[February 25, 1882,
Street Boy. “ Oh ! take cabe you don’t fall through, Sir ! ”
“Robeht” to the Rescue.
So the threttened Wolcano is cnm at last! and Mr. Froth instead of sinking as was
naterally to be expected, has acshally come to the fore, the other 3 being Beall, Bilk and
Arcourt. Pleasant company for anghty Arcourt ! He ’ll have to be carefuller of his lang-
'widge than usual when in their sollem sosiety.
I have wentured on preveus occashuns to give the grand old Copperation a word or
two of adwice, fancying somehows as I haven’t stood behind the chairs and heard the
conwersations of the most eminent Pollyticians and Judges and Statesmen and Common
Counselmen of the day, without having heard a thing or two that I can put together for the
benefit of “that ancient and_ distinguished body,” as the Queen werry propperly calls ’em,
if they ’re not too proud to lissen.
My first adwice would be, don’t yield a inch, it ’s a sine of weakness.
You ’ve plenty of friends to back you, because they ’re all in the same boat, so to speak,
that is to sayjust a little old-fashioned perhaps, and just a little slow, in these hurrying
telegraphic times, but if they are a going
to abollish everythink as is old and respect-
able merelybecause it is old and respectable,
it will be a rum sort of world when these
Gents as is neither old nor respeetable has
quite done with it.
Take that grandest of all grand institu-
shuns the House of Lords. Won’t they
stand by you to the bitter end ? Is they a
likely body to go for to upset old institu-
shuns at the eall of that Scotch Gentleman
the Firth of Forth, though he is a M.P., or
rather as I should call him a M.T. as regards
branes ? Certainly not, and why ?—because
if once you begins abolishing everythink as
ain’t of much use, I should like to know
where you ’re a going to stop.
Some low fellows laughs at Common
Councilmen because they wears blue dresses,
and when they drives through a crowd with
that aughty demeaner that so well becoms
their lofty station, the grinning Mob calls
’em Butchers, but if offishial costume is tn
be sneered at, how about the personal ap-
pearance of the Royal Commissioners as
they sits in the sacred. House of Lords with
their crimson robes on and their ermine
tippets and their Cocked Hats, a parsing
the Bills as the Queen sends ’em to parse.
Is not that somethink to deepen the affec-
tionet regard evry true-born Britton has for
his country, speshally when the Gent as the
Queen sends to ’em, won’t speak a single
word excep in the French langwidge, and,
as I am told, not werry good French nee-
ther ? Then there ’s some other old Insti-
tushuns as I knows on perfeshonally, siti-
vate in the Temple and thereabouts (warn’t
it once said a long time ago as the Temple
was a good deal like a den of thieves ?), and
don’t they know what a good dinner is, and
don’t they eat plenty on ’em too, at sum-
body else’s expense ? Why at some times
of the year the whole place smeRs of din-
ner, and a lovely smell it is to a poor
hungry Barister as never gets no briefs
excep through some Public Office, such as
the Post Office for instance, and then only
in return for his wotes in the House of
Ah ! some Gents has nice idears of inde-
pendence and patriotism as will sell their
wotes and sell their constituents and sell
their werry soles, and all for a few beg-
garly guinees for Goverment briefs.
What a lovely world these reforming
Quacks and Quakers will make of it by the:
time they have quite finished with it!
There ’s to be no old Institooshuns, ev’ry-
think ’s to be what some truly great man
once called “ beastly new.” There ’s to be
no colour in anything, excep I spose drab,
no fun, no humour, no feasting, excep in
Inns of Court, no Lord Mayor’s Show, m>
What a lively idea!
Just another Pint. Who takes care of
the pore Widders and Orfans like the Cor-
poration and the City Companys ? Who
spends so much on Eddycashun as theydoes?
I knows of one Company as gives away no
less than £10,000 a year in Charity ! And
these reformingPatriots(I ’mtold l)r. John-
son described ’em once) would take it all
away and spend it in rates. That ’s a trewly
Christian idear that is ! Save the Rates
i and starve the Poor !
! An lor’ when I was waitin’ on the Ladies
and Gents at the Mansion Ouse Ball last
j Thursday, and seed the trooly ammirable
way as evrythink was done, with the
! Lord Mare and Lady Maress in all their
glory, I says is this ere to wanish and to
melt into a “hairy nothink,” as the Pote
says ? Never says I wile my name is