Punch (89.1885)

October 31, 1385.]

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI

2( 5

TOPICS OF TO-DAY.

Treated by Dumb-Crambo Junior.

■ Proposed 'Am-Bass-adore-I-all Despatch of a Detachment to

Conference.

Strum-djah.

The Armstrong Trial.

" Dis-establishment! "

m' 'n'jt 11

Helen Taylor, her name and a-dre83 Mr. Maple, if elected for St. Pancras,

which be camb-er-well.

will alwa> s be in the Yan !!

POLITICS AND POLITENESS;

OR, WHY NOT IN THIS STYLE ?

Lord Randolph Churchill, addressing an Agricultural Meeting in
a large marquee at King's Lynn yesterday, began by deprecating the
vituperative style of eloquence which had become so common in
English politics. (Loud and prolonged cheering.) He had himself,
he was aware, said some harsh things of his opponents, but he had
the satisfaction of knowing that he had not really meant one of them.
[Laughter.) Personally, he did not consider that the fabric of our
Constitution would be irstantly dissolved if we agreed to abandon
the present oratorical presumption, which was that every Politician
who differed from j on was an Adventurer actuated by the meanest
motives, who had only been saved by £ocd luck from being tried for
housebreaking, arson, and forgery, while everybody on your own side
was an Angel of Light. (Sensation.) for examplehe was quite

sure that in advocating the compulsory'purchase of land for allot-
ments, Mr. Chamberlain honestly believed that the scheme was a
practicable one, and that it involved no injustice to the owners of
land, but, on both points, he extremely regretted that he was unable
to agree with Mr. Chamberlain. [Cheers.) It was of course open to
him to say that the Radicals were only shamming sympathy with the
labourer, and that gentltmen with top-hats and black coats were by
nature debarred from knowing anything about the wants of the rural
population. [Laughter.) The first statement, however, would be
grossly uncharitable, and the second utterly ridiculous. [Cheers.)
No, he bi-lievtd the motives of his opponents to be at least as pure
and good as his own; but he could not help thinking that some of
their proposals were mistaken. He was rather inclined to fancy that
they were, unintentionally of course, raising false hopes all over the
country, but that did not seem to be a conclusive reason why ho
should brand them as hypocrites, thieves, and liars. (Loud cheers,
and expressions of surprise, amid which the noble Lord resumed his
seat.)

Mr. Chamberlain, last night, addressed a large gathering of his
constituents, at Birmingham. He said

" I think I ought at once to put myself right with you, by saying,
that probably a great many of my views are incorrect, and most of
my facts utterly wrong. (Cries of" Oh ! oh ! " followed by cheers.) I
confess I do not pretend to infallibility in politics. You must take
my views for what they are really worth, which may very likely be
precious little. (" Oh ! oh ! " and laughter.) Now, having made that
admission, I think we shall get along much more comfortably. I trust
that Lord Salisbury, when he next makes one of his cleyer and in-
teresting speeches, will imitate my modesty. (Cheers.) We must,
I think, acknowledge the great ability which Lord Salisbury brings
to the service of his Q,ueen and country. (Dissent.) Nay, let us try
and give the Prime Minister his due. (Laughter.) He is, I repeat,
a man of great ability, mistaken in many things, and certainly too
dogmatic; but we must give him credit, as fair-minded men, for
having settled the Burmah Question, and half-settled the Afghan
and Egyptian difficulties, in a satisfactory manner. (" Hear, hear J")
What, however, you will have to decide in November is whether you
are willing to intrust the destinies of the nation to him for five or six
years, and I do not think I am going beyond the limits of courtesy
and impartiality when I say that the record of the Tory Party in the
past is not such as to inspire us with confidence in their reforming
zeal in the future." (Cheers.) The Right Hon. Gentleman con-
cluded by saying, that if Lord Salisbury would adopt free education,
local councils, and compulsory sale of allotments, he, for one, would
cordially welcome the accession of a Conservative Ministry to Office
and to Power.

The meeting separated shortly afterwards in some confusion.

The Marquis of Salisbury, in the course of a speech delivered yes-
terday before the Brighton and South-Coast "Habitation" of the
Primrose League, remarked that there had been some dispute as to
who ought to have the credit of the passing of the Franchise Bill.
"It would be easy for me." said the noble Marquis, "to maintain
that the Tories, and the Tories alone, passed that measure through
Parliament. But then that statement would have the slight disad-
vantage of being untrue. (Laughter.) I do not understand why I
should not at once admit that we formerly opposed the extension of
the Franchise to labourers, honestly believing them to be unfitted
for a vote, but that we subsequently were reassured on this point.
If the merit of proposing the measure belongs, as I quite admit it
does, to the Liberals, the merit of not opposing it—nay, of helping it
on—belongs to the Tories. (Cheers.) I notice that Lord Derby has
stated that the Torv Foreign Policy would be one of ' swagger and
bloodshed.' Now, Lord Debby is a relative of my own, and as such
I might be expected to do what is vulgarly called ' giving it him
hot.' (Laughter.) I might say that I wondered such a statement
did not choke in his throat, but then the remark would, I fear, be
exceedingly rude on my part. What I do say is that, acting, no
doubt, from the best intentions, Mr. Gladstone in his Egyptian
policy was not very successful, and that, therefore, it does not lie in
the mouths of Liberals to taunt us with our Foreign Policv. (Cheers.)
At the same time I willingly acknowledge that Mr. Gladstone's
action in Egypt was guided by patriotic motives, and that he met
with immense difficulties. ("Hear! hear!" and "Oh! Oh!")
Why should we not be honest and fair in these matters ? We may
depend upon it that, although a great deal is said about reform of
procedure in Parliament, the procedure which most needs reforming
is that adopted by Members of both Houses when they are on their
Party Platforms." (Laughter and loud cheering, during which the
noble Marquis entered his " Special," and returned to Town.)

Strange, but True.—Fair-play pugilists are like safety matches,
they strike otily " on the box."

A New Edition.—The Bacclmof Euripides. His Smokiiig Mix lure.

tot. Lxxxrx.

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