DOI issue:
March 25, 1882
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17752#0145
138
PUNCH, OII THE LONJJON CHAIHVAPU. [Maroh 25, I8b2.
READY! AYE READY!”
Mrs. Ponsonby cle Tomkyns. “ That Lahy was evidently intended by Nature foe a Chinese, Sir Charles ! I wonder
WHO SHE CAN BE ?”
Sir Charles. “She happens to be my Sister, Lady Plantagenet de la Zouche. May I ask why you think Nature
INTENDED HER FOR A ClIINESE ? ”
Mrs. P. dc T. (cqual, as usual, to.thc emergency). “ She struck me as having such exquisitely Small Feet/”
PUNCH'S PARLIAMENTARY REPORM BILL.
All Members of Parliament to be paid an annnal salary by their
constituents, snfficient to secure a certain standard of professional
ability.
No Member of Parliament to be a Director of more than ten public
Companies, or to hold more than two public appointments at the
same time.
Every Memher of Parliament to be in his place on the first of
.Tanuary, and to remain in his place, with the exception of a month’s
i holiday in the autumn, until the first of January following.
Parliamentary, or office-hours, to be from ten o’clock in the
morning until six o’clock at night.
AU extra hours after six o’cloek at night to be discountenanced as
much as possible ; but when inevitable, to be treated and paid i'or as
“ overtime.”
In all “ counts-out ” (if any) the Members absent, unless from
unavoidable illness, to be fined not less than one guinea each, the
money to be paid into a fund for aged and infirm Members.
No Bill to be discussed more than ninety-six hours in the aggre-
gate, and no Act of Parliament to be longer than four sheets of
folio foolscap.
All purely local questions to be fully discussed in departmental
Parliament—or Committee-Rooms—one devoted to Ireland, and
another to Scotland, and to be brought only before the General
Assembly when ripe for action.
Every Member of Parliament to be subject to re-election every
year, and to dismksal by constituents at th'ree months’ notice.
No.taxes, on any pretence, to be voted until near the close of the
working year, and after the annual stoek-taking in Deeember.
The country to be divided, at once, into electoral districts, so that
population and representation may be brought into harmonv with
each other.
No provincial Member to have a voice or a vote in or upon any
question—such as the opening and closing of public-houses, the
regulation of theatres, or the dismal Sabbath—which may be properly
regarded as a purely metropolitan question.
All bad language and misbehaviour during debate to be checked
by fines, and, if necessary, by suspension of salary, in the discretion
of the Speaker or Chairman.
THE MOST-FAYOURED-NATION CLAUSE—AND EFFECT.
JSladame Julie, of the Chausee d’Antin. Tant mieux, we shan’t
see so many of those abominably ugly ulsters that used to spot the
beautiful Boulevards, and there will be an end of those dowdy straw
hats and bonnets. At last we shall be left alone with our Taste. No
more cokl cream, Justine ? How am I to put on my rouge ? It is
shameful, four-hundred francs a pot, because of the tarifL It is
really too dear even for a complexion. What are our Legislators
thinking of ? They are tempting Providence, for most. assuredly
I if we go out in our own hair and our own skins—-there’ll be a
Revolution.
Miss Tosie (Memberess of Bectivite Home Stuffs (and No?isense)
Society). Do without France, indeed ! Just let them see. Give us
Huddersfield and we ’ll do without the world. Letme see, I am going
to be married next week, and they say a nice linsey wolsey—No ; I
can’t go to church in a linsey wolsey, and the Committee may say
what they like about a handsome cheviot—the Committee isn’t. going
to be married, I suppose, and can’t feel like a bride. I regard the
suggestion of cotton print as a positive insult. There is no help_ for
it, Papa will have to spend his next year’s income on a Lyons silk;
and as for the orange-flowers, as they must come from Nice, I sup-
pose all he gave us to begin house-keeping with must go for them.
And oh, what will Fred think of me if I appear without Eau des
Fees—and in Bloomsbury-made boots ?
PUNCH, OII THE LONJJON CHAIHVAPU. [Maroh 25, I8b2.
READY! AYE READY!”
Mrs. Ponsonby cle Tomkyns. “ That Lahy was evidently intended by Nature foe a Chinese, Sir Charles ! I wonder
WHO SHE CAN BE ?”
Sir Charles. “She happens to be my Sister, Lady Plantagenet de la Zouche. May I ask why you think Nature
INTENDED HER FOR A ClIINESE ? ”
Mrs. P. dc T. (cqual, as usual, to.thc emergency). “ She struck me as having such exquisitely Small Feet/”
PUNCH'S PARLIAMENTARY REPORM BILL.
All Members of Parliament to be paid an annnal salary by their
constituents, snfficient to secure a certain standard of professional
ability.
No Member of Parliament to be a Director of more than ten public
Companies, or to hold more than two public appointments at the
same time.
Every Memher of Parliament to be in his place on the first of
.Tanuary, and to remain in his place, with the exception of a month’s
i holiday in the autumn, until the first of January following.
Parliamentary, or office-hours, to be from ten o’clock in the
morning until six o’clock at night.
AU extra hours after six o’cloek at night to be discountenanced as
much as possible ; but when inevitable, to be treated and paid i'or as
“ overtime.”
In all “ counts-out ” (if any) the Members absent, unless from
unavoidable illness, to be fined not less than one guinea each, the
money to be paid into a fund for aged and infirm Members.
No Bill to be discussed more than ninety-six hours in the aggre-
gate, and no Act of Parliament to be longer than four sheets of
folio foolscap.
All purely local questions to be fully discussed in departmental
Parliament—or Committee-Rooms—one devoted to Ireland, and
another to Scotland, and to be brought only before the General
Assembly when ripe for action.
Every Member of Parliament to be subject to re-election every
year, and to dismksal by constituents at th'ree months’ notice.
No.taxes, on any pretence, to be voted until near the close of the
working year, and after the annual stoek-taking in Deeember.
The country to be divided, at once, into electoral districts, so that
population and representation may be brought into harmonv with
each other.
No provincial Member to have a voice or a vote in or upon any
question—such as the opening and closing of public-houses, the
regulation of theatres, or the dismal Sabbath—which may be properly
regarded as a purely metropolitan question.
All bad language and misbehaviour during debate to be checked
by fines, and, if necessary, by suspension of salary, in the discretion
of the Speaker or Chairman.
THE MOST-FAYOURED-NATION CLAUSE—AND EFFECT.
JSladame Julie, of the Chausee d’Antin. Tant mieux, we shan’t
see so many of those abominably ugly ulsters that used to spot the
beautiful Boulevards, and there will be an end of those dowdy straw
hats and bonnets. At last we shall be left alone with our Taste. No
more cokl cream, Justine ? How am I to put on my rouge ? It is
shameful, four-hundred francs a pot, because of the tarifL It is
really too dear even for a complexion. What are our Legislators
thinking of ? They are tempting Providence, for most. assuredly
I if we go out in our own hair and our own skins—-there’ll be a
Revolution.
Miss Tosie (Memberess of Bectivite Home Stuffs (and No?isense)
Society). Do without France, indeed ! Just let them see. Give us
Huddersfield and we ’ll do without the world. Letme see, I am going
to be married next week, and they say a nice linsey wolsey—No ; I
can’t go to church in a linsey wolsey, and the Committee may say
what they like about a handsome cheviot—the Committee isn’t. going
to be married, I suppose, and can’t feel like a bride. I regard the
suggestion of cotton print as a positive insult. There is no help_ for
it, Papa will have to spend his next year’s income on a Lyons silk;
and as for the orange-flowers, as they must come from Nice, I sup-
pose all he gave us to begin house-keeping with must go for them.
And oh, what will Fred think of me if I appear without Eau des
Fees—and in Bloomsbury-made boots ?