DOI Heft:
May 6, 1882
DOI Seite / Zitierlink: https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17752#0215
208
PUNCH, 0R THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[May 6, 1882.
F.SSENCE O F PARLIAMENT.
EXTRACTED FROM
THE DIARY OF TOBY, M.P.
Monday Night, April 24.—Air full of rumoiirs of new Baronets.
In fact, as Sir Charles Forster says, instead of calling 1 this the
Budget night, it ’s the Barry’nite. According to rumour, almost
everyone has got a lift. Look naturally for the name of Jomv
PejSTDEK. If Baronetcies are to be given for public services, surely
the man who has put half-a-dozen girdles round the earth should
be hailed “ Sir John.” But don’t find him in this list. Perhaps
there ’s a second edition reserved for men who have done substantial
serviee.
There are Members who respeetfully address me as “ Sir Toby.”
That also premature. Since I heard of these things coming on,
called to mind Peter’s procedure when
the new Ministry was formed. Shut him-
self up. Remained at home in the expecta-
tion of being sent for. No use me going
home, since here ’s the fount of honour
sitting on the Treasury Bench, having just
made his Budget Speech. Casually walked
once or twice between the Treasury Bench
_ and the Table, so as to give him the oppor-
lne Budget. tunity of mentioning any little matter he
had in his mind. Only nodded, with a “ How do, Toby?” Am
glad of it. These titles are empty things. As the poet says, “A
breath may blow them, so a breath be blowed.” G-ladstone and
myself will remain plain “ Mr.”
But there ’s Joseph Gtllis. Seems no doubt that henceforward we
shall have to be more respectful to him. Sir Joseph Gillis Biggar,
Bart., of Porkchops House, in the County of Cavan, isn’t to be trified
with. This, it is said, is to be the last attempt to solve the Irish
question.
“ Let ’s have JosephGillis on our side,” Bright said at the last
Cabinet Council, “ and all will be well.” Joey B. is reported to
have heen rather coy at first. Said he thought Mr. Healy would
cut him—Mr. Healy, whose proud reflection is that he doesn’t
know what a Prince is like, wouldn’t recognise it if he saw it.
Pointed out to Joseph that there is a difference between a Royal
Prince, and what J. B. calls “ a Barn’t.” This was, however, only
his slyness. Fact is he jumped at ofi'er. Expect there ’ll be a deai
of trouble with him. Says he ’s going to sit above the Gangway
now. He ’s not proud, he protests. But something is due to his
rank. Has given notice to Arthttr O’Connor that he must get
some one else to give him a lift home in a cah when the House sits
late. Or Sir Joseph says, if there is no other Member going that
way, they will have a "four-wheeler, and O’Connor shall ride on
the box.
All this very dreadful. Afraid our Joseph Gillis is for ever
lost to us. Will take an opportunity, on going into Committee of
Supply, of saying a few words on the enervating influence of Royal
favour.
JBusiness done.— Joseph Gillis made Barn’t. Budget brought in.
Tuesday.—The Conservative party and the country had better keep
j their eye on Stanley Leighton. There is in him
the making of a great orator. At present a little
clerical in method of delivery. Sir Charles Forster
tells me he was originally designed for the Church,
hut altered his mind. The Church lost a very good
curate. To the charms of oratorical manners familiar
in country churches, Stanley has added a “ haw-
haw ” manner, popularly supposed to be connected 1' w Member.
with the Mess Room.
Combination of Curate and Guardsman highly effective. Brought
on to-night Resolution about Lunatics in Private Asylums. Wants
them kept hy State. Been reading Valeritine Vox, also Lewis
Wingeield. Ingenuous imagination excited. Believes Mr. Glad-
stone keeps in private mad-houses as many persons as he can get
hold of who will not vote for him. This tyranny not to he endured.
Away with Private Mad-Houses !
“ Let none be for private parties,
But ali be for the State,”
as Macatjlay somewhere Lays it down.
Curious access_ of interest in lunatics displayed by gentlemen
opposed to marriage with the Deceased Wife’s Sister Bill. [Never
could understand how a Deceased Wife could have a Sister Bill.
Expect it ’s one of those errors constantly made in the printing de-
partment. Should read, “ Marriage with Deceased Wife’s Brother
Bill.”] Resolution in favour of Bill down on Orders. If the talk on
lunatics can be kept up^till half-past twelve, the Motion, being
opposed, can’t come on. So Members being averse to the matrimo-
nial prospects of the bereaved Brother Bill, displayed an extraordi-
nary acquaintance with the subject of lunacy. Tom Collins argued
at length. Quite surprised at the impatience on the other side.
Those who would see Brother Bill’s bereavement cheered by a
happy union, sit and growl.
Beresford PIope really quite informing on
the subject. Sort of Enquire Within on Every-
thing Relating to Lunatics. All nonsense about
cruelty in private asylums, he says; can’t be
done. “ Mr. Speaker,” he said, putting the
fingers of his right hand into the palm of his
left, “ with your permission I will descnbe
preeisely how a man or a woman is confined.”
Roars of laughter. Can’t see the joke myself, The Representation
but suppose it ’s somewhere about. Best to laugh, of Gioucester.
or might be thought stupid. (Quite the Cheese.)
Debate on lunatics kept up with great vigour till half-past twelve,
then suddenly dropped. Brother Bill howled out, and his marriage
indefinitely postponed.
JBusiness done.—Budget Resolution agreed to.
Wednesday Afternoon.—Wonderfully clever speech from Glad-
stone. None of your ordinary kind, where a man tries to let you
know what ’s in his mind. Anyone can do that with more or less
success. Great point about Weg’s speech was that being on his
feet thirty-five minutes talking with full flow of language, in
crowded House intently listening, he sat down leaving matters
about where he fouud them. Beautifully involved sentences.
Whole passages barricaded with conditions, and honeycombed with
subjunctives.
“ Letting T will not wait upon I won't,
Like the cat in the china-shop,”—
as Shakspeare somewhere hath it. Interesting to watch the
countenances of Members intently listening. Any one who has
seen a gentleman on the sunny shores of
the Riveria engaged in the oecupation of
catching mosquitos, may gather a general
impression. Now they had his meaning.
Now they hadn’t. Here it was, and there
it certainly is. Just as you can hear the
whizz of the mosquito, which makes moro
aggravating the quest, they could catch
glimpses of Weg’s meaning. Could hear
Rpnf Arrpnrs its whizz, as it were, all through the half-
hour. But at the end hadn’t got the mos-
quito. And he looked so innoeent, too—so anxious that he should be
comprehended, and that not a shade of his meaning should be lost!
This completed the joy of the afternoon, and madeGEORGiE Hamilton
more than usually wild.
Business done.—New Land Bill brought in by Land League.
Guaranteed to settle Ireland for at least seven weeks.
Thursday Night.—Most people away at Windsor marrying and
giving in marriage. Mr. Charles Lewis and Mr. Philip Callan
divided between them the earlier hours of the sitting.
Intelligent foreigner in the gallery begins to have a
high opinion of the British Parliament. Someone has
been saying something ahout Mr. Callan in the news-
papers. His sensitive mind naturally hurt. So he
comes down and tells Dr. Cameron (whom he
“ reasonably suspects ” of being the author of the
paragraph) that he is in the pay of the Government, p Corrupt
and in consideration of getting for his paper a few Tractices B.ll.
advertisements per annum, does as he is bidden. Dr. Cameron talks
about Mr. Callan’s “ fragile honour.” Mr. Healy shocked at this
rude speech. Dr. Cameron withdraws, firing a parting shot about
appealing from “ Philip drunk to Philip sober.” A hit, a palpable
hit. Only these pot-house brawls don’t raise the House in the esti-
mation of the intelligent foreigner in the gallery.
Business done.—Corrupt Practiees Bill read a Second Time.
Saturday Morning, One o’ Clock.—Just ahout to begin husiness,
after having spent nine hours in preliminary conversation. Mr.
Chaplin arrived ten minutes ago, nearly out of breath. Muster of
the clans to the left of the Speaker. Mr. Warton waked himself
up with a prodigious pinch of snuff. Mr. Alderman Fowler wakes
everybody else by observing “ Hear ! hear ! ” Sir Joseph Gillis
brightens up in the prospect of a scrimmage. Hartington glancing
under the rim of his well-poised hat, gloomily surveys the scene.
Knows what’s coming. Had it all over half a dozen times before.
Government want Morning Sitting on Tuesday, Chaplin and Sir
Joseph say “No.” Home to bed. Tired of it.
Academy Banquet, on Saturday, a great success. Brilliant elec-
tric light speeches from the President. The Prince of Wales
returned thanks in his model brief-and-all-to-the-point style. The
After-Dinner Oratory was incensed with tobacco. Lord Granyille
humorous, and Mr. Lowell said he felt “ posthumous.” Floreat;
Eaton
PUNCH, 0R THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[May 6, 1882.
F.SSENCE O F PARLIAMENT.
EXTRACTED FROM
THE DIARY OF TOBY, M.P.
Monday Night, April 24.—Air full of rumoiirs of new Baronets.
In fact, as Sir Charles Forster says, instead of calling 1 this the
Budget night, it ’s the Barry’nite. According to rumour, almost
everyone has got a lift. Look naturally for the name of Jomv
PejSTDEK. If Baronetcies are to be given for public services, surely
the man who has put half-a-dozen girdles round the earth should
be hailed “ Sir John.” But don’t find him in this list. Perhaps
there ’s a second edition reserved for men who have done substantial
serviee.
There are Members who respeetfully address me as “ Sir Toby.”
That also premature. Since I heard of these things coming on,
called to mind Peter’s procedure when
the new Ministry was formed. Shut him-
self up. Remained at home in the expecta-
tion of being sent for. No use me going
home, since here ’s the fount of honour
sitting on the Treasury Bench, having just
made his Budget Speech. Casually walked
once or twice between the Treasury Bench
_ and the Table, so as to give him the oppor-
lne Budget. tunity of mentioning any little matter he
had in his mind. Only nodded, with a “ How do, Toby?” Am
glad of it. These titles are empty things. As the poet says, “A
breath may blow them, so a breath be blowed.” G-ladstone and
myself will remain plain “ Mr.”
But there ’s Joseph Gtllis. Seems no doubt that henceforward we
shall have to be more respectful to him. Sir Joseph Gillis Biggar,
Bart., of Porkchops House, in the County of Cavan, isn’t to be trified
with. This, it is said, is to be the last attempt to solve the Irish
question.
“ Let ’s have JosephGillis on our side,” Bright said at the last
Cabinet Council, “ and all will be well.” Joey B. is reported to
have heen rather coy at first. Said he thought Mr. Healy would
cut him—Mr. Healy, whose proud reflection is that he doesn’t
know what a Prince is like, wouldn’t recognise it if he saw it.
Pointed out to Joseph that there is a difference between a Royal
Prince, and what J. B. calls “ a Barn’t.” This was, however, only
his slyness. Fact is he jumped at ofi'er. Expect there ’ll be a deai
of trouble with him. Says he ’s going to sit above the Gangway
now. He ’s not proud, he protests. But something is due to his
rank. Has given notice to Arthttr O’Connor that he must get
some one else to give him a lift home in a cah when the House sits
late. Or Sir Joseph says, if there is no other Member going that
way, they will have a "four-wheeler, and O’Connor shall ride on
the box.
All this very dreadful. Afraid our Joseph Gillis is for ever
lost to us. Will take an opportunity, on going into Committee of
Supply, of saying a few words on the enervating influence of Royal
favour.
JBusiness done.— Joseph Gillis made Barn’t. Budget brought in.
Tuesday.—The Conservative party and the country had better keep
j their eye on Stanley Leighton. There is in him
the making of a great orator. At present a little
clerical in method of delivery. Sir Charles Forster
tells me he was originally designed for the Church,
hut altered his mind. The Church lost a very good
curate. To the charms of oratorical manners familiar
in country churches, Stanley has added a “ haw-
haw ” manner, popularly supposed to be connected 1' w Member.
with the Mess Room.
Combination of Curate and Guardsman highly effective. Brought
on to-night Resolution about Lunatics in Private Asylums. Wants
them kept hy State. Been reading Valeritine Vox, also Lewis
Wingeield. Ingenuous imagination excited. Believes Mr. Glad-
stone keeps in private mad-houses as many persons as he can get
hold of who will not vote for him. This tyranny not to he endured.
Away with Private Mad-Houses !
“ Let none be for private parties,
But ali be for the State,”
as Macatjlay somewhere Lays it down.
Curious access_ of interest in lunatics displayed by gentlemen
opposed to marriage with the Deceased Wife’s Sister Bill. [Never
could understand how a Deceased Wife could have a Sister Bill.
Expect it ’s one of those errors constantly made in the printing de-
partment. Should read, “ Marriage with Deceased Wife’s Brother
Bill.”] Resolution in favour of Bill down on Orders. If the talk on
lunatics can be kept up^till half-past twelve, the Motion, being
opposed, can’t come on. So Members being averse to the matrimo-
nial prospects of the bereaved Brother Bill, displayed an extraordi-
nary acquaintance with the subject of lunacy. Tom Collins argued
at length. Quite surprised at the impatience on the other side.
Those who would see Brother Bill’s bereavement cheered by a
happy union, sit and growl.
Beresford PIope really quite informing on
the subject. Sort of Enquire Within on Every-
thing Relating to Lunatics. All nonsense about
cruelty in private asylums, he says; can’t be
done. “ Mr. Speaker,” he said, putting the
fingers of his right hand into the palm of his
left, “ with your permission I will descnbe
preeisely how a man or a woman is confined.”
Roars of laughter. Can’t see the joke myself, The Representation
but suppose it ’s somewhere about. Best to laugh, of Gioucester.
or might be thought stupid. (Quite the Cheese.)
Debate on lunatics kept up with great vigour till half-past twelve,
then suddenly dropped. Brother Bill howled out, and his marriage
indefinitely postponed.
JBusiness done.—Budget Resolution agreed to.
Wednesday Afternoon.—Wonderfully clever speech from Glad-
stone. None of your ordinary kind, where a man tries to let you
know what ’s in his mind. Anyone can do that with more or less
success. Great point about Weg’s speech was that being on his
feet thirty-five minutes talking with full flow of language, in
crowded House intently listening, he sat down leaving matters
about where he fouud them. Beautifully involved sentences.
Whole passages barricaded with conditions, and honeycombed with
subjunctives.
“ Letting T will not wait upon I won't,
Like the cat in the china-shop,”—
as Shakspeare somewhere hath it. Interesting to watch the
countenances of Members intently listening. Any one who has
seen a gentleman on the sunny shores of
the Riveria engaged in the oecupation of
catching mosquitos, may gather a general
impression. Now they had his meaning.
Now they hadn’t. Here it was, and there
it certainly is. Just as you can hear the
whizz of the mosquito, which makes moro
aggravating the quest, they could catch
glimpses of Weg’s meaning. Could hear
Rpnf Arrpnrs its whizz, as it were, all through the half-
hour. But at the end hadn’t got the mos-
quito. And he looked so innoeent, too—so anxious that he should be
comprehended, and that not a shade of his meaning should be lost!
This completed the joy of the afternoon, and madeGEORGiE Hamilton
more than usually wild.
Business done.—New Land Bill brought in by Land League.
Guaranteed to settle Ireland for at least seven weeks.
Thursday Night.—Most people away at Windsor marrying and
giving in marriage. Mr. Charles Lewis and Mr. Philip Callan
divided between them the earlier hours of the sitting.
Intelligent foreigner in the gallery begins to have a
high opinion of the British Parliament. Someone has
been saying something ahout Mr. Callan in the news-
papers. His sensitive mind naturally hurt. So he
comes down and tells Dr. Cameron (whom he
“ reasonably suspects ” of being the author of the
paragraph) that he is in the pay of the Government, p Corrupt
and in consideration of getting for his paper a few Tractices B.ll.
advertisements per annum, does as he is bidden. Dr. Cameron talks
about Mr. Callan’s “ fragile honour.” Mr. Healy shocked at this
rude speech. Dr. Cameron withdraws, firing a parting shot about
appealing from “ Philip drunk to Philip sober.” A hit, a palpable
hit. Only these pot-house brawls don’t raise the House in the esti-
mation of the intelligent foreigner in the gallery.
Business done.—Corrupt Practiees Bill read a Second Time.
Saturday Morning, One o’ Clock.—Just ahout to begin husiness,
after having spent nine hours in preliminary conversation. Mr.
Chaplin arrived ten minutes ago, nearly out of breath. Muster of
the clans to the left of the Speaker. Mr. Warton waked himself
up with a prodigious pinch of snuff. Mr. Alderman Fowler wakes
everybody else by observing “ Hear ! hear ! ” Sir Joseph Gillis
brightens up in the prospect of a scrimmage. Hartington glancing
under the rim of his well-poised hat, gloomily surveys the scene.
Knows what’s coming. Had it all over half a dozen times before.
Government want Morning Sitting on Tuesday, Chaplin and Sir
Joseph say “No.” Home to bed. Tired of it.
Academy Banquet, on Saturday, a great success. Brilliant elec-
tric light speeches from the President. The Prince of Wales
returned thanks in his model brief-and-all-to-the-point style. The
After-Dinner Oratory was incensed with tobacco. Lord Granyille
humorous, and Mr. Lowell said he felt “ posthumous.” Floreat;
Eaton