Punch — 82.1882

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[March 25, 1882,

“I am not a pirate,” gasped. the old man,
eonvulsively. ‘‘I have been their prisoner
for years, and have worn this hatef ul disguise.
Behold! ” and so saying, he tore off the
Buocaneer’s dress, his long beard, with which
went a pair of spectacles, a false nose, and a
grey wig, and appeared before them in the
cosiume of an elderly Gfrandee of Spain.

“My name,” he said proudiy, “ is Don

‘' Ha ! ” exclaimed Cachuca, every fibre
in her body thrilling with intense excitement.

“ In consequence of poiitical trouble, I
became a Tabooed Nobleman. For many
years I had to hide my head, as you see,” he
added, pointing to the wig, “ and the Pirates
stole me while I was asleep. Disappointed
at uot obtaining a ransom, they made me
their slave, nay more, their buffoon, for in
the evening they compelled me to dance to
amuse them. Fortunately, when I was
young, I was an accomplished dancer-”

“ You were ! ” sobbed Cachuca.

“ Yes,” hesaid, as turning a pirouette and
standing on one pointed toe, with his left leg
in the air, he gracefully extended his hands
to the weeping girl, “ yes, you inherit the
talent. You are Cachuca, the dancer-”

“ And you P ” inquired Harry, eagerly.

“ Aud I ? -I am her Grand Pa! ”

‘ ‘ I thought my Grrand Pa was executed
long ago,” said Cachuca, simply. Thenthey

“ She is nobly born, then ? ” asked Harry,

“She is,” replied Don Bolero. “Her
father was my son, whose mother did honour
to a long line of Spanish Spriugos Hun-hy-
unos ; her mother was of the great Fandango
family, and her uncle was Don CLiauo di

“ And I am nameless!” sighed Harry.
But there was no time for mournful thoughts,
as the Pirates were already on their track,
and in the offing appeared another vessei
of the same build as that which they were
now iaunching.

Don Bolero now introduced them to the
other captives, who having been his com-
panions in misery were eager to serve as
their crew. They were a Tiller, who had
been kidnapped while he was ploughing the
ocean ; a Painter, who was strongly attached
to the ship when the Pirates captured it; and
j a smail British Ensign, made prisoner in an
i engagement.

They all worked with a will, and in less
than ten minutes the vessel was quite at sea.

“ What’s she doing ? ” asked Harry, as
he watched the Pirate Ship through his glass.

“ Forging ahead,” replied Don Bolero.

“ Another crime ! ” murmured Cachuca.

“I’ll bring ’em to,” said Jack, who had
just loaded one of the biggest guns, “I’ll
send ’em a hundred pound note. You fire
the other,” he said, turning to Harry.

R‘I’m better with my pistol,” replied
Young Harry, citing his revolver as an
instance in point.

Boom—bang—bash !

“ Hooray! ” shouted Sambo. “ Raked her
I fore and after ! shot away her rudder and all
1 her masts.”

i Young Harry and Jack had had some ex-
perience as pupils at a boarding school, which
was now of the grea^est service to them, as
| they knew hoAV Pirates could be boarded by
the weak; so the three lads at once seized
the grappling irons, and knocking all who
attempted to oppose their attack into the
sea, they stood on the deck of the redoubtable
Pitch- Falcon, having first entrusted Cachuca
and Daisy to the care of Don Bolero, and
the two Ship’s Companions fore and aft.

The Pirates drew their swords, the ominous
I clickof their pistols was heard, and they were

about to rush on the three boys, who were
preparedto receive them withtheir revolvers,
when a loud authoritative voice cried—

“ Hold! ”



It proceeded f rom a tall, fierce-looking man,
in a Gfreek dress. In one hand he carried a
sword, in the other a pistol, and a couple of
the national stikkars were in his girdle. His
eyes were lit up with Gfreek fire, as he
addressed the crew.

“ There shall be no more blood shed than is
necessary,” he said, sternly. “ I love Ca-

“ So do I! ” retorted Harry.

“ We will fight for her. If you conquer me,
this ship, with everything in it, is yours. If
I conquer you-”

“ I accept the terms,” cried Harry ; “ but
first, who are you ? ”

“I am Hoheto, the last of the Haz
Pirates. My tirst-lieutenant, Tom Darper-
meibomenos, will swear the men to obey you
should I fall. They know the nature of an

They did : the nature of their oathneed not
here be recorded : enough that they did swear.
Cachuca and Daisv, on the other vessel,
heard and shuddered.

Then the struggle for life and mastery

First they fired their pistols with so excel-
lent an aim that the decks of both vessels
were cleared as if by magic.

Then they drew their swords and daggers.

One, two, three, four—over !

One, two, three, four—under !

The sparks flew about.

Hoheto drew back, and made one tremen-
dous lunge at Harry, who at that instant
was fortunately carried away by excitement
to some distance out of the Pirate’s reach.

Immediately re-turning, Harry saw the
Pirate change colour, but, not to be taken in
by a faint, he rolled his shirt-sleeve up to his
shoulder, to give himself more ease in strik-
ing, and, as he took up his sword-carriage
preparatory to driving the weapon home,
Hoheto gasped, fell back, shrieking, as he
pointed to Harry’s arm-

“ Those marks!—an ‘H’ and a coro-

“ Yes, yes ! ” cried Harry, stooping over

“I am—I am your Wicked Uncle. Your
father was the Earl of IIarf-and-Harford.
He married the girl I loved. To be revenged,
I stole you out of your little cradle on wheels,
—your "draught Bass-inet—and left you by the
roadside. Then, as there were warrants out
against me, I joined the Revolutionary
Greeks, and pronounced for the Haz Pirates.”

“ But my father—my mother-

“ Alas! your mother, the Countess of Harf-
and-Harford, fell a victim to drains; and
your father stood too long at the bar of the
house ; — when somebody came up to him
af ter some hours he was found there flat, and
within a quarter of an hour he was quite

“ Then I am-”

“ You are the Earl of Harf-and-Harford,
Marquis of Froth, Ivnight of Malta,
Owner of mines of Quartz, landsfrom Beeritz
to Beersheba, your coronet set in early purls
with the ancient motto of the family round
it, ‘ Homo sum, niliil alumimum, me
pewter' .... the papers are in the locker
—bless you ! ”

“ Oh. Uncle, you ’re not going to leave us,”
cried Harry.

“ Yes, tell it. . to my old companions . . the
Marines,” gasped his Uncle, faintly. “ My

hours are numbered: from one up to twelve.
I can’t go beyond twelve.” Then with a sigh,
he added, “ I have lived fast: I am dying as
I lived—dying very—very—fast.”

Once more he turned towards Harry.

“Farewell!” he gasped, “forgive your
Wicked Uncle—and—remember to bury him
as becomes one of the Harf-and-Harfords.”

“ We will get you the best bier thatmoney
can procure,” sobbed Harry, “ and it shall
be carried by four stout porters.” i

His Uncle pressed his hand.

Suddenly the sky darkened—there was a
roar as of a volcano—the sea rose in a huge
spiral cone. . . .


When they recovered themselves, Harry,
Cachuca, and the others, found themselves
safe on their own vessel. The Pitch- Falcon
and her crew had disappeared for ever !

The Wicked Uncle had gone up in the
water-spout, and had been dashed down to
the depths of the sea.

The crew, unable to swim, sank to rise no
more, the last fiercely shouting their well-
known motto, “ Sink and die ! ”

Such was the end of Hoheto and the Haz



A bitter tempestuous night: “A sort of
night,” as Parson Bye, as he sat by his tire-
side, said to himself, “ when one wouldn’t
even turn one’s toes out.” So he kept them
in the hot water in which, during the greater
part of his life, he had mostly found himself.

A knock at the door ! A knock !

“Yes,” cried a fresh young voice, which
he instantly recognised,—“ a knock aud a
ring ; ” and so saying, Harry, wearing an
Eari’s coronet, accompanied by his blushing
betrothed Cachuca, knelt before the good
old man, holding up the wedding ring.

“ Bless you, my children ! ” exoliimed
Parson Bye, quite taken aback. He was
taken aback so far as to return to that night
when Harry borrowed the fifty pounds.

“ Here is the sum twice told,” said Harry,
as Don Bolero stepped forward and pre-
sented a purse to the astonished ecclesiasue.

“Now then! marry us ! ” cried Harry
and Cachuca together.

“ By all means,” replied Parson Bye, joy-
fully. “ No Fees ! ” Then hepaused. “ Ai e
you licensed to be married on the pre-

• Q J7

mises r

“ I am the Earl of Harf-and-Harford,”
replied Harry, proudly. “ And am eutitled
to all the prerogatives of the Licensed

“ Then you know the sign ? ” faltered the

Harry gave him a peculiar tap.

“ That.’s it!” exclaimed Parson^ Bye,
gleefully. “ Y'ou are, indeed, the Earl of

Harf- and-Harford . ’ ’


The next week the Earl and Countess of
Harf-and-Harford gave a succession of
splendid hops to all their tenantry. Jack
married Daisy. Sambo took to novel-writing,
under the name of Mr. Black, and was very
successful. Don Bolero oceupied himself
in gardening. One day while instructing a
hoy how to cut capers, he broke off short.
and. was never again half the man he had
been. Subsequently he took to his aspa-
ragus-bed, from which he never rose again.

The Earl and Countess lived happily ever
afterwards, and heard no more of the Haz
Pirates, except in ordinary conversation.

*#* Thc next in Our Boys' Novelist's Series
will be full of thrilling incidents, but of a
rather morc domestic and scholastic charader.
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