DOI Heft:
January 28, 1882
DOI Seite / Zitierlink: https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17752#0047
Januaby 28, 1882.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVAPI.
AN AMEPJCAN WAG.
“A local legislator in one of the Southern
States of America has introduced a proposal to
make it ohligatory to inscribe the name of the
physician on the tombstones of deceased persons.”
—Scotsman.
What did he die of, say, oh. say,
Carcinoma or Enteritis ?
Did he come to the fatal day,
By the aid of Pericarditis ?
Here they name his medical man;
Was he of drugs a neat concocter ?
Did he do all a doctor ean,
And if he did, why hlame the doctor ?
Was the patient a sober soul,
Never imbibing rum or brandy;
Or did his eyes with ardour roll,
Seeing the Bourbon whiskey handy ?
Did the doctor remark, with pain,
That he would reach his final haven
If he should touch Old Rye again;
For if he did—let that be graven.
Underneath some of the best photo-
graphs of those Beautiful Beings, the
Lotties _and Totties of the Theatrical
World, is written the name, “ Downey.”
It is not spelt correctly, but the idea is
evidently most appropriate.
“ Ah ! ” said Mrs. Ramsbotham, shaking
her head over the “ good oldtimes,”—“ you
may write ‘ Knickerbocker ’ over them, for
their glory is departed.”
CANDID.
Counsel. “ Why are you so very precise in your Statement ?
telung an Untruth ? ” Witness (promptly). “ No, Sir ! ”
Are you afraid of
YOUNG STAGERS (AND THEIR GUARDIANS).
_ Yesterday heing the first Official Monthly Meeting of the Execu-
tive Committee of the newly-established School of Dramatic Art, the
proceedings, in consequenee of the natural surprise of nearly everyone
of the Memhers at finding himself on the Committee at aU, were of an
unusually interesting character, and there was a large attendance.
After Miss Le Thiere, the Lady Matron of the School, had given in
her R,eport, in which she made a very strong and reasonable protest
against the advisability, even in the interests of Art, of continuing
the usual property banquet, which has hitherto been served to the
one Student of the Establishment, in lieu of the principal meal of
the day, upon the Chairman intimating that a special Sub-Committee
would be appointed to subject the diet to the test of prolonged per-
sonal experience, the usuai vote of thanks was passed, and the pro-
ceedings were about to terminate, when several Memhers, among whom
were Lord Wharncliefe, Lord Lytton, 'Lord Rowton, the Hon. A.
Yoree, and Mr. C. C. Bethune, sprang suddenly to their feet, and,
amidst some altercation, endeavoured to catch the Chairman’s eye.
On order being restored, Mr. C. C. Bethune, who had persistently
claimed a hearing, said that “ he felt he could put into a very few
words all his honourable colleagues wished to express.” They had,
with him, one common question to ask the public*and that question
was, “ What on earth are we doing here ? ” (Cheers.) For his own
part, he could only reply, “ For the life of me, I can’t tell you ! ”
{Laughter.) People, owing to a political crisis, had heard of Lord
Rowton—(“ YesP frorn Lord Wharncliffe)—but who in the world
has ever heard of “ Mr. C. C. Bethune” ? (Loud and prolonged
cheering, which lasted for several minutes.)
Mr. H. Gardner rose. He said he considered Mr. Comyns Carr
and Mr. E. M. Underdown a couple of amateurs.
Mr. Comyns Carr.—“ You ’re another ! ” (Roars of laughter.)
Mr. Alfred Thompson protested against wasting the time of the
Meeting in frivolity. They had met for business. He had hrought
wit'h him a new design of his own for the academicai dress of the
Principal. He had, he admitted, used flesh-colour largely ; but,
slashed with Hooker’s green at the shoulder, violct satin drawers,
and the usual College cap in Grenoese plush, he considered the cos-
tume commanding and appropriate. (“ Hear ! ”)
Mr. A. W. Dubourg asked, diffidently, whether it wouldn’t be cold.
_The Hon. L. Wingfield.—“ Perhaps the honourable Grentlemanis
himself afraid of another frost.” (Loud laughter.)
Sir Coutts-Lindsay rose. He said he thought the hest way would
be, after the evident feeling manifested in some quarters, to take the
sense of the Committee, if possible, by a Motion. He wished it to
have a still wider and more cosmopolitan character. He proposed
that in addition to the present list of names there he added those of
the Duke of Korfolk, Messrs. Crosse and Blackwell, Mr. Eno,
Mr. Alfred G. Yance, the Editor of BradshaiCs Railway Guide,
H.R.H. the Duke of Cambridge, and the surviving Executors of the
late Madame Tussaud. (Uproar.)
Mr. Lionel Tennyson, amidstindescribable confusion was under-
stood to say. he thought nobody had ever heard of him. (Cries of
“ Right!” “ ThaVs so /” and cheers.)
Captain Henry Hozier rose. He said he felt himself to be an ex-
cellent fello w— (cheers)—but he wanted to know what he and several
other worthy Members were supposed to know about the Stage ? He
proposed that his name, together with those of Mr. Edmund Rout-
ledge, Mr. Frederick Locker, Mr. E. Pigott, and. Mr. _ Scott
Gatty be struck off in a lump. (Roars of laughter, in wlxich the
Motion was carried unanimously witliout a division.)
On the confusion again subsiding, and Mr. Hamilton A’ide,
expressing somewhat warmly his surprise that he had not been
included in the last resolution, the meeting was adjourned by general
consent and the proceedings terminated.
THE CHAUEEL TUHNEL.
Vive la France ! and not now, as of old, Vive la guerre !
Although Neptune may greet us with cynical smile,
We shall suifer no more from that sadwa/ de mer,
When we ’ve linked by a railway fair France with this isle.
And though Wolseley express some undignified fears,
We shall fearlessly tunnel the Channel, and find,
When the work is achieved by our smart engineers,_
That the labour ’s heen done for the good of mankind.
Then let ’s hope that the Tunnel may prosper, in vain
Let the croakers talk on, there ’s a prize to be won ;
With the strong hand of science we tunnel the main,
Though the years will roll on ere the great work is done.
But we look to the future with confident glance,
And one day, when two nations ’neath ocean shall fare,
Will not Europe in envy exclaim “ Vive la France /”
And applauding our energy, “ Vive l' Angleterre ! ”
School-Board Amateur Theatricals.—Inrehearsal, The Ladies'
Battle.
AN AMEPJCAN WAG.
“A local legislator in one of the Southern
States of America has introduced a proposal to
make it ohligatory to inscribe the name of the
physician on the tombstones of deceased persons.”
—Scotsman.
What did he die of, say, oh. say,
Carcinoma or Enteritis ?
Did he come to the fatal day,
By the aid of Pericarditis ?
Here they name his medical man;
Was he of drugs a neat concocter ?
Did he do all a doctor ean,
And if he did, why hlame the doctor ?
Was the patient a sober soul,
Never imbibing rum or brandy;
Or did his eyes with ardour roll,
Seeing the Bourbon whiskey handy ?
Did the doctor remark, with pain,
That he would reach his final haven
If he should touch Old Rye again;
For if he did—let that be graven.
Underneath some of the best photo-
graphs of those Beautiful Beings, the
Lotties _and Totties of the Theatrical
World, is written the name, “ Downey.”
It is not spelt correctly, but the idea is
evidently most appropriate.
“ Ah ! ” said Mrs. Ramsbotham, shaking
her head over the “ good oldtimes,”—“ you
may write ‘ Knickerbocker ’ over them, for
their glory is departed.”
CANDID.
Counsel. “ Why are you so very precise in your Statement ?
telung an Untruth ? ” Witness (promptly). “ No, Sir ! ”
Are you afraid of
YOUNG STAGERS (AND THEIR GUARDIANS).
_ Yesterday heing the first Official Monthly Meeting of the Execu-
tive Committee of the newly-established School of Dramatic Art, the
proceedings, in consequenee of the natural surprise of nearly everyone
of the Memhers at finding himself on the Committee at aU, were of an
unusually interesting character, and there was a large attendance.
After Miss Le Thiere, the Lady Matron of the School, had given in
her R,eport, in which she made a very strong and reasonable protest
against the advisability, even in the interests of Art, of continuing
the usual property banquet, which has hitherto been served to the
one Student of the Establishment, in lieu of the principal meal of
the day, upon the Chairman intimating that a special Sub-Committee
would be appointed to subject the diet to the test of prolonged per-
sonal experience, the usuai vote of thanks was passed, and the pro-
ceedings were about to terminate, when several Memhers, among whom
were Lord Wharncliefe, Lord Lytton, 'Lord Rowton, the Hon. A.
Yoree, and Mr. C. C. Bethune, sprang suddenly to their feet, and,
amidst some altercation, endeavoured to catch the Chairman’s eye.
On order being restored, Mr. C. C. Bethune, who had persistently
claimed a hearing, said that “ he felt he could put into a very few
words all his honourable colleagues wished to express.” They had,
with him, one common question to ask the public*and that question
was, “ What on earth are we doing here ? ” (Cheers.) For his own
part, he could only reply, “ For the life of me, I can’t tell you ! ”
{Laughter.) People, owing to a political crisis, had heard of Lord
Rowton—(“ YesP frorn Lord Wharncliffe)—but who in the world
has ever heard of “ Mr. C. C. Bethune” ? (Loud and prolonged
cheering, which lasted for several minutes.)
Mr. H. Gardner rose. He said he considered Mr. Comyns Carr
and Mr. E. M. Underdown a couple of amateurs.
Mr. Comyns Carr.—“ You ’re another ! ” (Roars of laughter.)
Mr. Alfred Thompson protested against wasting the time of the
Meeting in frivolity. They had met for business. He had hrought
wit'h him a new design of his own for the academicai dress of the
Principal. He had, he admitted, used flesh-colour largely ; but,
slashed with Hooker’s green at the shoulder, violct satin drawers,
and the usual College cap in Grenoese plush, he considered the cos-
tume commanding and appropriate. (“ Hear ! ”)
Mr. A. W. Dubourg asked, diffidently, whether it wouldn’t be cold.
_The Hon. L. Wingfield.—“ Perhaps the honourable Grentlemanis
himself afraid of another frost.” (Loud laughter.)
Sir Coutts-Lindsay rose. He said he thought the hest way would
be, after the evident feeling manifested in some quarters, to take the
sense of the Committee, if possible, by a Motion. He wished it to
have a still wider and more cosmopolitan character. He proposed
that in addition to the present list of names there he added those of
the Duke of Korfolk, Messrs. Crosse and Blackwell, Mr. Eno,
Mr. Alfred G. Yance, the Editor of BradshaiCs Railway Guide,
H.R.H. the Duke of Cambridge, and the surviving Executors of the
late Madame Tussaud. (Uproar.)
Mr. Lionel Tennyson, amidstindescribable confusion was under-
stood to say. he thought nobody had ever heard of him. (Cries of
“ Right!” “ ThaVs so /” and cheers.)
Captain Henry Hozier rose. He said he felt himself to be an ex-
cellent fello w— (cheers)—but he wanted to know what he and several
other worthy Members were supposed to know about the Stage ? He
proposed that his name, together with those of Mr. Edmund Rout-
ledge, Mr. Frederick Locker, Mr. E. Pigott, and. Mr. _ Scott
Gatty be struck off in a lump. (Roars of laughter, in wlxich the
Motion was carried unanimously witliout a division.)
On the confusion again subsiding, and Mr. Hamilton A’ide,
expressing somewhat warmly his surprise that he had not been
included in the last resolution, the meeting was adjourned by general
consent and the proceedings terminated.
THE CHAUEEL TUHNEL.
Vive la France ! and not now, as of old, Vive la guerre !
Although Neptune may greet us with cynical smile,
We shall suifer no more from that sadwa/ de mer,
When we ’ve linked by a railway fair France with this isle.
And though Wolseley express some undignified fears,
We shall fearlessly tunnel the Channel, and find,
When the work is achieved by our smart engineers,_
That the labour ’s heen done for the good of mankind.
Then let ’s hope that the Tunnel may prosper, in vain
Let the croakers talk on, there ’s a prize to be won ;
With the strong hand of science we tunnel the main,
Though the years will roll on ere the great work is done.
But we look to the future with confident glance,
And one day, when two nations ’neath ocean shall fare,
Will not Europe in envy exclaim “ Vive la France /”
And applauding our energy, “ Vive l' Angleterre ! ”
School-Board Amateur Theatricals.—Inrehearsal, The Ladies'
Battle.