1

PUNCH, OP THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

[Apeil 1, 188’2.

150

AN EQUIVOCAL COMPLIMENT.

“ I ’m so olad to meet vou here, Captain Spinks—and so glad tou ’ke going to take me in to Dinner ! ” (Captain S. is

delightcd.) “You’re about the only Man in the Eoom. mt Hosband isn’t ltkely to bb Jealous of ! ”

[Captdin Spinks's delight is no longer unrtvxed.

“ TISH ALL ALIVE, OH !

There are certain statements on this subject that, in Mr. Punch's
opinion. have been demonstrated. to the meanest, capacity as incon-
trovertible facts.

No. 1.-—We all want more fish, and better fish, and cheaper fish,
and we don’t mean to cease agitating till we get it.

No. 2.—Fish brought to London by water arrives fresher, nicer,
and in better condition in every respect, than fish bronght by rail.

No. 3.—Billingsgate Market, from its confined space and wretched
surroundings, is utterly inadequate for the purposesfor which it was
intended.

No. 4.—London requires two wholesale fish markets, one for fish
brought by water, and one for fish brought by rail.

So far so good.

But now comes the mystery that no fellow can explain.

The Corporation, who boast of being Lords of the Markets, showing
th ey recognise these demonstrable facts by having nearly completed
a capital Market at Smithfield for the recep'tion of fish brought by Ilail,
and bv refusing to expend the enormous sum it would require to im-
prove the approaches to Billingsgate, are yet aetuaily opposing in Par-
liament the erection oi a commodious Fish Market at the water-side,
at Shadwell, on the ground that it interferes with some imaginary
rights granted to them by some musty old Charter of Edward the
Third !

What do we care about Edward the THiRD’sopinion upon London
Markets ?

Bother Edward the Third !

We want more fresh fish, and he, with his dead hand, stands in
the way of our getting it.

We might as welJ be forbidden from eating fish with a fork
because Edward the Thikd always ate his with a knife.

Mr. Punch has a sort of sneaking kindne.'S for the old Corpora-
tiou, esp' cially when he reads about their boundless charity, and
f heir famou* School, and their splendid Free Library, and Epping
Eorest and Burnham Beeches, and—no, nut about the Grriffin,—but

they must wake up to the necessities of this great Fish quest ion,
aud, throwing Edward the Third to the rightabout, withdraw j
their opposition to the proposed New Fish Market, and so earn the
goodwifi of the great masses of the uoor of East London, and of all
who want more of this delicate food for their overworked brains.

Surely this last thought should have its full weight even with the
Members of the Court of Aldermen.

NEW LIGHTS TOR OLD.

Modern Magician sings: —

New Lights for old ! ’Tis a taking cry.

Swift to my call will the Public flock ?

New Lights for old ! Will they haste to buy
At this Liheral rate all my glittering stoek P
Light! Here ’s a light that would quite outshine
The magical lamp that amazed Aladdin.

And yet, though to push the exchange must be mine,
There is something the bargain exceedingly sad in.
If ancient lamps flickered uot dreary and cold,

I never would ery “ New Lights for old ! ”

But darkness has gathered obstructively round,—
How to disperse it? Aye, that L the crux.

Must I not, learning of Edison, sound

’Midst Parliament’s chaos a new “ fiat lux .' ” ?

Can I, like Ajax, fight on in the dark ?

Nay. Our old rules are all sixes and sevens.

This is the dayr of the carbon and arc ;

Scienee must lend us a hint at St. Stephen’s.

Yet, if the old Jamps could be trimmed or controlled,
I never wuuld cry " New Lights for old ! ”

FI It.H.’s Motto eok Sandown.—“ Fairplmj ’s a jewel! ”