Punch (72.1877)

July 7, 1877.] PUNCH, OB, THE LONDON CHARIVARI. a

BEHEMOTH or Bogey? Awful Apparition or Sorry Show ? Colossus of Roads and Realms, Over-stepper of Deserts, Ovtr-
strider of Mountains', Floorer and Framer of Faiths, Extinguisher of Nationalities, Absorber of Empires, Disposer
of Manifest Destinies, Defier of Magnificent Distances ; or Immensest of Impostures, Darkest yet Dullest of Diplomatic
Deceptions, Shallowest of Shams, Biggest of Bubbles, most Barefaced of Bankrupts, Gelatinous of Giants, and Weak-kneed
of Warriors ? The most far-seeing and far-reaching Power that ever pursued a settled purpose of Universal Dominion
through centurks of shifting circumstances ; or the most monstrous mushroom-growth of empire that ever struck root in
corruption, to swell to deceptive dimensions, and thence dwindle into swift decay ? Thou canst not be both. Art thou
either—or neither ?

Has Punch, with Prussia in Bulgaria and at Erzeroum, a right to tit smoking the cigar of composure on the
stone-wall of insular impassibility, or ought he to be doing penance in his own sheets for his mockery of more penetrating
piercers into the Millstones between which are ground out the Destinies of Nations in the mighty World-Mill ?

Such was the question which, after much distracting study of London's many-minded newspaper organs—summer sun
and iced cups and nerve-soothing Nicotian aiding—-Punch pondered under the shade of his own laurels.

Suddenly there seemed to stand by him a shadow—yet not a shadow, but a very solid substance—a Presence as of a
brother-Briton, but with a more settled purpose in his face, and a more searching sharpness in his eye, than belongs
to mere mortal. And the Presence stretched out its hand so that the shadovv fell across Punch's brow7, and straight
it was as if he had passed suddeuly from the fierce heat and ghastly glare of the Black Country of Political Polemics, all
lit up with blazing cpaestions, into a cool region of sweet airs, and cooling waters, whereof it was revealed to him, he knew
not how, that the Presence was the Presiding Power.

" This is an age of Examinations," said the Presence, " though as yet 1 have not admitted them into my
system, unless when, like Mr. Cook's Tours, they can be ' personally conducted,'—that is, put under the guidance and
correction of Common Sense, your humble Servant--"

" My ever loyally acknowledged, and to the best of my ability faithfully served, Master," cried Punch, prostrating

himself.

" I rule," replied the Presence, " as far as I yet do rule in England, in the person of my valued ward, Queen Victoria.
We have just celebrated the Fortieth Anniversary of her reign. Let us drink her health and long life in a cup suiting alike
the time and the toast—cool as her head, clear as her understanding, strong as her sense, and bland as her temper. They
that are loyal to her, are loyal to me. But, methinks, I have rarely seen that loyalty put to greater strain than of late."

" Your Majesty surprises me," observed Punch, respectfully. " The present claims to be eminently the age of Common

Sense."

" Ritualism and Home-Rule, Spiritualism and Foreign-Loan-Financing, Continental Levies and Papal Infallibdity,
China-Mania and Oxford ^Esthetics, Brotherhood of the Holy Cross and Russophobia to the contrary notwithstanding ? "