DOI Heft:
March 25, 1882
DOI Seite / Zitierlink:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17752#0144
March 25, 1882.]
137
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVAKI.
ALMA.CK’S KEDIYIYUS.
“ There have been rumours for some months past that there would be a revi-
val of Almack’s this season, and this proves to be the casz."—Morrimg Post.
Almack’s again ! how strange it
seems,
This last of Fashion’s changes,
And hackward in the world of
dreams
The Singer’s fancy ranges ;
To beaux and belles of ancient
days,
When Corydon and Phyllis
Won tribute from Morrisian
lays,
Within the halls of Willis.
They come each exqnisite and
bnck,
Who shook the dice at hazard,
And who, when flnshed with wine
ana luck,
Scored “ Charleys ” o’er tne
mazard.
Each dandy who in coat snb-
lime
Laughed lond, drank deep,
made merry,
Tne heroes of the golden time,
Of famous Tom and Jerry.
'Once more we see Bob Logic's
“ specs,”
And Tom so curly-hatted,
The wondr ous sha wls that s wathed
their necks,
So terribly cravatted.
We see them at the masquerade,
With all its fun and fury,
The visits to the Op’ra paid,
And Green-room of Old Drury.
And now shall Almack’s come
once more,
With all its tapers gleaming,
The highborn dames who took the
floor,
Mid Stars and Georges dream-
ing.
Shall we at Almack’s ‘ ‘ sport a
toe,”
High destiny fulfilling,
As that old song said long ago,
Through mazes of quadrilling.
“The grave Lord Iieeper led the
brawls,”
Unless the story false is ;
Will Gladstoxe, at these public
balls,
Lead Langtry down the
waltzes ?
Will Selborxe twirl and pirou-
ette,
A veritable Shaker,
And BRiGHTonWednesdaysforget
That he was born a Qnaker ?
An age of Plutocrats and prigs,
We may perchance laugh
louder,
But wit methinks went out with
wigs,
And epigram with powder.
You can’t bring back old tim.es
to-day,
Though some folks have a bias
For standing, as the Classies say,
Within “ antiquas vias ! ”
BIG STORXES FOR LITTLE HUMANITARIANS,
“ Be always kind to animals wherever you may be! ”—Elderly Lady.
No. I.-JOSEPH AND THE JELLY-FISH.
Joseph was wandering along the shore at Dover, and he saw a
poor helpless Jelly-fish that had been left by the tide on the sand.
His first impulse was to
shovel it up with his spade
and cast it into the sea:
his second thought was to
touch it gently. (Many
ehildren would not have
been so bold, but Joseph
knew his Tract for the
Time by heart, and was a
brave boy.) He patted it,
and stroked it with the
greatest reverence, and he
found it icy cold. Joseph
shed tears as he said,
“ Ha ! No doubt this poor
• Jelly-fish has been out all mght in the cold and the wet, without
even a great-coat, or an umbrella, or a pair of goloshes, while I was
sleeping in a nice warm bed, after a bountiful supper and a quarrel
with my nurse ! ” He tenderly raised the Jelly-fish in his spade,
placed it in his little wooden pail, cov«red it carefully with sea-
weed, and took it home. He knew there was not a moment to be
lost, so, plaeing it in a large basin, he determined to give it a warm
bath. He lifted the kettle from the nursery fire, and poured its
contents on his patient. To his horror the Jelly-fish vanished alto-
gether and a savoury odour pervaded the nursery !
At this moment Admiral Sinbad, Joseph’s papa, came in, and
inquired what was going on. He smiled as he listened to his son’s
simple story. Suddenly his eyes sparkled, and placing his hands on
the boy’s sunny curls, he said, “ Joseph, my lad, you have done
well. Your kindness has not been thrown away. Though you
have sacrificed the Jelly-fish, you have probably made one of the
freatest gastronomic discoveries of the age ! ” And if ever you
ine with the Admiral, and have some of his famous Jelly-fish Soup,
you will come to the conciusion that ihe grateful father did not over-
rate the discovery of his little son.
PRACTICE FOR
(By Dumb-C:
THE BOATRACE.
■arnbo Junior.)
Quick Becovery.
The Crew in Comfortable Q.uarters.
THE MODERN PROMOTERS , DIARY.
(Adapted from the Original American.)
Monday.—Received Prospectuses of my new Company, “ The
Under-the-Sea-to-Australia Submarine Tunnel Association.” Sent
out invitations to all the principal people in the Court Guide.
Tuesday.—Accompanied the Editors of the Daily Papers, the
Members of the Royal Academy, and the Fellows of the Royal !
Society, to see proposed terminus of the “ U. S. A. S. T. Association ” j
at Brighton. Breakfast d la Francaise at the “ Bedford ” afterwards. j
Wednesday.— Carried the Commander-in-Chief, the First Lord of
the Admiralty, and their respective suites to Dover, to see if a
branch line of the “ U. S. A. S. T. Association (terminus defended
by the Castle) could not be established under Shakspeare’s Cliff.
Luncheon subsequently at the “ Lord Warden.”
Thursday.—Conducted all the Dukes and Duchesses and Pro-
fessional Beauties in Town to Eastbourne, to see if the sea appeared
adapted for the construction of the “ U. S. A. S. T. Association.”
Grand garden-partv after the inspection, in the Devonshire Park.
Friday.—Attended their Royal Highnesses to Hastings, and had
the honour of explaining to them that it was proposed to make the
Submarine Tunnel, promoted by the “ U. S. A. S. T. Association,”
under the sea. Was permitted to make arrangements for the special
train to Hastings, the private Royal Dinner in a marquee, &c., &c.
Their Kuyal Highnesses expressed their satisfaction at their day’s
amusement.
Saturday.—Acted as cicerone to a large party of guests, consisting
of the Members of hoth the Houses of Parliament, all the Managers
of the Metropolitan Theatres, the Directors of the London General
Omnibus Company (Limited), the Lord Mayor and Corporation of
London, the Judges, the Metropolitan Magistrates, the Commanding
Officers of allt-he Metropolitan Yolunteer Corps, Captain Shaw t, C.B.,
the Rev. Mr. Haweis, the Senior Master in Lunacy, the Benchers of
Lincoln’s Inn, Mr. Alered Tennyson, the Council of the Royal
College of Surgeons, the Secretary of the Charity Organisation
Society, the Lord Chamberlain, the Members of the Marylebone
Cricket Club, the Commissioners of Police, the Chief Rabbi, the
Fellows of the Royal Zoological Society, Mr. Scott (personal attend-
ant on Jumbo) the Head Master of Westminster School, the Dean
of Christ Church, The Coroner of Her Majesty’s Household, Messrs.
Maskelyne and Cook, the Lecturers of Gresham College, and Mr.
Palgrave Simpson, to Ramsgate, to see if the harbour would inter-
ferewiththe “ U. S. A. S. T. Association.” Supper and fireworks
subsequently, at the “ Granville.”
Sunday.—Sent out 2,437 invitations for next week.
A recent traveller iri Borneo observes that, whatever his own
impressions of the island might be, he was sure that he had left a
wonderful impression behind him. Being asked to explain, he
replied that “ He had left a great Dent in Borneo.”
“ Alice in Wonderland.”—Alice at the Zoologieal when her
Jumbo has departed.
137
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVAKI.
ALMA.CK’S KEDIYIYUS.
“ There have been rumours for some months past that there would be a revi-
val of Almack’s this season, and this proves to be the casz."—Morrimg Post.
Almack’s again ! how strange it
seems,
This last of Fashion’s changes,
And hackward in the world of
dreams
The Singer’s fancy ranges ;
To beaux and belles of ancient
days,
When Corydon and Phyllis
Won tribute from Morrisian
lays,
Within the halls of Willis.
They come each exqnisite and
bnck,
Who shook the dice at hazard,
And who, when flnshed with wine
ana luck,
Scored “ Charleys ” o’er tne
mazard.
Each dandy who in coat snb-
lime
Laughed lond, drank deep,
made merry,
Tne heroes of the golden time,
Of famous Tom and Jerry.
'Once more we see Bob Logic's
“ specs,”
And Tom so curly-hatted,
The wondr ous sha wls that s wathed
their necks,
So terribly cravatted.
We see them at the masquerade,
With all its fun and fury,
The visits to the Op’ra paid,
And Green-room of Old Drury.
And now shall Almack’s come
once more,
With all its tapers gleaming,
The highborn dames who took the
floor,
Mid Stars and Georges dream-
ing.
Shall we at Almack’s ‘ ‘ sport a
toe,”
High destiny fulfilling,
As that old song said long ago,
Through mazes of quadrilling.
“The grave Lord Iieeper led the
brawls,”
Unless the story false is ;
Will Gladstoxe, at these public
balls,
Lead Langtry down the
waltzes ?
Will Selborxe twirl and pirou-
ette,
A veritable Shaker,
And BRiGHTonWednesdaysforget
That he was born a Qnaker ?
An age of Plutocrats and prigs,
We may perchance laugh
louder,
But wit methinks went out with
wigs,
And epigram with powder.
You can’t bring back old tim.es
to-day,
Though some folks have a bias
For standing, as the Classies say,
Within “ antiquas vias ! ”
BIG STORXES FOR LITTLE HUMANITARIANS,
“ Be always kind to animals wherever you may be! ”—Elderly Lady.
No. I.-JOSEPH AND THE JELLY-FISH.
Joseph was wandering along the shore at Dover, and he saw a
poor helpless Jelly-fish that had been left by the tide on the sand.
His first impulse was to
shovel it up with his spade
and cast it into the sea:
his second thought was to
touch it gently. (Many
ehildren would not have
been so bold, but Joseph
knew his Tract for the
Time by heart, and was a
brave boy.) He patted it,
and stroked it with the
greatest reverence, and he
found it icy cold. Joseph
shed tears as he said,
“ Ha ! No doubt this poor
• Jelly-fish has been out all mght in the cold and the wet, without
even a great-coat, or an umbrella, or a pair of goloshes, while I was
sleeping in a nice warm bed, after a bountiful supper and a quarrel
with my nurse ! ” He tenderly raised the Jelly-fish in his spade,
placed it in his little wooden pail, cov«red it carefully with sea-
weed, and took it home. He knew there was not a moment to be
lost, so, plaeing it in a large basin, he determined to give it a warm
bath. He lifted the kettle from the nursery fire, and poured its
contents on his patient. To his horror the Jelly-fish vanished alto-
gether and a savoury odour pervaded the nursery !
At this moment Admiral Sinbad, Joseph’s papa, came in, and
inquired what was going on. He smiled as he listened to his son’s
simple story. Suddenly his eyes sparkled, and placing his hands on
the boy’s sunny curls, he said, “ Joseph, my lad, you have done
well. Your kindness has not been thrown away. Though you
have sacrificed the Jelly-fish, you have probably made one of the
freatest gastronomic discoveries of the age ! ” And if ever you
ine with the Admiral, and have some of his famous Jelly-fish Soup,
you will come to the conciusion that ihe grateful father did not over-
rate the discovery of his little son.
PRACTICE FOR
(By Dumb-C:
THE BOATRACE.
■arnbo Junior.)
Quick Becovery.
The Crew in Comfortable Q.uarters.
THE MODERN PROMOTERS , DIARY.
(Adapted from the Original American.)
Monday.—Received Prospectuses of my new Company, “ The
Under-the-Sea-to-Australia Submarine Tunnel Association.” Sent
out invitations to all the principal people in the Court Guide.
Tuesday.—Accompanied the Editors of the Daily Papers, the
Members of the Royal Academy, and the Fellows of the Royal !
Society, to see proposed terminus of the “ U. S. A. S. T. Association ” j
at Brighton. Breakfast d la Francaise at the “ Bedford ” afterwards. j
Wednesday.— Carried the Commander-in-Chief, the First Lord of
the Admiralty, and their respective suites to Dover, to see if a
branch line of the “ U. S. A. S. T. Association (terminus defended
by the Castle) could not be established under Shakspeare’s Cliff.
Luncheon subsequently at the “ Lord Warden.”
Thursday.—Conducted all the Dukes and Duchesses and Pro-
fessional Beauties in Town to Eastbourne, to see if the sea appeared
adapted for the construction of the “ U. S. A. S. T. Association.”
Grand garden-partv after the inspection, in the Devonshire Park.
Friday.—Attended their Royal Highnesses to Hastings, and had
the honour of explaining to them that it was proposed to make the
Submarine Tunnel, promoted by the “ U. S. A. S. T. Association,”
under the sea. Was permitted to make arrangements for the special
train to Hastings, the private Royal Dinner in a marquee, &c., &c.
Their Kuyal Highnesses expressed their satisfaction at their day’s
amusement.
Saturday.—Acted as cicerone to a large party of guests, consisting
of the Members of hoth the Houses of Parliament, all the Managers
of the Metropolitan Theatres, the Directors of the London General
Omnibus Company (Limited), the Lord Mayor and Corporation of
London, the Judges, the Metropolitan Magistrates, the Commanding
Officers of allt-he Metropolitan Yolunteer Corps, Captain Shaw t, C.B.,
the Rev. Mr. Haweis, the Senior Master in Lunacy, the Benchers of
Lincoln’s Inn, Mr. Alered Tennyson, the Council of the Royal
College of Surgeons, the Secretary of the Charity Organisation
Society, the Lord Chamberlain, the Members of the Marylebone
Cricket Club, the Commissioners of Police, the Chief Rabbi, the
Fellows of the Royal Zoological Society, Mr. Scott (personal attend-
ant on Jumbo) the Head Master of Westminster School, the Dean
of Christ Church, The Coroner of Her Majesty’s Household, Messrs.
Maskelyne and Cook, the Lecturers of Gresham College, and Mr.
Palgrave Simpson, to Ramsgate, to see if the harbour would inter-
ferewiththe “ U. S. A. S. T. Association.” Supper and fireworks
subsequently, at the “ Granville.”
Sunday.—Sent out 2,437 invitations for next week.
A recent traveller iri Borneo observes that, whatever his own
impressions of the island might be, he was sure that he had left a
wonderful impression behind him. Being asked to explain, he
replied that “ He had left a great Dent in Borneo.”
“ Alice in Wonderland.”—Alice at the Zoologieal when her
Jumbo has departed.