sale, to reappear in due season, at the inevitable
higher figure which will have to be paid at last. The question is
not one to be laid at rest by a " silent burial."

{Com?nons.)—Hobart Pasha will cease to be Hobart Pasha,
R.N., from the outbreak of the War. There is no rapture of
Diplomatic relations between Russia and Great Britain.

In Committee on the University Bill, Lord Francis Hervey moved
the wrath of Grant Duff and Sir John Lubbock by protesting
against Professors, and backing College education by Tutors against
University education by Lecturers. The Member for the Border
Burghs seconded him. Between Lord Hervey, Treveltan and
Lowe on the Fellows' side, and Grant Duff and Lubbock on the
Professors', Sir W. Harcourt took the mediatorial line, and Jove-
like weighed in equal scales the fates of Scholarship and Science,
Colleges and Universities, Fellows and Professors, Endowment
of Research, and Research of Endowments. At last the Bill
got into Committee, and there was a fight over the names of the
Commissioners, Professor Price, Professor Huxley, Professor
Max Muller, Dr. Bateson, and Dr. Hooker being in turn set
up as Aunt Salleys, to be knocked down'.by majorities varying
from 10 to 32.

The House adjourned at a quarter past one, much delighted with
its little game of three scientific*sticks a penny

Friday {Lords).—A Railway, Accidents Commission has lately
reported, recommending measures for enforcing on the [Companies
punctuality and safe speed of trains, reasonable hours of service,
and an effective block and brake system.

Lord Bury moved a Resolution pledging my Lords not to do any-
thing to carry out these recommendations. Rest, rest, perturbed
spirit! The House is not going to. It was hardly necessary for
Lord Beaconsfield to say as much. This is the merry month of
may, not must. A Government that won't join in coercing Turks
has no locus standi for coercing Directors. So far from its being
necessary for Lord Bury'to raise the subject, my Lords are quite
ready to burke it first and bury it afterwards—with a "silent burial,"
of.course; so the less said the better. Leave the Companies to provide
blocks and brakes, as they do now, in all senses of the words, on the
principle of undivided responsibility—tempered with.damages.

{Commons.)—A talk to be taken into consideration by owners of
ships trading to Odessa, still more of sailors shipping on board
thereof. The Russians have given notice that if such ships get
among the torpedoes the crews are "to go below." Nothing more
likely. It hardly needed a Russian notice to tell us that.

The House declines, by 189 to 65, to accede to The O'Donoghue's
Motion, first for a Resolution pledging the House to take further
steps to turn the Irish tenant into a fixture, and the Landlord into
a rent-charger, and if the House won't grant that, for a Royal Com-
mission to inquire into the matter. The House declines to follow the
Home-Rulers rule, of fooling Irish tenants to the top of their bent.
Parliament does not mean to grant fixity of tenure any more than
Home-Rule, and prefers to say so in plain majorities, let Butt pipe
never so persuasively.

by them. If Zazel finds it as pleasant to be blown up by her ma-
chinist as Managers assure me they find it to be blown up by me, I
am delighted to learn the fact, for the young lady's sake as well as
that of your business. But I see no sufficient reason for my making
the experiment, as you kindly suggest. Modestly as I may think
of myself, for the credit of my Office I cannot allow that a Lord
Chamberlain is a " corpus vile."

Yours faithfully, Hertford.

Mr. Cross is terser, but as much to the point:—

Dear Mr. Robertson,

I am accustomed to being blown up by (if not blown out of)
great guns in the House of Commons, and can't see I have ever found
it hurt me. I suppose Zazel's machinery is on the Parliamentary
pattern, and may be warranted not to do any,harm. So fire away.

Yours, R. A. Cross.

THEN AND NOW.

" I can especially call to mind a remark which was made to me years and years
ago by Mr. Disraeli, when we were sitting in Opposition, in the presence of
a very eloquent and distinguished leader of the Ministry, who, Mr. Disraeli
may have thought, was, perhaps, too much given to the exercise of his
remarkable powers of speech. Mr. Disraeli, on that occasion, said to me,
' I have always considered that one of the principal qualifications for a leader
of the House of Commons is, I will not say an inability, but an unwillingness
to speak.' "—Sir Stafford Northcote, at the Banquet of the Middlesex
Conservative Registration Association.

What Dizzy in the Commons held a grace,
He puts in practice in " another place."
(Some hint his silence does not please the Lords.)
But was he always chary of his words ?
His speech was once ornate, and arabesque,
Frequent and fluent as Don-Juanesque ;
Then, being young, and prone to mount the stilt or,
He vowed to give my Lords a taste of Milton ;
Now, old, and over friends and foes victorious,
Our Milton's mainly mute—if not inglorious.
A golden silence ? So his friends proclaim.
His foes say brazen. Well, what's in a name ?
At worst he proves, in times with talk abounding, _
There are some kinds of brass that are not " sounding."

BLOWING (OUT OFj] GREAT , GUNS.

Mr. Robertson, the active Manager of the Aquarium, suggests
to the Lord Chamberlain and the Home Secretary that, if they
have any doubt as to not only the perfect safety but even the plea-
surableness of Zazel's sensational performances, they had better
come and try being blown from the mouth of the gun themselves.
The courteous Marquis of Hertford has replied :—

Dear Mr. Robertson,

It is my business to blow up Managers, not to he blown up

A HINT TO THE JAPS.

oo-so, the first iron-clad fri-
gate built in this country for
the Japanese Government, was
launched on Saturday from the
works of Messrs. Samuda
Brothers, at Poplar."— Daily
Paper.

As the Japanese have
thus introduced one of the
many blessings of modern
Western civilisation into
their country, Punch calls
their Ambassador's atten-
tion to the following items
which we could well spare,
and which the Japanese
perhaps might appreciate—

The Great Eastern Rail-
way.

All the four - wheeled
Cabs of the Metropolis.

A good many of the Statues
in our streets and squares.
The Editor of the Englishman. '
The Rector of St. James's, Hatcham. _
The Golden Image from the Albert Memorial.
The Claimant. w . .

Three-fourths of the Music-Halls and Gin Palaces.
The Comic Singer of the Period.

The Man-Woman of Ditto, with her " movements, _ fashionable,
political, and social.

from angelina (during the honeymoon).

The Heroine Edwin always invokes'before meals—'! Grace
Darling," of course!