DOI Heft:
June 17, 1882
DOI Seite / Zitierlink: https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17752#0294
288
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. D, 1882.
“ I shall neyer go home no more,” he sang,
sadly.
Thus Bob had found him, and _ gallantly
restoring him his lost child, led him out of
the jungle.
The grateful old Provost would have em-
braced them both, but at that moment they
were somewhat startled by a loud roaring,
which at first the Provost thought proceeded
from waves, but on their nearer approach he
admitted that on unexceptionable evidence
the sound must have come from wild and
probably hungry beasts.
“ They feed about this time,” said Bob,
taking out his watch. “ They have smelt the
blood of an Englishman on the premises ”—
(the Provost trembled),—“ and have arrived
at a Zoological conclusion.”
The Provost shook.
“ We will sell our lives dearly,” exclaimed
Bob, with his arm round the young girPs
slender form, which trembled, as he remem-
bered his own beloved fourth form to have
trembled when it was a question whose turn
it might be to follow the Prmpostor’s
summons.
“ We will sell our lives dearly,” he re-
peated.
“Why part with them at any price F ”
asked the Provost, who held nine valuable
livings, and was as ten-acious of them as a
cat.
Before Bob eould reply, they were sur-
rounded.
CHAP. XXXY.
AN ADVENTUKE IN THE JUNGLE.
“ Fear nothing,” said Bob, fixing the huge
Monsters of the forest, that now fairly raged
and gambolled all over them, with his
cool, clear, light blue Eton eye, “ we are
in Circussia. These creatures are easily
tamed.”
“Xotadoubt of it,” replied the Provost,
getting up a tree. “ Houp-ld ! What’s the
first experiment P ”
Bob produced a pack of cards. The animals
by an instinct seemed to understand All
Eours, and he dealt a hand.
“ Hands all Round ! ” cried the Provost,
getting excited, and in the true Etonian spirit
putting the pot on heavily. His good-humour
was contagious.
A large Boa Constrietor proved a most
agreeable rattle, and finally three cheers were
being given for the party by a convivial
Hip-hip-hippopotamus, when Bob suddenly
threw up his cards.
He had been playing at first with a pro-
fessional Cheetah, and had lost heavily.
Then a Leopard tried it on, but was imme-
diately spotted.
“ They have evidently been highly
trained,” cried the Provost, admiringly. “I
shouldn’t wonder if we weren’t near a rail-
way station.”
He thought of going home at last with
honours, full length in a double first, and he
slid down the trunk.
But at, that moment a terrific shout burst
upon their ears. The Hotwhata Cannibals
were upon them again!
Bob boldly faced the scene.
The blue back-ground of the forest was
suddenly relieved by countless figures, every
one of them a staring yeller.
He had an eve for colour. The combina-
tion seemed to fill it with an agreeable green.
The Lion noticed it, and saw his own mane
chance. He gave the signal.
In another instant, with a cheery cry of
“ Floreat /” Bob, determined not to be a
half-eaten boy, was battiing for dear life, as
only an Eton boy could !
CHAP. XXXYI.
CON CLUSION.
There is little left to narrate.
After a series of stirring adventures, in
which the Provost was frequently scalped,
Wet Bob, with true Etonian pluck, man-
aged, by constructing an outrigger out of
the bark of some of the wildest dogs, and
getting together a scratch crew of real Cam-
bridge Cannibais, eventually to pull up to
Surley in the very best of spirits.
*****
His marriage with the fair Perkussian,
who had for some time prettily set her cap at
him, came ofi with much eclat, and, by the
general consent of his schoolfellows, he was
offered the vacant Provostship on his wedding-
day.
How his worthy old father-in-law, through
his aecident with the Hotwhata Cannibals,
forgot who he was, and had to be re-edueated,
and once again take his place in the Lower
Remove, and how he passed on to the Upper
Remove, and then, as two Removes are as
bad as a fire, escaped from his perilous
position by the aid of a little lad and a
taller fellow who was a ladder. and how
kindly Bob took him in hana out of school-
hours, soon became well known to the
Governing Body, and afforded them material
for one of their very best after-dinner stories.
Nor did Hadjx Nuef and Hatchu Mutch
remain unpunished. Returned to Teheran
sewn up in the sack they themselves got
at Eton, they fell ultimately into the hands
of their still more unscrupulous and terrible
Uncle, Hatcukm Both.
end.
UNFASHIONABLE ARRANGEMENTS.
Wednesday, June 14.—Mrs. Sikes’ breakfast party at the “ Con-
vict and Crowbar” to celebrate the release of Mr. AYilliaji Sikes
from the House of Detention.
Windsor Races. An Extraordinary Meeting of the Ancient Soeiety
of Welshers. A Paper will be readby Mr. Brief Snatcher on the
desirability of petitioning the Jockey Club in favour of doing away
with all race meetings held in the immediate vicinity of rivers, lakes,
or horse-ponds.
Grand Meet of the Lambeth Lads on the Thames Embankment
at 9 '30 p.m. Members are partieularly requested to bring their own
belts, and to see that the buekles are in good order, as through
simple neglect of this sort lately, several cases of what promised to
be interesting manslaughter, have been degraded into mere instances
of maiming for life.
Thursday, June 15.—Meeting of Penny-a-Liners at the Balaam
Box Inn and the Waste Paper Basket Hotel, on whieh occasion a Cup
will be presented to the talented author of a A Terrihle Scene on the
Underground Railway. The subject of the usual diseussion will be
the advisability of introducing the Sea Serpent into the columns of
the Provincial Press before August.
Garden Party in Judges’ Chambers to meet Royalty, in the person
of one of Her Majesty’s Judges. Yisitors are respectf'ully reminded j
that the invitations have been issued on orange-coloured paper, and j
that they are on no account transferable. Monthly supper of the
Convivial Aristoerats. JEmployes of the linen-drapers in the Totten-
ham Court Road are specially reminded that their subscriptions to
the above Club are now due.
Friday, June 16.—Mr. Crack: Crib’s remand at Bcw Street Police
Court. Relations and friends with alihis likely to withstand the
brutal barbarous practice of cross-examination are earnestly invited
to attend. All seats free. No collection.
Mr. Moloney’s Wake, Shorts’ Gardens, Seven Dials, at 10 p.m.
Mr. Tim Murphy and Miss Elizabeth O’Elannigan are requested
either to stop away altogether or not to come so drunk that they will
break the furniture and each other’s heads as was the case at old
Mrs. Moloney’s Wake.
Date appointed for the cutting off Mr. Pebble Beach’s gas, and
consequent soiree at his house, when he will recite an original poem
entitled “ Edison, or our Greatest Benefactor.” Guests are kindly
asked to bring their own candles.
Saturday, June 17.—Friendly lead at the “ Chalk and Slate ” on
behalf of Mrs. Maguire, whose husband is at present undergoing
a sentence of seven years’ penal servitude, for correcting his eidest
daughter with a poker. The eminent Comic Singer, Mr. O’Blather,
is expected to attend, and is hereby warned that he will, on account
of certain remarks which have come to a certain party’s ears, be
incontinently thrown out of the window (second floor) on arrival.
Grand meeting of the Boy Brigands of Bloomsbury, and presenta-
tion of the presidency to Master Thomas Sneak, in consideration of
his gallant conduct on the 20th ult., when, alone and unaided, he
captured from the stall of a blind old woman, two apples and a stick i
of sugar-candy.
J. Pullup having heard that H. Nevertry wants to scull him
over the Championship Course, will meet H. W. at the “ Ropers’
Arms ” at seven o’clock, and if it can be satisfactorily arranged who
is to lose, will scull him for whatever sum he likes.
The Six Months for which Mr. Fire Irons was bound over to keep
the peace towards his wife, expiring this day, Mr. F. I. cordially
invites those of his old friends who are fond of a bit of sport to come
round to his crib and see the interview between him and his Missus.
Weekly Supper of the Artistic and Literary Bohemians. An
eminent Artist on the staff of the Police Gazette will take the chair,
and he will be faced by the Proprietor of Gutter Garhage.
Mrs. Langtry, it is said, paid a hundred pounds for a special
train from Glasgow to London. Long trains of very expensive
material are the fashion now-a-nights, but this is quite the longest
and the cheapest we ’ve heard of' for some time. This lady endorses,
with her own sign-manual of “ Lillte Langtry,” Adelina Patti’s
opinion of Mr. Pears’s specialite. Being public characters, neither
of them must be surprised if they are asked by the “ Dirty Boy ” in
the Gallery, “Howareyou off for soap ? ” The London ZEsthetes
are sadly singing, “ Oh, Lillie, we have missed you ! ”
The Native Egyptian reported by the Times, says, “ Arabt gets
his influence because he is a fellah. The fellah likes to be governed
by afellah.” The Native must be related to the late Lord Dun-
dreary, and the Egyptian Ditficulty must be one which some fellahs
can understand.
The splendid holiday sc.hemes, at reasonable prices, put before the
public by the Tourist Companies, sound like “ Gaze Fables.”
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. D, 1882.
“ I shall neyer go home no more,” he sang,
sadly.
Thus Bob had found him, and _ gallantly
restoring him his lost child, led him out of
the jungle.
The grateful old Provost would have em-
braced them both, but at that moment they
were somewhat startled by a loud roaring,
which at first the Provost thought proceeded
from waves, but on their nearer approach he
admitted that on unexceptionable evidence
the sound must have come from wild and
probably hungry beasts.
“ They feed about this time,” said Bob,
taking out his watch. “ They have smelt the
blood of an Englishman on the premises ”—
(the Provost trembled),—“ and have arrived
at a Zoological conclusion.”
The Provost shook.
“ We will sell our lives dearly,” exclaimed
Bob, with his arm round the young girPs
slender form, which trembled, as he remem-
bered his own beloved fourth form to have
trembled when it was a question whose turn
it might be to follow the Prmpostor’s
summons.
“ We will sell our lives dearly,” he re-
peated.
“Why part with them at any price F ”
asked the Provost, who held nine valuable
livings, and was as ten-acious of them as a
cat.
Before Bob eould reply, they were sur-
rounded.
CHAP. XXXY.
AN ADVENTUKE IN THE JUNGLE.
“ Fear nothing,” said Bob, fixing the huge
Monsters of the forest, that now fairly raged
and gambolled all over them, with his
cool, clear, light blue Eton eye, “ we are
in Circussia. These creatures are easily
tamed.”
“Xotadoubt of it,” replied the Provost,
getting up a tree. “ Houp-ld ! What’s the
first experiment P ”
Bob produced a pack of cards. The animals
by an instinct seemed to understand All
Eours, and he dealt a hand.
“ Hands all Round ! ” cried the Provost,
getting excited, and in the true Etonian spirit
putting the pot on heavily. His good-humour
was contagious.
A large Boa Constrietor proved a most
agreeable rattle, and finally three cheers were
being given for the party by a convivial
Hip-hip-hippopotamus, when Bob suddenly
threw up his cards.
He had been playing at first with a pro-
fessional Cheetah, and had lost heavily.
Then a Leopard tried it on, but was imme-
diately spotted.
“ They have evidently been highly
trained,” cried the Provost, admiringly. “I
shouldn’t wonder if we weren’t near a rail-
way station.”
He thought of going home at last with
honours, full length in a double first, and he
slid down the trunk.
But at, that moment a terrific shout burst
upon their ears. The Hotwhata Cannibals
were upon them again!
Bob boldly faced the scene.
The blue back-ground of the forest was
suddenly relieved by countless figures, every
one of them a staring yeller.
He had an eve for colour. The combina-
tion seemed to fill it with an agreeable green.
The Lion noticed it, and saw his own mane
chance. He gave the signal.
In another instant, with a cheery cry of
“ Floreat /” Bob, determined not to be a
half-eaten boy, was battiing for dear life, as
only an Eton boy could !
CHAP. XXXYI.
CON CLUSION.
There is little left to narrate.
After a series of stirring adventures, in
which the Provost was frequently scalped,
Wet Bob, with true Etonian pluck, man-
aged, by constructing an outrigger out of
the bark of some of the wildest dogs, and
getting together a scratch crew of real Cam-
bridge Cannibais, eventually to pull up to
Surley in the very best of spirits.
*****
His marriage with the fair Perkussian,
who had for some time prettily set her cap at
him, came ofi with much eclat, and, by the
general consent of his schoolfellows, he was
offered the vacant Provostship on his wedding-
day.
How his worthy old father-in-law, through
his aecident with the Hotwhata Cannibals,
forgot who he was, and had to be re-edueated,
and once again take his place in the Lower
Remove, and how he passed on to the Upper
Remove, and then, as two Removes are as
bad as a fire, escaped from his perilous
position by the aid of a little lad and a
taller fellow who was a ladder. and how
kindly Bob took him in hana out of school-
hours, soon became well known to the
Governing Body, and afforded them material
for one of their very best after-dinner stories.
Nor did Hadjx Nuef and Hatchu Mutch
remain unpunished. Returned to Teheran
sewn up in the sack they themselves got
at Eton, they fell ultimately into the hands
of their still more unscrupulous and terrible
Uncle, Hatcukm Both.
end.
UNFASHIONABLE ARRANGEMENTS.
Wednesday, June 14.—Mrs. Sikes’ breakfast party at the “ Con-
vict and Crowbar” to celebrate the release of Mr. AYilliaji Sikes
from the House of Detention.
Windsor Races. An Extraordinary Meeting of the Ancient Soeiety
of Welshers. A Paper will be readby Mr. Brief Snatcher on the
desirability of petitioning the Jockey Club in favour of doing away
with all race meetings held in the immediate vicinity of rivers, lakes,
or horse-ponds.
Grand Meet of the Lambeth Lads on the Thames Embankment
at 9 '30 p.m. Members are partieularly requested to bring their own
belts, and to see that the buekles are in good order, as through
simple neglect of this sort lately, several cases of what promised to
be interesting manslaughter, have been degraded into mere instances
of maiming for life.
Thursday, June 15.—Meeting of Penny-a-Liners at the Balaam
Box Inn and the Waste Paper Basket Hotel, on whieh occasion a Cup
will be presented to the talented author of a A Terrihle Scene on the
Underground Railway. The subject of the usual diseussion will be
the advisability of introducing the Sea Serpent into the columns of
the Provincial Press before August.
Garden Party in Judges’ Chambers to meet Royalty, in the person
of one of Her Majesty’s Judges. Yisitors are respectf'ully reminded j
that the invitations have been issued on orange-coloured paper, and j
that they are on no account transferable. Monthly supper of the
Convivial Aristoerats. JEmployes of the linen-drapers in the Totten-
ham Court Road are specially reminded that their subscriptions to
the above Club are now due.
Friday, June 16.—Mr. Crack: Crib’s remand at Bcw Street Police
Court. Relations and friends with alihis likely to withstand the
brutal barbarous practice of cross-examination are earnestly invited
to attend. All seats free. No collection.
Mr. Moloney’s Wake, Shorts’ Gardens, Seven Dials, at 10 p.m.
Mr. Tim Murphy and Miss Elizabeth O’Elannigan are requested
either to stop away altogether or not to come so drunk that they will
break the furniture and each other’s heads as was the case at old
Mrs. Moloney’s Wake.
Date appointed for the cutting off Mr. Pebble Beach’s gas, and
consequent soiree at his house, when he will recite an original poem
entitled “ Edison, or our Greatest Benefactor.” Guests are kindly
asked to bring their own candles.
Saturday, June 17.—Friendly lead at the “ Chalk and Slate ” on
behalf of Mrs. Maguire, whose husband is at present undergoing
a sentence of seven years’ penal servitude, for correcting his eidest
daughter with a poker. The eminent Comic Singer, Mr. O’Blather,
is expected to attend, and is hereby warned that he will, on account
of certain remarks which have come to a certain party’s ears, be
incontinently thrown out of the window (second floor) on arrival.
Grand meeting of the Boy Brigands of Bloomsbury, and presenta-
tion of the presidency to Master Thomas Sneak, in consideration of
his gallant conduct on the 20th ult., when, alone and unaided, he
captured from the stall of a blind old woman, two apples and a stick i
of sugar-candy.
J. Pullup having heard that H. Nevertry wants to scull him
over the Championship Course, will meet H. W. at the “ Ropers’
Arms ” at seven o’clock, and if it can be satisfactorily arranged who
is to lose, will scull him for whatever sum he likes.
The Six Months for which Mr. Fire Irons was bound over to keep
the peace towards his wife, expiring this day, Mr. F. I. cordially
invites those of his old friends who are fond of a bit of sport to come
round to his crib and see the interview between him and his Missus.
Weekly Supper of the Artistic and Literary Bohemians. An
eminent Artist on the staff of the Police Gazette will take the chair,
and he will be faced by the Proprietor of Gutter Garhage.
Mrs. Langtry, it is said, paid a hundred pounds for a special
train from Glasgow to London. Long trains of very expensive
material are the fashion now-a-nights, but this is quite the longest
and the cheapest we ’ve heard of' for some time. This lady endorses,
with her own sign-manual of “ Lillte Langtry,” Adelina Patti’s
opinion of Mr. Pears’s specialite. Being public characters, neither
of them must be surprised if they are asked by the “ Dirty Boy ” in
the Gallery, “Howareyou off for soap ? ” The London ZEsthetes
are sadly singing, “ Oh, Lillie, we have missed you ! ”
The Native Egyptian reported by the Times, says, “ Arabt gets
his influence because he is a fellah. The fellah likes to be governed
by afellah.” The Native must be related to the late Lord Dun-
dreary, and the Egyptian Ditficulty must be one which some fellahs
can understand.
The splendid holiday sc.hemes, at reasonable prices, put before the
public by the Tourist Companies, sound like “ Gaze Fables.”